last psychiatric visit... after horrid rages from my daughter... i take my son too so he can help me tell how this is affecting us... appointment sucked. Doctor talked to her, she minimized the problems into "moms mean" he askes me..I tell him a brief version of the truth...he looks back to her says "hows school" she says fine. So he says "i am writing script for 5 months see you then". WTH? so on the way out she opens the door...doctor goes first, then my son, then me and daughter is last. I said.. "she is bringing up the rear". We get to the front and the doctor tells the kids to go outside..and he reemes my butt...about how horrible that statment was...I am thinking this man thinks i said something like "she takes it up the rear" or soemthing..so repeat it "she is bringing up the rear" meaning she is ..the caboose of the train... He proceeds to telling me how horrible i am for making that statment...etc.... Thats a statement teachers make in school..etc.. I dont get it... I get to the car..my son says mom he is a glorified drug pusher.... So...we are not going back to this man. He has been no help... just increases the medications when I tell him they are not working...she has gained 30lbs in 2 months ....yes she is good at school... but the school isnt paying for this ..I AM..i would like some help at home please?????????? Problem is..there are not shrinks around here with "openings"...they are full and not taking any new patients.... Meanwhile..I deal with almost daily rages if I dont do what she wants..or I say NO...i walk on eggshells for any form of peace. Why? because I cannot physically make her do or not do anything..she is much stronger than me..and she has hit me, thrown things at me..etc. She goes to school and tells her friends and the councelor that she is innocent... she comes home ..i call her a B and slap her...and they tell her since she has no bruises they wont call dhs.... but... that she needs to make me talk to her and explain to her what she is doing wrong...WHAT?????????????? I have NEVER hit my child...other than the time I had to restrain her and while reaching in to grab her I hit her.... She was hitting me..punching and kicking me...and I came across her shoulder trying to get my hand on her pony tail to hold her off till my son could get in the house to get her off of me. Regardless there was no HIT. My ex husband (her father) says she needs her butt beat..and at times I would agree, but I physically cant do that. Any attempt I ever made to spank her resulted in her rolling over or pulling away and there was no way to beat her butt. She is on Depakote and Abilify. I think the Abilify works..the Depakote has not..there is absolutely no improvement and she has gained weight.... Her father is finally seeing some of this as she always wants to call him becasue in the past he has taken her side and bashed me to her. In the past two months he has actaully come to our home during her fits and seen it firsthand. Is he on the boat? no...but he sees it now. I think he might regret alot of the bad things he said about me to her as she has rehashed his words in her attacks on me ...out of anger toward him for not taking her side. Okay..so sometims you think..gosh this is a normal child with sort of behavior problems that are in her control...so... lets put her somewhere where she will see what she has at home. But..if she is bipolar that would make it worse. She needs to be AWAY from me... I need a freaking break.....she needs to miss me and the things she takes for granted. But she needs to be somewhere that she cant manipulate things and will show her true colors as she does at home. No her father wont take her. (good thought..but he wont). I get advice to call the cops when she is hitting me... good idea too... but then she will have a record...it will be all over town...and right now I guess I am the only one that gets this treatment. I am trying to do this ..without letting the rest of the world know... so she wont have a reputation for being crazy...but meanwhile she is spreading around that I abuse her...GOOD LORD. Really folks..I can ground her..no phone... right..well if i am not paying attention to her she will get the phone and use it..then what? lock the phones in my room??? should i have to do that with a 13 year old? Stay in your room? wrong..she has to use the bathroom, get a drink etc.... and is out and at my feet badgering me. I walk away to get a break from her attacks and she follows me...to my room and lock the door she is banging on it..having a fit ....throwing things in the house..etc. but..I must tell you..she is a beautiful child... she can be sweet and lovable... (which will be used against me later when she wants something)....her grades were great, but are now falling and her teachers make comments to her like "i know you are having problems at home but"....(see they know there are problems)... venting complete for now... hit me with what you think.