Depression and Cleaning

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Coralchet1, Aug 12, 2017.

  1. Coralchet1

    Coralchet1 Member

    Hi,

    I've been going through the site wondering where to post this, so if I'm in the wrong spot forgive me, lol...it's a big site!

    Would like to talk about depression and how it's crippled me here at home to the point I don't care about cleaning. I think about doing it, but then p, I say fk it! I haven't allowed anyone in my home now for a few years because,
    1- there's more broken things in my home than I can count
    2 - I hate judgements of others
    3- it's not clean anymore
    The thing that gets me is that I'm a cleaner by trade, the places I clean are spotless, beautiful, inviting places to be in. The difference in my mindset in those places is there's nothing broken it's not a disappointment to be there. In my home I hate it, because I have a violent person here that just destroys what ever I make good. I'm making changes in that part tho...
    In the end I'm still having to fix this place and I'm on my own and don't have the tools, or the smarts to know how to fix most of this, never mind the funds that's needed as well. I'm an isolater other than going to work, but due to my traumas ( depression, ptsd) I'm currently unemployed. So, I sit in this mess wondering - wow, how'd it get so bad?
    There are easy solutions to every situation:
    1- I can hit the habitat store, slowly buying what I need
    2- get the tools I need
    3- ask for help that's needed to fix these things
    The hard part is actually letting someone in the home without the judgements.

    I don't know if anyone else goes through this, but it's awful and I hate how things got and there's so much more to why life is this way..I often get scared that I'm giving up and the giving up started years ago.
    This is where I am today..I need to stay focussed and make a plan to get busy with this place!
     
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    It's a vicious circle...I am depressed and don't have energy to keep up with the house...the house is depressing me and seems overwhelming.

    A hood site for motivation to declutter and clean... Flylady.net. At least I think that is it. Google Flylady. She sends out daily "missions" with the first one being, clean out your kitchen sink. Also, get up and get dressed, including shoes each morning. It really does send a mental message to self that you have a job to do. And it reminds me that I don't have to lie down for a break. Set a timer and try to do 15 minutes at a time.

    Don't let everything that needs to be done keep you from doing anything! Good luck!

    Ksm
     
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  3. Coralchet1

    Coralchet1 Member

    I love the flylady website! I tend to read it more than taking action...
     
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  4. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Just try it... Baby steps...it works... Don't jump in and try to do too much. Small goals... Ksm
     
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  5. seek

    seek Member

    Can you pay someone to clean for you and maybe pay a personal assistant by the hour to support you in figuring out what to do with the broken stuff, etc.?

    Feng Shui is very important to your mental health (my belief).

    You will feel better when your house is clean. It's just a fact.
     
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm another one who won't let anyone in the house. It's a wreck. But I'm working on it. Slowly.
     
  7. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Not one person did I let in my house for over five years. My house is better now but nowhere near perfect. Had my daughters graduation party here a couple months ago. As we speak I am laying in bed looking at a closet so stuffed the closet doors totally fell off today. I don't even use none of that stuff. I really want it cleaned and I have talked myself into committing to taking five items everyday and getting it to the trash or goodwill. I want to hang my clothes up and be a regular person, lol whatever that is. Just write down what you think you can mentally and physically do each day. One day at a time. Garbage day is Thursday morning, and I should have a bunch of stuff out to the curb that day. Just started working two jobs so I'm going to take a little of that money and have a hauler come and get some bigger items out the house. You can do it. We can do it. Stay in touch on your post and we'll encourage each other. Hang in there.
     
  8. Coralchet1

    Coralchet1 Member

    The garbage pick up here just went down to two bags only,? I had a hard time keeping it at 3 and now 2... then last week a neighbour put their bag of garbage in my spot, hello? This two bag rule is going to cause neighbour wars, lol...
     
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  9. Coralchet1

    Coralchet1 Member

    I work on mine slowly too, however I'm guessing I'm too slow as it builds up faster than I move.
    Like another posters reply was "We can do it"
     
  10. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I also know that I can't maintain the outside and the inside at the same time, lmao, I just don't have the energy or the discipline, so outside looks great right now, cause its summer, and I love being outside. In the winter people can come and visit and have a bowl of soup, I'm more domestic during winter months.
     
  11. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    A few thoughts....
    I've had issues with mild depression. I thank the ONE above, that I've had very good luck with vitamin supplementation. I surely recognize that this doesn't work for everyone. HOWEVER, I can tell you that a relative recently had major depression. He was able to go on a small dosage of an antidepressant plus vitamins and in short order is doing much better. The vitamins are : A Multi plus extra D3, B6 (low dose), B Complex and a probiotic.

