difficult child missing more school and stomach problems continue

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Californiablonde, Apr 9, 2013.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    difficult child has been on her Prilosec for a week now for her stomach ulcers. So far it hasn't been helping. She has been having intermittent stomach pain and keeps vomiting on and off. Yesterday I got her to come to school but she went in to the nurses office about fifteen minutes into her first class. She threw up in the nurse's office several times so the nurse sent her home. The school nurse says the Prilosec should have stopped the vomiting by now and suggested I place a call back to the doctor to see about a new medication. Also the nausea pill that difficult child was given doesn't seem to help at all either. So I finally got ahold of the gastroenterologist this morning and she is upping her dose of Prilosec. She is also prescribing a different medication called Zofran for her nausea. So I am hoping it works. My mom has once again over stepped her boundaries by contacting the school nurse and asking her not to send difficult child home when she is vomiting at school. The nurse has already tried to work with me regarding difficult child. Yesterday she kept her in her office for about an hour and let her rest. Then she attempted to send her back to class but difficult child felt sick again, so she returned to the nurse's office and threw up several times. The nurse really had no choice but to send her home. My mom thinks difficult child is using her illness as a ploy to get out of school.

    But like I have told her, I actually witness difficult child throwing up so I know it's real. Today she felt ill but I convinced her to come to school. She is in class right now and so far doing okay. She did come up to me on break time and say she felt nauseaus, but she ate a little something and feels better so far. I am hoping the new medication plus the increase in Prilosec will help. Ex found out that difficult child has been out ill several times since starting the new school and he got really mad at her. I explained to him about her diagnosis. I told him I even have a doctor's note that excused difficult child from missing three days of school last week. But he's not buying it. He had a talk with difficult child last weekend and told her that she will be going to jail and he won't be bailing her out. He also told her that he hates me (he took it back later and said he didn't really mean it) and that he disapproves of my parenting style. She asked me to please explain to him that she is not missing school because she is lazy, which he accused her of, but that she has been really sick with the ulcers. I told her that I already explained to him but he won't listen. So now I'm worried he may try and take custody of her too. So I am crossing fingers this new medication works and difficult child can get some relief. I just don't know what else to do.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    What's she eating, in general and specifically for breakfast?

    She might need to go BRAT for a while... but find some form of protein that works for her.
    She does need to eat "little but often".
    Does she like ginger? if so, get her some 'travelers candy' - which is good for nausea, but can be eaten in the classroom without students thinking its "medicine" (it isn't... it's ginger and sugar... )
  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    She is eating bagels for breakfast. Yesterday I got her Mcdonald's which I know was probably a mistake because of the grease. Grease doesn't always affect her but I'm sure it's not the best thing for her. But usually she eats healthy breakfasts. Do you know where I would be able to find the ginger candy?
  4. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Ulcers can make you pretty dang sick. My grandma had a bleeding peptic ulcer and no matter how she took care of it, it was still a loose cannon sometimes. I would listen to the doctor and ignore your idiot ex. Custody hearings cost so much money that unless he's a really rich man it will be hard to go to court and get custody based on her having a real medical issue that you are concerned with while he complains she is faking it. My guess is if he went alone (no lawyer) the judge would kick him out. I doubt a lawyer would even take his case, because he has no case. It's not that easy to get custody switched. Judges don't like to do it. My son dated a divorce attorney for a while and I learned a lot. Custody battles are mainly for the rich because they are long, drawn out, often require specialists whom the person has to pay and a judge doesn't listen to a person who doesn't have a lawyer. This lawyer my son was dating was fighting for custody with her ex, also a lawyer. So far she had spent $80,000 on the hearing and it wasn't resolved yet. You can't go to court one time and get custody changed. It can drag out for years. Which is why most people can't have long, drawn out custody hearings and custody usually stays as it was stated in the decree.

    As for Mom, I hope you informed the nurse and school in general that as the custodial parent, they are only to listen to you, not Mom. I'm always amazed at how many mothers are nosy and intrusive and undermine what their daughter's say or do. Do they all want to be like MY mom was???? Seriously, we ended up not speaking for ten years.

    I think you're doing everything right. You called the doctor. You talked to the nurse. You have a sick daughter and everyone else is just going to have to deal with it until she is better. I'm curious. Did the gastro guy put her on an antibiotic? I heard that nowadays they do that to treat certain types of ulcers. I'm not suggesting you ask him to do that if he hasn't, I'm just curious about ulcer treatment. Also, I have gastric reflux and I LOVE GINGER. I put it on everything. It's soothing to my stomach so perhaps it would make your daughter feel better. Of course, ulcers are different.

  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    No she wasn't put on antibiotic. They checked for infection when they did her endoscopy and there wasn't any. So I guess that means no antibiotic is necssary. Hoping the anti nausea medication works for the vomiting since that seems to be the worst of her symtoms right now.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    We get ours at a local health food store - they tend to carry "alternative medicine" stuff.

    My ob-gyn for 2 pregnancies was on a research project evaluating "old-wives' solutions" to common pregnancy problems, one of which is nausea... and found that ginger was both highly effective and extremely safe... so SHE told me about this stuff. I don't trust all "alternatives" any more than I trust "all doctors" or "all medications" but... when both sides agree (medical and alternative), there has to be something to it!

    Bagels are NOT a healthy breakfast. (sorry... been there done that) Most bagels are 90% white flour.
    Hot oatmeal. Or whole-grain toast.
    Get some eggs in there or some yogurt - need protein.
  7. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    The Zofran is what they give for nausea while receiving chemo. Worked amazing for my aunt. That should help tremendously. I always wonder why mothers think they can interfere with their grown children's parenting style. I think it's time you stand up to her and tell her to stop overstepping her bounds.
  8. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I have been trying most of my life to get my mom to back off. She has undiagnosed anxiety disorder and gets in a panic if she thinks things are out of order with her kids or grandkids. She's called the new school's psychiatric so much that he has jokingly told me that he now has her number on speed dial. And I have had complaints in the past from teachers and principals that she is meddling too much and it makes them uncomfortable. I find myself apologizing for her over involvement. It's like she thinks I'm incompetent as a person, which I'm trying hard to get over. It is something I am currently working on with my therapist.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    You have said here many times that you want your mom to stop but then ask for help so I'm proud of you for working on it in therapy.

    But in school they are not allowed to talk to anyone but you. Especially because she is a special needs student. You don't even need to tell your mom. Just ask them to share that it is school policy not to discuss students without a release of information. And, never sign one!

    Sorry she is still so sick. I've had ulcers, they are rough. For sure stop the heavy foods. I needed double the prilosec, still do.
  10. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Poor difficult child that must be very hard for her, for you too. You are doing great. It is probably a comfort to have you in the same building while she is going through this.
  11. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Honestly, the school should be telling your mom that they can't talk to her unless you've signed papers that allow it (have you?).
  12. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I signed a release for the nurse only because I really don't mind if she is involved in her physical health. However, I did not sign a release for the school psychologist and I am not going to. I think difficult child's emotional matters are hers alone to deal with and she doesn't need my mom's over involvement with that too. So far the school psychiatric has not discussed anything personal with my mom but he did return her call when she left a frantic message telling him difficult child needed to see him asap because she still is not used to the new school. He reasurred her that he will be seeing difficult child on a regular basis and will be helping her adapt. I saw him later and told him my mom was overreacting and difficult child seems to be doing pretty good so far at school. She still misses her friends, which is understandable, but otherwise she is doing good in all of her classes. I think the school psychiatric already has a feel for my mom and knows when she is over reacting. At least I hope he does. I already feel bad for him and difficult child has only been here for two weeks!