difficult child is in the closet - and says she is doing homework...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ksm, Nov 25, 2011.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    But she is mad at us and just acting stupid and out of control. We have had three good days (no school) with only minor irritations. But this is over the top. On Wed night she wanted to sleep in DFES (Dear Foreign Exchange Student) room we said no - but the last night she asked again. DFES said it was OK so we let her. She only has a full bed, so I know it was probably a little crowded. Then all day today they were together (bowling, movie etc) While watching the movie, difficult child was draped all over her. We would give difficult child little hints about giving DFES some space. But she wouldn't take the hints.

    Then at 9pm, we asked her to do some homework - and she has to go to DFES room to work on it. Since DFES was also doing homework we asked difficult child to do homework in another room. She started yelling that she should just leave the house... and I couldn't help but say there's the door. I am so tired of being yelled at and difficult child being rude to me. husband stopped difficult child from leaving so she took her book and sat in the closet. It is a very TINY closet.

    Finally got her out of the closet and husband had a discussion with the both of them about boundaries. And trying to get DFES to speak up and let difficult child know when she needs her space. difficult child is very needy and doesn't have any real friends to spend time with on her own. So now difficult child is "banished to her room" until bedtime and she is mad that she can't spend more time with DFES tonight. Gee, a whole 20 minutes before bedtime... how cruel of us.

    I don't know what triggers this... probably turning off the TV and asking the girls to read or study. I hate this. Just when you think you are on an even keel... it all falls apart. KSM
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    When you don't have real friends, any kind of a relationship gets blown out of proportion really fast. difficult child comes to depend on it (yes, instantly) because of the emotions it brings... but doesn't have the experience or perspective to cope.

    Its a tough catch-22.
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I agree, it sounds like this is a bit new to her and she doesn't have a clue as to boundaries. Good for your husband for talking to them, but I suspect that DFES is going to need more strength to say "no" when she is actually living in difficult child's house, at least in her mind, Know what I mean??
    You difficult child has some similiar issues to my son. I hear you.
  4. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    In't it odd - that after difficult child spends even a small bit of time with someone - they are BFF's? If we meet a child on vacation, or a new kid at church camp, difficult child is just heart broken to lose her "best" friend. KSM
  5. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    We keep telling DFES that her room is HER ROOM, and she doesn't have to let our two girls hang out there indefinitely. There have been times when difficult child has school or an activity, and DFES and easy child are home by themselves and they get a long great... But if difficult child is here, she monopolizes DFES and tries to keep little sis out of the loop. KSM