Can Someone Please Help Me

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sweepymom, Apr 25, 2007.

  1. sweepymom

    sweepymom New Member

    I have four children 8,6,4,3 and hold down a job with my own mental health issues. 8 has diagnosis of adhd,odd,Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). 6 has diagnosis of adhd,odd. 4 waiting to evaluation. 3 basically normal but my issue is can someone help me understand how to balance my mental wellbeing in order to keep these kisd in line. Things seem worse as each day goes by I can't find any discipline that works. I've tried spanking, time out,123 magic,just about everything. 8 just seems to get worse as i try new forms of discipline. Can anyone help me Im about to rip my hair out.
  2. oceans

    oceans New Member

    Have any medications been tried? Any therapy? It would be helpful if you found support for yourself as well.

    You could look to see if there are classes or support groups at NAMI in your area.

    Many people here have found the book the explosive child by Ross Greene very helping for our kids.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Are you on your own? It is important to take time out for yourself. Is there someone that can handle the kids for an hour at least once a week? You could get out for a cup of coffee.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad you found us. I agree it's very important to find some time for yourself. Even if it's just taking a walk or a bubble bath after the kids are in bed-even reading a good book.
  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Welcome, I know how you feel, and I am working on just one right now.
    You got a good head start by finding us. There are lots of wise warrior moms and dads here with plenty of experience and empathy for what you are going through.
    Get your hands on the book "The Explosive Child" YESTERDAY. It really helps put things into perspective for dealing with the childrens' behavior. And as the other moms have stated, find a way to take care of you. If you are not well, there is no way you can take care of your little ones.
    Hugs and prayers.
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    Are you or the kids working with a therapist. He/she might have some ideas and be able to go over behaviors with you.
  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    You need to take care of yourself in order to to be able to care for your children. It's very easy for parents to neglect their own health and well-being and in the end it's not healthy for anyone.

    Do you have a support system at all? Are you in therapy for yourself or as a family?
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Welcome! There isn't one parent here who has not been in your position.

    It's time to sit down with paper & pencil & sort things out. What is your highest concern? Take that one on, then move onto the next.

    What help are you getting for yourself? "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

    Again welcome - hope we can help you sort all this out.
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Wow. YOu have a lot on your plate. This is what I'd do if I had more than one with similar problems in order to get them regulated and myself sane.
    1/Consider a therapist for myself
    2/Make sure each one has a neuropsychologist Evaluation. Hopefully, your insurance would cover it, and they could actually all be on the autism spectrum if one has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). It's very hereditary, and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids just do not respond to normal therapeutic behavioral methods, although they respond to certain things that you can discuss with an expert. Once they are in community and school interventions, if they are on the spectrum, they should immensely improve, including behavioral. medications can be considered.
    3/Read "The Explosive Child" so that you don't have a war zone in your house.
    4/Post here and know we care. Hugs!!!
  10. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Just chiming in with another "Welcome" and some :::hugs:::

    You've found a great group of warrior moms and dads here.
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Wanted to add my warm welcome. :biggrin:

    Finding time for yourself is a big deal. You need it, you deserve it. And it helps to destress and keep the frustration down. Is there someone who can watch the kids for just a short while? Maybe long enough for you to take a long walk? Or even if you can slip into a nice hot bath once they're down for the nite would help some.

    You definately have your plate full.

  12. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    I don't really have anything to add to the great advice you've already been given. I just wanted to add my welcome too. WFEN