Child who talks to himself

Discussion in 'Special Ed 101' started by Colleen trainor75, May 21, 2017.

  1. Colleen trainor75

    Colleen trainor75 New Member

    hi my name is Colleen and I am new to this site, and don't know exactly how to do this so sorry if it's not right. 'Y son just turned 18 and even as a little boy had conversations with himself, he would talk, but also answer his own questions. Over the years I have taken him to more doctors then a care to admit, but he was my first child and wasn't sure at first if this was normal. As years have gone on he has gotten worse, he only has a handful of friends and their all older then him, but not one friend in his high school which it's his last year. As a parent I worry and wonder what I did wrong he like I said has been to so many doctors they have gave him diagnosis like autism, aspagers which I know is in that family. One doctor said he had bipolar so many diagnosis I don't know where to go from here. We have tried every medication you can think of but he hates them because he no longer talked and just walked around like a zombie so he begged to go off bc he felt dead on it. Now he's 18 and can't force him to see or take any medications, but as a mother I worry sick about his future. He does have learning disabilities so he does struggle in school to keep up his grades, I am a single mom that lives with my mom until last year when she passed suddenly she had a massive stroke and died 4 days later and I feel my son has not been the same and talking to himself picked up a lot she was like his second mother who helped raise him while I worked. I'm sorry so long I'm just looking for anyone advice and to let people with younger children having same issues maybe to help their children before they get old enough to refuse help like mine. I'm sorry so long I am a desperate mother who worries about my child's future and would love input on any ideas I don't take any offense I take everything as a learning experience so don't hold back what you think. Thank you so much if you read through this and probably left out key things and if I did feel free to ask. Thank you and any suggestions would be so appreciated.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My high functioning autistic son always talked to himself. Now he is an independent adult, not mentally ill and not on medication. He still does it but only when he is alone. He knows it is socially inappropriate. And he doesnt have hallucinations or fact because he got so much intervention as a child, nobody really knows he is on tje spectrum now. He is picky about who he hangs with and is never going to be a social butterfly, but he is happy, beloved by all who know him and has gone from point A (not speaking intil age 5) to point Z ( becoming an independent adult.) He is slmost 24 and lives alone paying his own bills.

    If doctors are saying any form of autism take him to a neuro psychologist (a psychologist who has extra training in tje brain) for a complete evaluation. in my opinion they are the best diagnostitians around. You vsn find them at childrens hospitals and universoty clinics. They often have waiting lists, but most are worh it.

    My son was diagnosed on tje spot, by my observations onlt, until he was 11 and took many medications tjat I regret he ever pit in his system. Autistic kids need autism interventions, not drugs.

    It helped my son, like night and day. He lives on his own, pays his own bills, has two part time jobs and does get a little SSI, but a very little because he makes money from working six days a week. He is sunny all the time and very kind. He will run to open a door for somebody or to pick up something someone dropped.

    It is not too late for your son to get evaluated and helped. Do not trust the school to diagnose right or a pediatrician (not his specialty...he does sniffles) or even a talk therapist. This is out of their league. My son had ten hours of testing over two days time by a neuro psychologist. It did the trick. In school he had an Occupational Therapist (OT), a PT, social skills class and, at younger ages, an aide but he outgrew the aide.
    Many parents here long for college. My son did not want to go. He had learning disabilities too. We never pressed him to go to college. We just wanted him and all our kids to live happy lives and we dont think college is as important as some do. Your son may not be made for college, but he can certainly learn to be socially appropriate, work, and live independent of you.
    I asked my son recently if he still talks to himself and he smiled and said," Only when Im home."

    I asked why he did it. He said,"Theres nobody else to talk to so i talk to me and its not so quiet!"

    That works.

    He is still on the spectrum but nobody would guess to see him. He is extremely friendly at work and is well liked and is often asked over. But he chooses only to get close to one young man and that is fine.

    My advice is a neuro psycholovist evaluation first then dont turn away from any interventions suggested. Our denial doesnt make them okay. And going to people who dont thoroughly test for everything first (yes, there are ways) can get you ten different diagnoses and medications in your son that he would be better off not ingesting.