    Cleaning...when I have had mild depression, cleaning was also very difficult. What I would do, is I would make a game out of it. So, for example, I would say to myself "ok, I'm going to pick up six things for now." Then later, do six more.

    I do something similar when I have health problems. I have Lupus and some other health issues that make me very fatigued. If the house is messy, it is frustrating. I'll set the timer for 15 minutes. I'll clean for 15 minutes. Then, I'll rest for 30 minutes. I'll lay down for thirty minutes...set the time for thirty minutes. Then get up and clean for 15 minutes (set the timer) . This should work for depression as well.

    Another thing you might be able to do is find a housekeeper that will work very sporadically. Once a month or even once every other month.

    We have a Difficult Child and I found someone like that for her. She cleans once a month plus washes towels and sheets only. This way I know if our Difficult Child suffers a bad depression, the place wont get too bad for the time being.
     
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  12. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Coralchet, I could have written your post. One would think that the disaster site that is my house would deter Mrs. W the predatory teacher from coming over, but no such luck. Wish she would clean up a little when she comes by.

    I am moving out and the thought of that is giving me panic attacks. Maybe if someone were to hide my favorite candy all over the house I could get motivated.
     
  13. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I let people in, but I apologize every single time. My house is a disaster. Jabber and I aren't depressed...we're just...overwhelmed I think. :unsure: It's that feeling like - there's so much to do that you don't know where to start, so you do nothing. I really would like someone to just come in and literally throw out everything and let me start all over...but I don't have the money to do that. Honestly though, we can't find anything. We have stuff just sitting around we haven't used in ages. Stuff that belongs in the garage is on the dining room table. Stuff that belongs in the bedroom is...well, probably on the dining room table. :(

    I tell people that I just have lived in a construction zone for five years (true) and that I'm sick of it (true) and that I hate the house and want to move and so can't make myself care that it's a disaster (also true). But, in order to move we have to finish the construction and clean! So...catch 22.
     
  14. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Lil,

    The old saying comes to mind, and we say it at work a lot.

    How do you eat an elephant?

    One bite at a time.

    One item of the table, just one
     
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  15. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    To get back on Coralchet1's point...this so rings true. When there is something about your house you hate, like broken things, you don't CARE what the house looks like. My house has never been neat, but my son's issues made it worse, I'm sure. Specifically his door to his room that was riddled with fist-sized holes. I hated that door. I hated to walk down the hall past that door. In turn, I hated the hall and the bathroom across from that door. Why have a nice house with THAT staring you in the face? When he moved out, it took a while, but Jabber and I finally replaced that door. We took the old one out back, broke it into pieces and tried to burn it. Turns out, they make interior doors really fireproof...so we put it in trash, but we TRIED to burn it!

    We let son move back after his apartment fire and...he punched his door. I just about lost my MIND! Really - that was the beginning of the end for me. Jabber had to stop me because I was about to do violence, I swear...at least verbally. I still remember the fight. I told him to leave. He threatened suicide. I threatened the psychiatric ward and 5 point restraints. It was ugly.

    So now we have a door with a fist-sized hole. Again. He's been gone nearly a year and it's still there. But at least it's only one hole and in the dark hall I almost forget it's there. Sometimes.

    I have the day off on Friday. I think I'll go buy a door.
     
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  16. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Lil,

    We are having our sons furniture removed and carpet replaced. I guess we can put the door knob back on since he never earned it, it was kind of a joke until he didn't care and apparently did drugs anyway.

    He knows his room will never be his, and then there's the closet, the packed closet....
     
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  17. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    My husband punched a hole in the door and I wrote in sharpie around it: this is love. It's still there. Taunting me.


    My whole family makes jokes about the dining room table. It is clutter central. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.
     
  18. Coralchet1

    Coralchet1 Member

    Well, I can share that starting over from scratch did nothing for me. We lost are home back in 2012 and the kids and I started from scratch in a new place it sure didn't take long to become disorganized again...bigger house equals more things and more space to clutter..
     
  19. Coralchet1

    Coralchet1 Member

    I totally get what your saying...my sons door is up against the wall cause he ripped it off the hinges, plus when I was redueing his room ( fixing and painting, Again) he decided to throw the colours all over the door as well...so I'm constantly looking at that too..
     
  20. Coralchet1

    Coralchet1 Member

    Oh, yes..the dreaded closet!