Can't get my child off the computer

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by annaCZ, Nov 28, 2016.

  1. annaCZ

    annaCZ New Member

    I have a 15 year old son who constantly wants to play games on the computer and he won't get off when I ask him to. He's recently become physically aggressive when I try to set limits and get him off at a certain time. I've tried turn the computer off but he's able to overpower me. I'm a single parent and any suggestions would be helpful.
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Had he always been a problem?

    If he gets violent, I'd call the police.
     
  3. annaCZ

    annaCZ New Member

    He's had this problem for awhile but it's gotten worse recently. I really hope it doesn't come to it, but I'll call the police if I have to. He's getting older and stronger than me.
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Was he evaluated as a child?
     
  5. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Have you tried disconnecting the internet when he refuses to stop his gaming?
     
  6. annaCZ

    annaCZ New Member

    That's a really good idea! I could turn off the wifi
     
  7. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Or rather, turn it on for homework and for specifically allowed game time, but the default position is off, at least until he breaks his addiction.

    If he gets violent, call the police.

    Does he have any mental health or other issues?
     
  8. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Also, if you start turning wifi off, it would probably be a good idea to have a discussion about it first. He might really have an outburst if it goes off during the middle of a game.

    Then, give him incentives to earn extra time by good behavior or completing homework or chores... Or extend hours on weekend but not on school nights.

    It is hard when they rage over things like computer games. Do you know if he is going to appropriate sights? Talking to people he doesn't know? Beside the time and energy involved in gaming and computer use, the other possibilities are scary too.

    KSM
     
  9. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    We surprise our with..Password change! Funny how suddenly it flushes the rats out...and they are compliant!

    Lol...we have so little control for so long....
     
  10. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    Cancel the service and if he has to do something for school make him go to the library.
     
  11. Praecepta

    Praecepta Active Member

    TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!

    Get a large male friend to come over and physically remove it.
    Keep it at someone else's house/storage/office.

    And NO MORE games until he shapes up!

    If he wants privileges and wants you to do things for him, then he can "get with the program"! (If not, then make his life miserable - you don't need to be doing things for kids like that.)
     
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    The computer would not be there when he came home from school the next time. Period. If he had a fit or got violent, he would end up in handcuffs because I would not tolerate that nonsense. He is too old for that.

    If he wants computer time, he can earn it with good grades, good behavior and good performance on chores. He can also earn it with compliance with limits as to types of games and time limits for amount of time playing. If he wants to set the rules, he can get his degrees and pay ALL his own bills and then set all his own rules. That is how it works.

    I strongly urge you to read Parenting Your Teen With Love & Logic by Faye and Cline. It has strategies that truly are effective.

    One thing we found was that when my son became fixated on the computer it would take a couple of weeks with zero computer time to sort of break the cycle before it could be even tentatively introduced again with rules. Before that, he was UNABLE to follow any rules, but after a few weeks break, he was able to follow the rules at least for a while. But he needed that TOTAL break to be able to follow the rules.
     
  13. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Please, since you said your son has threatened/become violent over the computer before, get all guns and other weapons out of the house before this, (and KEEP THEM OUT!) Lock up "sharps" (knives, scissors, yard tools, etc)

    Horrible to think of, but many parents/grandparents/guardians have been injured and even killed by children over computer usage.

    Also, violent verbal threats, damage to property, and physical threats of violence/actual violence cannot be tolerated AT ALL! At 15, he doesn't have long before he's a legal adult, and he's already at the age where he can be tried as an adult in most states. If he does any of these things, PRESS CHARGES! He's less likely to be charged as an adult, and it may be an entry into care and treatement for him. Also, doing so may save not only his life, but yours' as well.