husband and I met with-the principal and difficult child's teacher last wk. Our original plan was merely to give them the results of difficult child's testing. The test results still are not typed up, however so we just told them what we knew. And they had their own paperwork prepared. Turns out that difficult child has a D average in every, single class. They said he has totally given up, and doesn't care about consequences, or at least, being sent to the principal's ofc to sign a contract and get a lecture. Which one of you wrote a note similar to this, and I said that when our difficult child pulled this a cpl yrs ago, we held him back? Anyway, they said holding him back is not an option. He's got the talent and intelligence. We just have to figure out a way to move him along. So, the prinicipal is going to haul him in on Mon. and show him the contract he signed, and remind hiim that he has not fulfilled one single item on it. (Generally, regular assignments.) She will use that to tell him he now has in-school suspension and will be pulled from class beginning Tues., to work in a rm, alone, on his classwork and homework until he is up to speed. She thinks it will take two days. We are also supposed to pick him up in carpool and not leave him in AfterCare, which served him well last yr--he always did his homework with-his friends right after school. Now he says he doesn't have any homework (lies outright), and ignores everyone while they do their homework. The principal thought that removing him from that situation, since he is suddenly so social this yr, would be a good idea. She and the teacher said he is respectful and talkative in school, and asked what he's like at home. We said he is extremely defiant. She said she had seen us out the window one day when I picked him up from the playground, and saw how he went after me, and she almost flew through the window to talk to him. "Is there some ODD there?" she asked. ROFL!!! I was so relieved that someone else witnessed it. You know how sometimes you think you're going crazy and no one believes that this kid can turn on you in an instant? (I'm guessing he shoved his backpack at me to get me to carry it, and got in my face and yelled but frankly, he's such a brat so often, I can't recall the exact day she witnessed this.) Anyway, she and the teacher suggested that he is exhibiting ODD at school in a more passive/aggressive sort of way, by not doing his work. That way, he can "prove" that he is in control. It is clear that he doesn't give a whit for social conventions and is not held to "normal" standards of behavior. We told them that it works well when we reward him with-small, childish things like computer time and Reese's Peanut Butter cups. She suggested that we offer something bigger ea time he completes an assignment early, and in particular, a larger project, like a book report. He's got a book rept outline to do next wk and we want him to do it this weekend. So far, we have not been successful. She pointed out that stretching out rewards to 6 wks will not work for him. She knew all of this just because of her education background and experience with-kids. It took me yrs of trial and error to figure it out! husband and I spoke with-difficult child about our mtng and told him that a D average is not acceptable. He said those were old grades and his new grades this wk were better. Yeah, right. This weekend, I got him to peel all the wallpaper off of the DR wall for me (fingernail, icky paste peelilng) in return for computer time. (He's got a medieval game where he has to build villages. It's a rental and we're returning it soon.) He also earned computer time for helping me put up the Christmas tree. (It was way too heavy for me.) And he earned the privilege of lighthing a fire in the fireplace and tending it while I put ornaments on the tree. One step at a time.