T
TeDo
Guest
As most of you know, my kids do school online at home. difficult child 1 has a "child-specific para" in his IEP, which he desparately needs by the way. I am his para to keep him on task and help with comprehension. No problem since I am the only one "that knows how I think". This morning, he needed a math problem explained, no problem. He said "okay, I don't need your help anymore". After about 5 minutes of "working" he comes into the kitchen and says he's still hungry so he makes himself a can of chicken noodle soup and sits at the kitchen table to eat it and then goes back in the other room. After about 5 minutes I go in there to see how he's doing.....he's putting his Lego helicopter back together (5 or 6 pieces had come off). I told him it was time to get back to work and sit next to where he usually sits to work. He yelled "I don't need your help!!" and grabbed his work and went to another room. 10 minutes later he comes into my office and says he is going upstairs to take a shower. I asked how many more math problems he got done and he said "1 because I was thinking". I reminded him that he does NOT get ANY privileges until ALL school work is done and that if he isn't going to work when I am available to help him, he is TOTALLY on his own. He said, I know and went up to take the shower.
Now here is how it will go later (based solely on past behavior.....like yesterday and the day before). He will start to work when I am busy running the errands I have put off until after "school hours". I will remind him that he is on his own and he will complain that he can't do it without my help and I will remind him that I told him he'd be on his own if he waited too long and he can't go play until it's done and that it was his choice to wait until now. He will remind me that he took a shower (personal hygiene) and then I wouldn't help him so it's my fault he can't go play because I won't help him. So I will sit down to help him (putting the errands off until tomorrow) but because he's so worked up, he is not comprehending ANYTHING which is frustrating him more so he'll yell at me again that "I can do this by myself!". Then I will leave and he'll come crying and apologizing and saying he needs my help. In the meantime, I'm not getting anything done, he's pushed beyond his limits, poor difficult child 2 has to listen to it all which makes him angry at difficult child 1, and, worst of all, it is creating a pattern that I somehow have to break.
I CAN'T WIN!! and it is getting VERY old.
Now here is how it will go later (based solely on past behavior.....like yesterday and the day before). He will start to work when I am busy running the errands I have put off until after "school hours". I will remind him that he is on his own and he will complain that he can't do it without my help and I will remind him that I told him he'd be on his own if he waited too long and he can't go play until it's done and that it was his choice to wait until now. He will remind me that he took a shower (personal hygiene) and then I wouldn't help him so it's my fault he can't go play because I won't help him. So I will sit down to help him (putting the errands off until tomorrow) but because he's so worked up, he is not comprehending ANYTHING which is frustrating him more so he'll yell at me again that "I can do this by myself!". Then I will leave and he'll come crying and apologizing and saying he needs my help. In the meantime, I'm not getting anything done, he's pushed beyond his limits, poor difficult child 2 has to listen to it all which makes him angry at difficult child 1, and, worst of all, it is creating a pattern that I somehow have to break.
I CAN'T WIN!! and it is getting VERY old.
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