Care to cross your fingers? The coaster is poised to go down

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DDD, Mar 17, 2011.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm not in crisis mode. Yep, I am repeating the Serenity Prayer and crossing my fingers. In a nutshell GFGmom announced today that easy child/difficult child and difficult child will be kicked out of the apartment she was so happy to get them into months ago...because difficult child no longer has disability coming in and his new job doesn't have a start date (if at all).

    She is really sad because difficult child will have to return to her house which she doesn't want. on the other hand she is eager for him to get a big arears check from diability and wants him to add her name to his account officially when it comes. :sigh:

    Meanwhile I am crossing fingers, etc., that easy child/difficult child will come home and not move into an apartment with difficult child friends. He only has a couple of weeks left on probation and he has made progress lately. He's still an alcoholic but he limits his nights out to two a week and does not drive. Surrounded by difficult child's who knows what temptations will be present daily.

    I am trying to stay disengaged from the possible poor choice that easy child/difficult child is apt to make. Meanwhile a couple of extra good thoughts sent thru cyber space will help me...and maybe him too. Thanks. DDD
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    DDD - Wow... Hugs. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and all the difficult children...
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Fingers crossed and sending hugs.
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    OMG. It's as if she considers him her personal savings cash cow. I don't know why that surprises me. Maybe I'm just surprised that they haven't gotten wise to it over the years.

    I'm sorry, D3. Same old. Same old.

    I will hope for good choices.

  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Just found out that they have to be out on Tuesday. easy child/difficult child is floundering and I expect will be drunk as a skunk this weekend. Our community has a big event that makes the whole county nuts this weekend and the timing is all wrong.

    Just found out that GFGmom has claimed easy child/difficult child as a dependent on her income tax filed in January. Geez Louise. She has not supported him in anyway...just told him he needed to leave our house and stay with his little brother so his bro wouldn't be frightened. This is like a cross between a horror flick and Jerry Springer.

    easy child/difficult child wants to be a easy child. With his issues and his past he his drawn to difficult children. I wouldn't bet a wooden nickle that he opts to come home. It is scarey how much of an impact a biomom can have. She truly has ruined the future of both sons for the sake of monetary gain. It honestly makes me sick! Keep crossing everyone but don't expect the best. DDD
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Holding good thoughts, crossing body parts, and sending ((((hugs))))
  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Hope the boys find clarity of vision before it's too late.
  8. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Keeping all body parts crossed that he comes home ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911


    She never ceases to amaze or take and take and take. I'm just hoping for some divine intervention for your kiddo. Maybe Budweiser will get lost.
    Hugs to you - I'll be keeping him in my thoughts this weekend.

  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Fingers crossed he does not do anything that will get him into trouble!
  11. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ugh. Fingers and toes crossed here...
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dont want to be mean here but...maybe the Clydesdale's could run over Gfgmom on the way to the bank! Oh and her boyfriend/so or whatever he is could be with her so the boys could have her apartment!
  13. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh dear DDD, doesn't sound very good. I'm sending good thoughts for a reasonable solution.

  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    LOL! GFGmom lives in a house.........compliments of Habitat For Humanity. In order to be eligible you have to donate hours of volunteer service. Care to guess who did the majority of the volunteer work???? Little difficult child who wanted his Mom to have a house of her own. Geez! DDD
  15. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    What a mess difficult child mom has caused :( Of course, lots of positive juju being sent out into the universe that easy child/difficult child makes the right move.

  16. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    easy child/difficult child told me today that he dioesn't think he'll come home as he sees it as "a backward step". I'm not sure what he'll do.....because he has great difficulty making decisions and is apt to change his mind. He "thinks" he will move into the house of a difficult child's Mom who has invited him there. Honestly I can understand not wanting to come home. Part of me is actually relieved but the other part is really concerned. Guess after over a decade of living in crisis I am conflicted.

    If money wasn't an object I am close to positive I could get him to relocate and get a fresh start.
    Unfortunately his rehabs and his hospitalizations drained what was left of our savings. easy child who lives in the Atlanta area would help him there but she and her husband have a lovely life that they have worked hard to build. She told me some months ago that she needed to talk with him directly to make sure that he was prepared to change his lifestyle. Of course he isn't going to promise not to drink, attend AA etc. which I assume is the criteria for their support. easy child's husband was an active alcoholic in this twenties (maybe a bit longer) before he had to make a choice. easy child or booze. He opted for easy child and the two of them live a peaceful healthy lifestyle. I may share that with easy child/difficult child but I know his difficult child side won't accept rules and directions from anyone at this time.

    I'll update when I have an update. I'm keeping my fears in check. on the other hand, I feel very tired this week and I assume it is from my concerns. :sigh: On the other hand, lol, it may just be old age! DDD
  17. KFld

    KFld New Member

    DDD, these difficult child's are exhausting, so I'm sure it's not that you are old LOL!! Don't you wish we could go back to the days when you and I first met online and are biggest problems were that our boys were ADHD??
    My boyfriend keeps telling me how exhausting my son is and I just have to laugh because he has only known him for 3 years and he has exhausted me for close to 24 years. My boyfriend is so good with him and I just have to wonder if my son had a father figure like him all these years if his life wouldn't have been so much different?? One will never know!
  18. 4timmy

    4timmy New Member

    Crossing fingers and toes for you and praying to baby Jesus.
  19. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    I was just thinking how exhausted I was from all this yesterday, and how I want it to be over. Then I thought- well, it's never really over and I almost started crying. It's like being in one of Dante's circles of hell. Even detachment doesn't really end it. And, like you, when it's too quiet I'm always holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's been good for me to find this place, because people who aren't going through this DO NOT understand it at all. Hang in there!
  20. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Well, D Day has come and gone. He called Sunday and told me he had decided to try living with X and his family. I replied that I knew it was a difficult decision and that I hoped it would work out for him.
    As he does every day he said he loved me and would talk to me Monday.

    Monday at 5:45 am he shows up at the house and says "sorry to wake you up Mama but I just couldn't go to sleep there so if you don't mind I'll catch a few hours in my old room". As I sat with my too early morning coffee I couldn't help but smile. That kid is the easy child kid that I love. At home there is no posturing, dirty words etc. Away from home he is drawn like a blankin' magnet to the
    difficult child life which skirts along the edges of rules.

    This morning, Tuesday, he showed up at the house at 6:30. He was sober as a Judge and upbeat.
    Said he went to bed and to sleep around 10 pm and was ready to start his day and go help husband at the store. SO....I guess time will tell what's going to happen. The coaster is still teetering on the top. I'm as prepared as I can be. What a life! DDD