First, the oldest DGD is now 23. She lives a couple hours away in a college town. But she is not doing college she moved because friends live there. She has moved for the third time in about a year and is now renting a room in a house with two other women. She doesn't get enough work hours to adequately support herself. She is doing housekeeping work for someone who iust pays cash so there's no record of any funds coming in. Which makes it hard for her to apply for any help. In our state, you have to be the working poor to get help. But she does have an interview today for a part-time receptionist at a health club. Maybe between the two jobs it will become better. It's hard because she is impulsive and the last stimulus check she used to buy a German Shepherd puppy. The last thing someone needs when they can't even support themselves.
Our great grandson is now about 16 months old. At the end of April they were evicted from their low-income duplex probably for multiple reasons. Her boyfriend got a pitbull puppy when no pets were allowed. He was also a nuisance to the neighbors and was destructive to the apartment. Since the end of April to mid-june we kept the great-grandson at our house because they were homeless. Dgd knew she was welcome to stay here with the baby but chose to stay with the boyfriend couchsurfing, sleeping in their car, or getting motel rooms when people helped pay for it. Out of over six weeks she spent three nights at our house. But as soon as boyfriend contacted her she would take off. We fell more in love with the little guy since we had him 24/7.
Her biological mom, our ex daughter-in-law, wanted them to come stay with her on the West Coast. So in mid-june they flew to the northwest and stayed with her mom in an RV that was parked behind her friends home. Since then, dgd, has really not had much contact with us. We found out her boyfriend broke her phone the first couple days they were there. Sometimes she would use someone else's phone and log on to Facebook Messenger and we could send messages that way. I did not even have her mom's telephone number. After they had been there several weeks ex-daughter-in-law actually called us! I think she didn't have a clue how bad the boyfriend was. She called a couple weeks ago about at the end of her rope.
I believe they were using meth and or cocaine, besides weed. In our state even marijuana is illegal but it's not where they moved to. After about 6 weeks there, dgd found a part-time job that she only worked a couple weeks before quitting. Boyfriend has not gotten a job at all. Even since the baby was born!! Older dear granddaughter has video chat so she can see her nephew about once a week. And she'll take screenshots and share them with us. I believe her mom has given boyfriend an ultimatum to find a job or leave. But it will probably be like here, granddaughter won't leave the boyfriend but will leave the child.
The boyfriend's parents have not had any communication with him. His mom said he did call the day they arrived and now will not answer their messages. The dad and his wife have not received any messages. I feel like I am grieving the loss of my dgd...and she is still alive. And the loss of great grandchild... at least there are other adults in close proximity who know boyfriend is an a**hole and would call the police if needed.
I am still going to alanon and working on boundaries if they return here. Also, if boyfriend returns, he has a warrant for failure to appear and not paying fines.
It is wasn't for sweet great grandson, I could easily ignore the situation. Trying to be strong.
Ksm
Our great grandson is now about 16 months old. At the end of April they were evicted from their low-income duplex probably for multiple reasons. Her boyfriend got a pitbull puppy when no pets were allowed. He was also a nuisance to the neighbors and was destructive to the apartment. Since the end of April to mid-june we kept the great-grandson at our house because they were homeless. Dgd knew she was welcome to stay here with the baby but chose to stay with the boyfriend couchsurfing, sleeping in their car, or getting motel rooms when people helped pay for it. Out of over six weeks she spent three nights at our house. But as soon as boyfriend contacted her she would take off. We fell more in love with the little guy since we had him 24/7.
Her biological mom, our ex daughter-in-law, wanted them to come stay with her on the West Coast. So in mid-june they flew to the northwest and stayed with her mom in an RV that was parked behind her friends home. Since then, dgd, has really not had much contact with us. We found out her boyfriend broke her phone the first couple days they were there. Sometimes she would use someone else's phone and log on to Facebook Messenger and we could send messages that way. I did not even have her mom's telephone number. After they had been there several weeks ex-daughter-in-law actually called us! I think she didn't have a clue how bad the boyfriend was. She called a couple weeks ago about at the end of her rope.
I believe they were using meth and or cocaine, besides weed. In our state even marijuana is illegal but it's not where they moved to. After about 6 weeks there, dgd found a part-time job that she only worked a couple weeks before quitting. Boyfriend has not gotten a job at all. Even since the baby was born!! Older dear granddaughter has video chat so she can see her nephew about once a week. And she'll take screenshots and share them with us. I believe her mom has given boyfriend an ultimatum to find a job or leave. But it will probably be like here, granddaughter won't leave the boyfriend but will leave the child.
The boyfriend's parents have not had any communication with him. His mom said he did call the day they arrived and now will not answer their messages. The dad and his wife have not received any messages. I feel like I am grieving the loss of my dgd...and she is still alive. And the loss of great grandchild... at least there are other adults in close proximity who know boyfriend is an a**hole and would call the police if needed.
I am still going to alanon and working on boundaries if they return here. Also, if boyfriend returns, he has a warrant for failure to appear and not paying fines.
It is wasn't for sweet great grandson, I could easily ignore the situation. Trying to be strong.
Ksm