After I found out my son got in trouble with the law for the 4th time, I changed the locks (again) and told him I was fed up, disappointed, disgusted, betrayed and I did not want a relationship until he grew up, got a job or enrolled in school. He was living with me and taking advantage of me, disrespecting me, not following my rules. I told him no drugs or drug paraphernalia in my home, no inviting friends over when I was at work, must pay me rent of $150 a month. He continued to bring in pot, pipes, pills, invite his friends over during the day to "dab" and smoke pot. I surprised him and a buddy when I came home early for lunch and before I opened my door I could smell the skunk weed smell. Walked in and he and buddy where in his room high, his buddy wouldn't even look at me, I told them both to leave. Of course he denied smoking anything. Week before last he showed up with a new haircut, all nice, neat and trimmed up. He looked good. I was glad he got rid of that mess on his head that was all in his face. He bought some new clothes and said he was headed out of town to visit his girlfriend for a couple of days. Come to find out, he cleaned himself up because he had to appear in court for a recent run in with the law for driving without a license/insurance and possession of drug paraphernalia. He paid over $600 for all three charges. I found out because I have access to his bank account and can see all of his transactions. The $600 payment to Guadalupe County Courthouse got my attention. I went to their website, entered his name under criminal records search and there he was with those three charges. He was driving his girlfriend's mom's car and got pulled over. Shortly before that charge his bank account showed he spent $200 at a smoke shop. So he bought his pipes or bongs or whatever, drove like an idiot and got pulled over and cops must have done a search. I still don't know the whole story. Finding out about this killed me. I thought he got a haircut & new clothes because he was cleaning himself up for once and wanted to finally look presentable and not like a bum on the street. Wishful thinking - he did it for his court appearance. My son is living off an inheritance he got recently from his late father's side of the family. In a matter of a month he has blown over $10k after paying off his uncle, cell phone bill, credit card bills, etc. He is withdrawing hundreds daily, spending it on food, Uber car rides, smoke shops, clubs, and now since I kicked him out he is buying clothes at resale shops (instead of asking me to pack up his clothes for him to pick up). I kicked him out and screamed at him over the phone that he was never going to disrespect me again and how disgusted I was with him draining his inheritance (that was supposed to help him buy a new car and get his life on track). He hung up on me. He stayed out of town at his girlfriends since I discovered his court date and charges. It's been over a week and he has been in Austin with other friends. Made no attempts to contact me. He is just draining the remaining $20K he has on crap. I want to call his uncle and tell him they should hold the rest of his inheritance (he is supposed to get more in 6 mos.) because he can't control his spending, isn't acting responsible and his life is centered around pot/drugs and partying. Should I just stay out of it, let him continue on this path and let him blow all that money? He refused to pay me $150/mo. in rent yet can blow $200 at smoke shops. Living with me all I did was do his laundry (because I didn't want him screwing up the washing machine). I didn't provide food (he had to get his own) and I didn't clean his room (he never cleaned it - it's gross). I went thru his room and threw a bunch of crap away, torn down his pot posters, trashed pot pipes and bongs, small bags of leftover pot, and then just walked out and closed his door. He left his laptop, suitcase and clothes so he wasn't planning on being gone long but I told him not to come back until he had a job or was in school. I also told him I told our neighborhood Constable about him and if he tried coming back while I wasn't home he would be arrested (I didn't but I wanted to scare him at the time because I was so angry). Locks are changed, he has no key, and he can't break in. In his mind I'm blowing this all out of proportion, his recent charges won't go on his record (funny but if I found it online - it's on his record for the rest of the world to see). My son became a pothead shortly after he graduated high school. He wrecked the car I gave him, couldn't keep a job more than a month or two, ended up being arrested and in jail 3 times, I supported him and bailed him out all three times. Now he has screwed up again but didn't tell me, he thinks I'm delusional and blowing it all out of proportion. Last time he came back home I told him only if he respected me and followed me rules. He betrayed me. It's the most hurtful feeling in the world to know my only family, my son, could care less about his own mother and after devoting my life to him for 23 years this is what I get in return. I lost my husband, parents and brothers, and now I'm losing my son to drugs. I'm crushed and heartbroken but trying so hard to "detach" and create a life of my own (as everyone on here has recommended). I'm so scared I will get a call that he has overdosed or been in a serious car accident or thrown in jail for something serious. I do not understand how he can not see that he is ruining his life. I've talked to him so many times but he ignored me. His goal in life right now seems to get high, hang out with friends, party all night and repeat that day after day. Wasting thousands, treating me like ****, thinking a long rap sheet of misdemeanor pot & paraphernalia possession charges are no big deal. He will never get a decent job (he is almost 24 with no steady work history and a criminal history). He will never pass a drug test or stop smoking long enough to keep pot out of his system. I fear for his life. If I lose him I don't know if I'd be able to go on. I've been thru enough. I'm trying to stay strong but to have loved my son more than life and lived my life for him only to face this at an age he and I should be friends and enjoying life... I'm distraught. Do I keep staying detached? I screamed at him and told him he destroyed our relationship... I've always been the bigger person and reached out to him but I'm trying to make him realize his mother is fed up and can't do this anymore so I'm not contacting him. He is ok - he is partying, hanging out at the river with friends, having a good ol time (Instagram) and obviously not worrying about me. I think he is heavily into weed and pills, he and his girlfriend have done WhipIts so who knows what all they are doing. I just pray it's not meth or heroin. I'm going to start boxing up his room and bagging his clothes. He is either too scared to call me or he is trying to show me he doesn't need his clothes, laptop, since he has money he can buy new stuff. I am trying not to worry but it's so hard.