Well, what a wild ride it's been. My elder, bipolar son was released from prison in early February and placed in a halfway house in a major city near us. His eye infection was real. He saw the specialist that had treated him for a prior condition and after new treatment said that his eye "came back from the dead". One in a million. We are grateful. He was out for 10 weeks and visited home a several times. He was pleasant and warm. We enjoyed his company and it felt darn good. I kept my guard up as did my hubby. He still seemed a little overconfident as to the type of job he could get, but one thing I've learned through this entire period is "never pass up a good opportunity to keep your mouth shut". And I did. He saw the larger family both sides for Easter. It was a big step for him to see aunts, uncles and cousins that he hadn't seen for 2 years. We went to church. All was fine. and then I got an auto-notification message saying he was back in the state prison. I had just talked to him a couple days before. My husband and I followed up with the halfway house and found out he had a verbal altercation with a couple of other "clients", the director of the program and then his parole officer. He was at fault. First he told someone to shut up. It escalated from there. The profanity he used wouldn't be tolerated anywhere. The director suggested that he may have gone off his medications. I agree. The difference in his behavior is noticeable and would explain the incident. Everyone there, including the director, the parole officer and his cohabitants said it was out of character for him and he had some solid friendships. So D H and I went to get his stuff. He will have to wait up to 2 months to go before the parole board. There were no charges or arrest. The parole officer said the report he will write will be short and dry. The director said that this is going to be a difficult spot for our son because very few halfway houses that handle his medical condition and the assault charge he was arrested for. She said she would not rule out taking him back as he had been no trouble before. It's a damn shame. The last 10 weeks were lovely. There were moments when I found myself happy in a way I used to be when things were humming along in our family and everyone was pursuing their own interests. I am grateful for those moments and know full well that those moments may be all we have for a long time to come. Ok. So here's the kicker. difficult child 1 gets a quick call (they usually have to wait 30 days) to tell us what happened. His dad and I explain we know. We tell him about the parole officer and the possible 2nd chance at the halfway house. I thought he might be contrite, relieved, remorseful. Nope. He said, "I don't know if I want to go back, it's a two way street." He says doesn't want to live among addicts and criminals and ends by saying maybe you and Dad could let him stay with us. He said, "don't answer now, think about it. I have to go and get off the phone." Click. We are stunned. The disrespect and verbal battering we have been put through these last 5 years has been hellish. My overall reaction, keep working my steps, ask myself several times during the day, "Tish, are you enjoying yourself? Is this what you really want to be doing?" If the answer is yes, I'll keep on. If no, I'll stop the offending task and immediately start having fun, relaxing, doing something that has nothing to do with duty or meeting the expectations of others and everything to do with enjoying that very moment in question. I have a way to go but I feel myself getting better. It's work, but it beats the alternative...pain and panic.