Did I overstep?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by WiseChoices, Aug 14, 2019.

  1. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Member

    Son (23) had first therapy appointment today. I know the therapist, have seen her before myself, and she can be firm. I am very sensitive. When son comes out, he says she will put him on anti anxiety medications . So I had to say "I don't want highly addictive substances in my home". He immediately gets an attitude which scares me because in the past, he has been cruel to me and I get scared by male anger. I start to get a dry throat, fear all in my chest. So he says "let's go back up and talk to therapist about this ". I felt like it was a bad idea based on what I know about her, but o was all in fear and didn't think properly. In retrospect, I could have waited until he had the prescription because therapist referred him to psychiatrist and it takes a while to get an appointment with psychiatric.

    We go back up and startle therapist a little as she did not expect us back, and I say "Son says you recomended anti aniety medications and we do not allow them in our home". She says " I don't understand. I referred to psychiatrist. They know what to do.". I state that anti anxiety medications are highly addictive and so we don't want them in our house. She then said there were SSIs that also treat anxiety. And I said ok.

    But I felt shame after like I had overstepped. Did I?
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    You have a right to express your opinion. You also have a right to not allow certian things in YOUR home.
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  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    No. I WISH I had done that years ago.

    I probably could have saved our family a lot of ANGUISH.

    My friend is on Citalopram 20 mg and she said it really helps her a lot. Not addictive. It's an SSRI

    Do NOT let your son get anything in the benzodiazepine family. It will bring out evil.
  4. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Member

    Thank you so much for your support! I am breathing fully after your confirmation that I did ok. I am always so worried about doing it wrong and being controlling (one of my worst defects). My daughter was on Klonopin, Xanax, and Ativan. She threatened suicide and said she would do it with the benzos . I am terrified of that stuff. So, sticking to my guns. Not in my house. I did some research today and it's basically all class 2 controlled substances that I will disallow . Makes it easy to remember. Ritalin and Adderal are on that list along with the benzos, and the opiates.
  5. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Member

    Thank you for that! It helps me to feel empowered. I am a little scared of that therapist as she can be very firm and blunt. It's that fear of authority I have as an adult child of an alcoholic. She gave me that look that said I am butting into my son's business , but you are right : I have a right to voice my opinion and call the shots on what happens in my home. And the therapist has the right to judge me for that if she so choses, and to have whatever opinion of me that she wants. In retrospect, I was brave. I did it despite being scared to and that is called courage. Good for me!
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  6. BusynMember

    BusynMember Active Member

    in your house you can ban anything you want to ban.

    I used to hate when Kay smoked in my clean house, and asked her not to but she did it anyway. I was too weak to be firm. So was my husband. We are stronger now. It has been just recently!

    If you don't want cigarettes, pot, or benzos under your roof, I think its absolutely fine to refuse it. Yes, we allowed pot too. We were pathetic, contributing to Kay's bullying of us. I admire you for putting up this boundary. Good for you!
  7. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Member

    Thank you so much, Busy. It means a lot!