Hello all, this is my first post, my daughter has just turned 18, she has been dating her boyfriend for 6 months and to say he is awful is an understatement.
I am so worried for my daughter, having said that though I know she is responsible for some things that are going on, as they say, I wasn't born yesterday!
Trying not to make this a novel but there are so many things, this guy does come from an abusive background, both parents on meth and they threw him out last year, but.....he is on probation for drugs and fighting a teacher in high school, he steals, he lies, have caught him in numerous lies myself, my daughter is under the impression he just can't get a break...he roams around from friend to friend, he stayed with us for 2 months because he was on the streets, big mistake, he stole from us, would not find a job..on and on...my daughter actually stuck up for him, said he didn't steal...um, yes he did..
My daughter works part-time and pays for everything he needs, he cannot even come up with $1 for gas, I know it's her money but this is killing me, she had plans to go to college but decided not to because of him, I tried to talk to her about that but she got defensive so I backed off at the time, everytime I mention it she gets angry and says I'm interfering, well.......while she is here with me I'm not going to stand back because I'm afraid of hurting her feelings, I told her i only want the best for her and that's why I'm saying it.
She was using my car to go to work but the other night I found the drivers seat pushed way back...this guy is 6ft 2, my daughter is not...he has no drivers license because of DUI's...my daughter lied...I know she lied to me...and said "Oh, he was just sitting in the drivers seat waiting for someone.." what! next story was she let him drive around a parking lot, so why was the seat pushedback in my driveway??? this is ridiculous...I hate that she is lying to me about all kinds of things, told her she cannot use my car anymore and she ran out the door to go see him...aghhh!!!! not seen her since last night.
My daughter just does not care about anything except this person, I've told her how I feel and then backed off about him, I feel as though I am losing her but I cannot put up with all the lies, whenever I see this guy he says nothing, just grins at me which almost sends me wild! I have banned him from our house, I just cannot pretend i like him, can't do it.
I am at a complete loss as to what to do, not say anything anymore? Of course if it's about my car etc I have to, she wants to move out with him but he has no money, I just feel this is going to get out of hand..already is really...but what I mean is I feel this guy is going to do something, he is so violent, he is so possessive of her, calls her ALL the time, all night... am afraid for her but she is not seeing it.
Her dad is livid and has tried talking to her as well, we feel..ok, let her learn but the thing is he is violent, I can't just stand back and wait for something to happen, I honestly feel if my daughter does see the light he will not let her go, he'll do something to her, (and us) he told her he will commit suicide if she leaves him, he said he loved her after two dates and that he has tried to commit suicide three times....has been in numerous mental hospitals...my husband is going to talk to the police but not sure if anything can be done, this is not just a case of we don't like our daughters boyfriend, I goes much deeper, our daughter is so kind and I think she believes she is going to save him, her life is on hold right now, I'm going crazy with it all, sorry this is so long.
PS Once he's off probation, god only knows what he's going to get up to, we were going to get in touch with his probation officer to tell him of the stealing, my husbands view is, let them get him off the streets and right in to the "slammer"
I am so worried for my daughter, having said that though I know she is responsible for some things that are going on, as they say, I wasn't born yesterday!
Trying not to make this a novel but there are so many things, this guy does come from an abusive background, both parents on meth and they threw him out last year, but.....he is on probation for drugs and fighting a teacher in high school, he steals, he lies, have caught him in numerous lies myself, my daughter is under the impression he just can't get a break...he roams around from friend to friend, he stayed with us for 2 months because he was on the streets, big mistake, he stole from us, would not find a job..on and on...my daughter actually stuck up for him, said he didn't steal...um, yes he did..
My daughter works part-time and pays for everything he needs, he cannot even come up with $1 for gas, I know it's her money but this is killing me, she had plans to go to college but decided not to because of him, I tried to talk to her about that but she got defensive so I backed off at the time, everytime I mention it she gets angry and says I'm interfering, well.......while she is here with me I'm not going to stand back because I'm afraid of hurting her feelings, I told her i only want the best for her and that's why I'm saying it.
She was using my car to go to work but the other night I found the drivers seat pushed way back...this guy is 6ft 2, my daughter is not...he has no drivers license because of DUI's...my daughter lied...I know she lied to me...and said "Oh, he was just sitting in the drivers seat waiting for someone.." what! next story was she let him drive around a parking lot, so why was the seat pushedback in my driveway??? this is ridiculous...I hate that she is lying to me about all kinds of things, told her she cannot use my car anymore and she ran out the door to go see him...aghhh!!!! not seen her since last night.
My daughter just does not care about anything except this person, I've told her how I feel and then backed off about him, I feel as though I am losing her but I cannot put up with all the lies, whenever I see this guy he says nothing, just grins at me which almost sends me wild! I have banned him from our house, I just cannot pretend i like him, can't do it.
I am at a complete loss as to what to do, not say anything anymore? Of course if it's about my car etc I have to, she wants to move out with him but he has no money, I just feel this is going to get out of hand..already is really...but what I mean is I feel this guy is going to do something, he is so violent, he is so possessive of her, calls her ALL the time, all night... am afraid for her but she is not seeing it.
Her dad is livid and has tried talking to her as well, we feel..ok, let her learn but the thing is he is violent, I can't just stand back and wait for something to happen, I honestly feel if my daughter does see the light he will not let her go, he'll do something to her, (and us) he told her he will commit suicide if she leaves him, he said he loved her after two dates and that he has tried to commit suicide three times....has been in numerous mental hospitals...my husband is going to talk to the police but not sure if anything can be done, this is not just a case of we don't like our daughters boyfriend, I goes much deeper, our daughter is so kind and I think she believes she is going to save him, her life is on hold right now, I'm going crazy with it all, sorry this is so long.
PS Once he's off probation, god only knows what he's going to get up to, we were going to get in touch with his probation officer to tell him of the stealing, my husbands view is, let them get him off the streets and right in to the "slammer"