College Round 3

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Apr 30, 2009.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well board aunties.............

    Travis is attempting college again. This makes 3 yrs in a row. Maybe the third time is a charm? lol

    I am a mean cold hearted Mom. I do nothing......nothing to help with this process except to help with the occasional words of advice if asked. "Cold hearted and mean" because I'm determined he has to follow the same rules his sisters did about college. If he wants to go, he has to handle all of the necessary process himself. (of course he can ask for help and questions ect)

    First try he got his FASFA filled out by easy child. A rush job, but he got it in under the wire to start in fall. Except he never applied to the college he wanted to go to or anything else. *sigh* Although we did have to chuckle at him because it never dawned on him you have to be accepted by the school so FASFA has somewhere to send the funds.

    Second try didn't even make it that far. All he did was gather information. And then we heard no more about it.

    He's been talking about it for months. He applied at the college he wants to attend. He went and got a copy of his transcript. He made sure they got it. He's kept in communication with them via email. He's even gotten the form from work to let him take an acedemic leave of absense.:surprise: Travis has been axiously waiting their response.

    He got accepted!! :D

    We just found out today. So now easy child will help him with his FASFA. I quietly reminded him that he needs a copy of his IEP for the disability office and to contact them about having someone live with him in the dorm. The first orientation is in July, and he has already applied for a dorm.

    Travis has never gotten this far before. easy child and I will probably be the ones to take him to the orientation. And I did tell him he may want easy child to help him speak with the disability office because she knows the college already, and I am clueless with this on a college level.

    Sooooooooo I guess we'll see. Who knows? I may truly have an empty nest come September. OMG what would I do with myself. :rofl:

    Of course........he may get there and find himself in waaaaay over his head. But we'll deal with that if and when it happens. He's got to get there first.

    This is an awesome college geared/designed for disabled students, as well as "normal" students. They will bend over backward to help a disabled student succeed and to accomodate their needs.

    And still, I know it may turn out to be too much for him. Even if they assign him a personal aide to live with him and go to all classes with him. But I figure if he wants to go bad enough to do all the work involved himself.....then he will be more likely to succeed or at least give it his all while he is there if he goes.

    I've discovered a side effect of this........Just having to do the process is making him feel/act more "grown up".
  2. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    Sounds like he's made progress. Hope you really will get to have your empty nest in the Fall! I'm going to have one too with difficult child 2/easy child going on her gap year to India. Now she is worried that the possible flu pandemic will mess up her travel plans.

    I liked your insight that just having to do the process has made him feel more grown up--I need to keep that in mind with my dtr. It's so easy for me to step in and make calls or send emails or do research for her--I need to let her do it herself.

    Great update! Sounds like you are very realistic about the whole thing--hoping it works but knowing it may not.

  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Good for him! Even if the 3rd time isn't a charm, he keeps trying, which more than most of us can say about ours, hmmm?

    I'm also happy to see a mom back off and allow the adult child to figure it out on their own, so all the leg work involved, etc. Way to go Lisa! After difficult child failed the phlebotomy program and they offered for her to take it again at half price...and she declined...that is when I realized that I must completely back off in that area. I was working harder than she was to make it happen. Why do all that work if she wasn't willing to be involved in her own future success?

    Anyway, keeping a strong thought for Travis! I hope it all pans out this time.
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Fingers crossed, Lisa!

  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Keeping good thoughts for Travis!
  6. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Who would provide an aide and pay for it? I am curious because my difficult child tried one semester at community college and dropped out. If someone could provide an aide to keep him on track, that would be great.
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    The college provides the aide. They are fellow students who are going to school for that sort of thing. As far as I know, this is the only college that does this. There may be others.......but I haven't heard of any. Other colleges provide services for the disabled, but not as extensive as this one does.

    The aide will not only bunk with him in the dorm, but see to it he gets to classes, has his modifications in place and is using them, is doing and has help with assignments, ect.

    I know of two other students similar to Travis who attend and these are the services provided to meet their needs. Now easy child and Travis have to speak with the disabilities office at the college to see about how one gets it put into place.

    I can PM you with the name of the college if you'd like.

  8. ML

    ML Guest

    Way cool Travis! This board auntie is very proud. You can do this! DL you have every reason to feel proud and hopeful. ML
  9. habibi

    habibi New Member

    Please PM me the name of the college. Many thanks!
  10. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    What wonderful news. I'm cheering for him to find success. Hope he asks for help before he feels overwhelmed.
    Many hugs to sweet Travis.