counting my blessings

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by antsmom, May 4, 2007.

  1. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I noticed lately I have been so negative that I decided I needed to list my blessings about ant:

    I am thankful he is out of jail for about 8 months.
    I am thankful he doesnt live with me.
    I am thankful he works every day with boyfriend and they get along.
    I am thankful I took Kaleb home and got danielle to promise not to send him to ant til I see a sober ant.
    I am thankful I dont see ant drunk.
    I am thankful I have not met the girl who moved in with him two days ago-the night they met at the convenience store he walked to.
    I am thankful I have not seen the sucker bites on their necks that boyfriend saw. :smile:
    I am thankful I dont know B-the girl he left two weeks ago in the middle of the night...esp since she says she may be pregnant. :nonono:
    I am thankful I have caller ID.
    I am thankful I have not seen ant's apartment or new location.

    so much to be thankful for. :rolleyes:
  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Some of those are truley things to be thankful for, BUT, I think in order for you to really feel better about things, you need to not be thankful for the negative things you haven't seen, only the positive things that can really make your heart feel better.

    I am thankful he is out of jail for about 8 months.
    I am thankful he doesnt live with me.
    I am thankful he works every day with boyfriend and they get along.
    I am thankful I took Kaleb home and got danielle to promise not to send him to ant til I see a sober ant.
    I am thankful I dont see ant drunk.
    I am thankful I have caller ID.

    I have eliminated the few that I think you should try and forget about. Hope you don't mind :smile: :smile:
  3. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    Karen, I was being tongue in I am truly thankful for the "progress" he has made...or that I have made in detachment. :wink:

  4. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I thought you were, but I just wanted to make sure :smile:
  5. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I guess when the sarcasm disappears I will have truly detached!
    I was able to tell him yesterday that I was proud of him. he has agreed not to go get Kaleb for a while and will pay Danielle some child support instead.

    I hate his Jerry Springer lifestyle-it is disgusting. If he impregnates anyone else, I do not want involved with the child at all. that is the true heartbreak of his choices.
  6. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I know exactly what you mean. That is my biggest fear that D.J. found out wingnuts baby isn't his, but he will continue to see her and get her pregnant. That to me would be the true kicker!!! then I would completeley detatch myself from his life.
  7. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    thing is, Karen, ant will not wear protection at all! he is sexually active with anyone and everyone. the guy he works with has 4 kids to 3 women. these guys are paying child support up the wazzoo and you would think they would not want to procreate more! it is not like they are truly going to be a parent to a child.

    I wish ant would get a vasectomy.
  8. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I totally agree. I wonder now if D.J. is capable of getting someone pregnant? And I would be perfectly fine if he wasn't ever to give me a grandchild. He admits that him and wingnut had unprotected sex for years and she never got pregnant until she slept with somebody else. Maybe someday down the road I'll feel differently, but I don't think he should bring children into this world and I would be relieved to find out he couldn't.

    The only difference I think between him and Ant, is that D.J. was actually freaking out at the thought of paying child support, and Ant doesn't seem to be worried about it, so maybe D.J. will think twice now about using protection.
  9. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    karen, kaleb is over three yrs old. ant has not paid one cent. Kaleb is in the welfare system because ant was in jail most of his life. ant was trying to take kaleb for a week or so a month so he would not have to pay. he resents paying. they have no court order for custody. danielle told him he can give her 20 dollars a week. how stupid! the welfare system should seek out the father and demand he put his money in to support the child, not simply support the child thru the system.

    I am thankful (once again) that Kaleb is provided for somehow. this is not what I want for him though.

    oh well, like ant told me the other day "mom I am just telling you what I am doing, you dont have a say in it"

    zip and throw away the key {------}
  10. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    As the mom of a female difficult child who has been pregnant and miscarried 3 times by the same jerk I feel the same. I hope she is not able to carry a baby since she seems not to be using birth control. I hope one day I will feel differently and that she will be able to have a baby but who knows? I haven't heard from her for about 10 days now (a record) since I told her I would keep the rat. In a way it is a relief but I do worry about her.

  11. judi

    judi Active Member

    I have to add to my thankful list:

    I am thankful difficult child doesn't have a phone - I can't call him.
    I am so thankful for my beautiful grandson and his sister (step-grand-daughter but treated the same)
    I am thankful that I am financially able to help provide for these precious children.
  12. Ally

    Ally New Member

    Im also going to add:

    Im thankful that my last visit with my difficult child was the best in as long as I can remember.
    Im thankful that she seems like she might finally be getting it.
    Im thankful that she has finally agreed that living with her dad is the best thing for her at the moment.
    Im thankful to have a supportive partner in life.
  13. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    You all are amazing.

    I am going to have to work up a list of thankful fors where difficult child is concerned.

    I do gratitude journaling, but never surrounding the issues I have with difficult child. I did not even realize that was how I was doing it until I read this post.

    It's like the difficult child thing is out there all on its own and I am afraid to look at it too closely.

    I wonder whether I have the courage to ferret out what I might be grateful for in the situation with difficult child?

    Does it have to do with the choice to heal, do you think? No, that's not what I meant. I meant that there seems to be such determination to heal in your posts.


  14. Jen

    Jen New Member

    Just love those thankful statements.