Honestly I am just a ball of nerves dealing with it all right now. I woke up dreading today and faked a migraine to stay home because I am just so depressed about the whole thing. I guess it is just all adding up right now and it is too much. I will be going to the graduation tonight regardless of how I feel but it all feels wrong. I dont want to sit there with my parents and play nice even though I know it is the adult thing to do. Hell I don't want to stand there and pretend to be happy while she gives the obligatory hug and sticks her hand out for a gift. She hasn't done a thing to get ready for college other than apply and drag us for a visit. Of course she told my parents and brother that we are paying for it all so not to worry. It is one big night of LIES! No one but difficult child and my parents will be there because they want to be. Even easy child wanted to avoid it and tried to get out of it by saying she had a final tomorrow morning and therefore couldn't miss a few hours of school. Today is about her not about me and the least I can do is sit there so that in a year she wont be saying that I didn't show up for the event. How the he!! did this end up this way? I have busted my over the years to give this child a good life. I have sacrificed and cried and bled for this kid and all I get for it is feeling like a piece of **** who had to be "invited" to her own daughters graduation. I could seriously be sitting at home right now with no invitation unable to attend her graduation! BUT I am guessing the need for a gift outweighed her b*itchiness for a change. I literally feel like a failure and I am so depressed about it I don't know what else to do. I should be F'ing happy today! I should be proud of my child. I should be sharing a family dinner with my parents and celebrating her graduation. I should be dreaming about all the things to come. WTF is so wrong with me as a parent that all I want to do is crawl in bed and cry because I feel like I have lost her.