difficult child says I'm a Beef Jerky

[Andy]

What an ornery little cranky difficult child is today. He told me I was a beef jerky (I replied, "Moooo" and he said that was not what it meant) and that since it would get me mad if he told me what that meant, he will explain it to me. "Beef means you are fat. Jerky means you are a jerk."

He then asked, "Do you think you are fat?" "It doesn't matter what I think. I suppose I am." "No you are not." (He is going to make a wonderful husband some day because I am definately fat). "You are just overweight" (well, maybe just a little on the wonderful side to be a husband?)

"That is too bad that you have to have a beef jerky mom." "What?" "It must be a bummer to have such a terrible beef jerky of a mom." "You are mean!" "So?" "You are mean!!!" "Not much I can do about that."

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Beef jerky? That is hilarious.

 

[TerryJ2]

Beef jerky? If only they knew how funny they sounded when they're mad. Too cute.

 

[Sara PA]

I know I've told the story before but when my son was so unstable, he called me a "skanky wh0re". (He was in his mid/late teens.) I am SO not a skanky anything and certainly not a wh0re that I almost laughed out loud. It was really hard not to. I'm sure my lips were twitching. Wouldn't have been a good idea at the time considering how violent he was and being laughed at would have really set him off. I remember wondering where that came from.

Every now and then I bring it up, now that I can laugh at loud about it. He gets sooo embarrassed.

 

[flutterbee]

Welcome to our newest member of the Mean Mom Club.

Beef Jerky doesn't do much, you know. It just lies there. It certainly doesn't take it's kids to the movies, or play games, or...you get the idea.

 

[slsh]

Oh my gosh... thank you for the chuckle. I really do love that as challenging as our kids can be, sometimes they really are just so clever and sharp.

Beef Jerky Mom... and you mooed at him!!!! OMG, I love it - what an absolutely perfect reponse!

I shall not share what thank you was calling me at age 11 - I'd be banned from the board for life!

 

[susiestar]

Where do they GET this stuff from, it is just TOOOO funny!!

Hugs,

Susie

 

[crazymama30]

Can I be peperoni??? I want to be tall and skinny.

That is just too funny.

 

[Marguerite]

difficult child 3 is not good at tactful. The more he tries, the deeper his foot gets into his GI tract.

"I love you Mum, just the way you are. I really don't care that you are fat. I love you anyway."

It's a good thing I'm not over-sensitive!

Marg

 

[Wiped Out]

difficult child always tells me I have cottage cheese! Yes, he means cellulite but he heard it on a commercial one time and has always said cottage cheese. He is none too tactful!

 

[Christy]

When my son was younger and he would kiss my husband goodnight first, I'd say, "What am I, chopped liver?" So one day when he was angry at me he said, "You know what? You ARE chopped liver!"

ON another note, while my son doesn't come right out and call me fat, he does suggest that I buy every diet pill and program advertised on tv and radio!