    I wish you good luck.
    Last edited: May 21, 2017
  3. Colleen trainor75

    Colleen trainor75 New Member

  4. Colleen trainor75

    Colleen trainor75 New Member

    I'm sorry I think I reposted it by accident, but I want to thank you so much on all your advice. For the first time in many years I feel hopeful? Bc of your inspirational story. I will def look into a specialist so thank, it warms my heart knowing there are people out there that are willing to share stories of their lives to give someone else hope. Thank you so much and I'm so happy your son is doing so well and hope my son has that good of an outcome. Thank you, you truly made me happy.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    That was my goal. My son is my inspiratipn too. We adopted him attwo and he was bornwith crack in his system. We were not given much hope for him but we saw his special heart and intelligence in his eyes anddecided to give him every tool to go as far as he could, although we did not know how far that would be. We were never in denial. We were very proactive, even before we knew exactly what was going on.

    If my little man, now big man, an do it so can your kiddo. Autism is not as serious or hopeless as the old days when nobody understood what Occupational Therapist (OT) was/is. Be brave and evaluate your son. Be a hero;)
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hi and Welcome! We might as a moderator to move this to the Parents Emeritus or General forum where you would get more responses. This section is sometimes a little slower.

    I know you are scared for his future, but it can be a bright and wonderful place. My son is 25 and he has Asperger's. He talks to himself because then he knows he will get an answer that makes at least some sense. "You just never know what nonsense will come out of someone else's mouth Mom. Look what Jess says!" (Can you tell we have had this discussion more than a few times?)

    At the current time, my son works full time as a department manager at a local grocery store. He is well known and liked there. He has his own apartment and a decent social life. He has rebuilt his relationships with his siblings and is a sweet and loving son. It took a lot of hard work to get to this point, but it was well worth it.

    Your son may need some help, but that is okay. Not all of it comes from pills. The help that does come from pills can be done with more input from him, so he feels he is in more control. For some types of medication there are dna tests to tell yo which medications are most likely to work. That can be incredibly helpful. That is mostly for antidepressants, I believe, but it is helpful.

    I think many autistics often cops with minimal amounts of medication. My son does need medication. He feels more like himself on his medication, but we worked together to find the right combination for him.
  7. DadInProgress

    DadInProgress Member

    This is typical with ADD/ADHD which is increasingly being considered a very mild form of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), based on the symptoms.

    It’s also a sign it great intelligence.

    These kids are always adapting. Making life work for them. Talking through the jumbled up mental thoughts can help a lot.

    Before I was diagnosed ADHD, I would walk with ear buds in, and talk through conversations and thoughts to better manage.

    An assessment is always the first step...
  8. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Goodness me, I still talk to myself on occasion. LOL! :)
  9. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    My Mom verbalized out loud when she was doing her housework. I do it too. Google talking to yourself. There are some interesting articles!
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My son is high functioning autism. He talks to himself when doing tasks. It helps him to think clearly.

    Now a child/teen who is talking to people who are not really there and about nonsense is different than talking about what you are doing. This could be psychosis. Once I was in a psychiatric hospital for ten weeks and I saw people who were psychotic. These are two very different but possible reasons.

    In my opinion it is always smart to have a professional evaluation. I prefer highly trained neuropsychologist (psychologists with extra training in the brain). It is hard for parents to be neutral and diagnose their own kids. We always hope the problem is the least serious but we can be wrong and stop them from getting much needed help.Without the interventions my son had, he would not be the sweet, self supporting 24 year old he is today. To me it is worth it.

    Have a great day!!
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2018
  11. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    Yep, me, too. I find I tend to talk to myself, nothing ongoing or anything, and not all the time, when planning-out my step when tackling a busy day.
  12. DadInProgress

    DadInProgress Member

    by the way didn’t mean to associate with add or autism; was responding to earlier comment in thread.

    Yep talking to yourself is normal and healthy.
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Most autistics also have ADHD. No biggie.
  14. Pink Elephant

    Pink Elephant Well-Known Member

    All is well. :)
  15. Smithmom

    Smithmom Active Member

    Aside from the talking problem I think you are suggesting that you are worried about his future. Mine is 23, graduated HS at 22. The HS should be providing "transition services" to help with his future. This would mean helping you and him develop a plan for his future including housing, post HS education, job, etc. Its part of the IEP process to set a direction. Your state Voc Rehab can also provide help.