Two posts today said this so very well: I'm giving my son the best gift I can give him and it's the gift of detachment. Wow. What a thought. I am creating this new post with this idea because I think it is so very worthy of all our consideration. There is a great post already on this thread about what detachment is and isn't. 1. It isn't cutting off all contact. 2. It might mean taking a break from contact for a while. 3. It isn't yelling and being mean. 4. It is planning what we will say and sticking to that as much as possible. 5. It isn't "giving them one last speech" before we stop taking their calls. 6. It is keeping it simple, and saying less instead of more (they already know). 7. It isn't coldly cutting them off. 8. It is setting boundaries that first work for us regarding phone calls, texts, visits, FB messages. 9. It isn't never caring about them again. 10. It is letting adults learn how to grow up and be adults, even if it's hard to watch. And it's a whole lot more. Figuring out when it's good to "help" and when it's not good to "help" is a daily, sometimes minute by minute struggle. It isn't easy. It's so hard to know what to do and what not to do. Often, if we will just wait...WAIT....let time go by, even a few hours or a day or two...we will see that their "emergency" resolves itself or it morphs into something else. Acting immediately is for us. It always has been. We have to see that, and then we have to start training ourselves to wait. Happy Thanksgiving today! There is so much to be grateful for, regardless. Warm hugs.