Daughter 18 BiPolar, Internet addiction

zoey1962

New Member
Hello new to the thread,
We are hoping to get some answers from anyone who may have experienced a similar situation. Our daughter turned 18 in February. She has a history of Bi-Polar, ADHD, oppositional defiance and border line personality disorders. She has been self harming as well for several years. We have spent ten's of thousands on facilities for 60-90 days, multiple hospitalizations 5-7 days followed by behavioral centers, psychiatrists and therapists with little results. She has no friends as she has issues getting a long with people. Her only friends are those online. She seeks out every wrong site, or group that is questionable. She wants to be accepted by the wrong people. She uses social media as a stage. I had to take her iphone away again due to inappropriate behavior online .. if she has the phone and computer she is happy and stays in her room in bed all day online, hygiene poor and overeats. if we take a way the devices she cuts herself etc. Also now that she is 18 she says she has rights.. etc. People online tell her she is of course correct and we are wrong. She will do nothing or go outside and just wants to stay in her room will not work, does go to school but rarely a full week. She is a senior in an EBD program barely making it through she will not graduate this year hopefully next. We do not know what to do anymore or how to move her forward. She is also not pleasant, swears etc and is generally ungrateful for anything we have done or try do to help.
 

BloodiedButUnbowed

Well-Known Member
Hi there,

Wow, you have a lot on your plate and you are definitely in the right place. Unfortunately it sounds like your daughter will not be successful living at home and there is no way from what you write that she is ready to live independently.

She is correct, she is a legal adult at 18 years of age regardless of her emotional condition. She does indeed have rights and you can not force her to do anything. At the same time, since she is a legal adult, you can evict her from your home and allow her to fend for herself. It goes both ways. The question is whether or not you are ready to take this step. You can help her apply for adult services if you wish.

If she is still in high school and has an IEP I would contact her case manager and request that they coordinate a meeting with the department of rehabilitative services in your area, they will evaluate her and hopefully help identify a group home/transitional living setting for her as it is clear she really cannot manage daily routines independently. Best case scenario is this step would have been taken at minimum last year, but sometimes for whatever reason things do not proceed on time.

With her history she should apply for SSI disability payments based on her mental illness. I am sorry she has not responded to treatment. She is who she is and you cannot change her, the only thing you can change is your response to her behavior.

Best of luck and please stick around.
 

zoey1962

New Member
Thank you, I did not realize IEP team could help with coordination of post HS services. I am going to seek out an attorney to help with SSI etc. I understand its a lengthy process.
 
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