F
Frazzledmom
Guest
So I'll try to make this short. difficult child went to FL for four days for a skateboard competition. Everything leading up to the trip went fine except he did NOTHING to earn any spending money and the expectation was that we would just provide it all. The entitlement with this kid is just amazing to behold. That was our fault too, we have such a hard time setting boundaries (the rule for this trip was he had to be in school and living at home to go - the hard part was that we bought the plane tickets BEFORE he went downhill). Of course, the day after he got back he skipped school (I'm too tired!). And from there on it's been pretty much - you're not the boss of me, I can do anything I want, no one messes with me (even as I write these words it's hard to believe it's my own child!) He can be funny, engaging, appreciative but we are just always on tip toe!! Grades are awful, he doesn't see the point of school - except for the social. He IS hanging around with great kids. All age appropriate and supervised.
So this morning he and husband are going skiing for the day. Our approach is that the time spent in the car is well worth the money - any way we can engage him, be with him, we go for it. On the WAY OUT THE DOOR we say grab your helmet - I'm not wearing my helmet - then we are not paying for your ticket - fine I'll hitchhike and off he goes. Right now he's hitchhiking up to the mountain. The frustrating thing is that he'll probably make it and have a great day skiing.
What now? We're thinking of saying that if he can do what he wants then he can pay for what he wants. Not one more cent out of us. We could call the police but they would not do anything. Hitchhiking around here is not illegal and like I said, he'll proabably do fine.
I am so far beyond exasperated. Our family is so much healthier when he is not here. Away from our home he is a model child behavior-wise, it's only around us that he flips out and he's been like this for 15 years. Should we be finding a different place for him to live? What is the best way to help him become a productive adult? Our family dynamics are a mess. ANYONE else would say he's going to be fine. I can't see that's he's going to be able to survive more than a week on his own. Why such a disparity??
I know I'll find wisdome here. Thanks.
So this morning he and husband are going skiing for the day. Our approach is that the time spent in the car is well worth the money - any way we can engage him, be with him, we go for it. On the WAY OUT THE DOOR we say grab your helmet - I'm not wearing my helmet - then we are not paying for your ticket - fine I'll hitchhike and off he goes. Right now he's hitchhiking up to the mountain. The frustrating thing is that he'll probably make it and have a great day skiing.
What now? We're thinking of saying that if he can do what he wants then he can pay for what he wants. Not one more cent out of us. We could call the police but they would not do anything. Hitchhiking around here is not illegal and like I said, he'll proabably do fine.
I am so far beyond exasperated. Our family is so much healthier when he is not here. Away from our home he is a model child behavior-wise, it's only around us that he flips out and he's been like this for 15 years. Should we be finding a different place for him to live? What is the best way to help him become a productive adult? Our family dynamics are a mess. ANYONE else would say he's going to be fine. I can't see that's he's going to be able to survive more than a week on his own. Why such a disparity??
I know I'll find wisdome here. Thanks.