difficult child suspended again

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Mar 20, 2007.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm at my wit's end right now. difficult child received a three day suspension for the rest of the week. He hit a Special Education teacher open hand and left a mark.

    husband will take off tomorrow unpaid as he is out of sick time-I will take off Thursday and Friday and am not happy.

    He has absolutely no impulse control and yet we can't treat the ADHD because of all those medications making him worse.

    On top of that easy child is being a major PITA. Grades are starting to slip again in some classes. Also I asked her to please have the garbage out before I came home with difficult child from wrestling so I wouldn't have to park the car twice-was it done? NO! Honestly she doesn't seem to care about anyone but herself. She has a really bad attitude right now and is very snotty-all typical typical teen but on top of everything with difficult child right now it's just too much.

    I just spent about 10 minutes crying :crying: -don't want to have them see me cry so I pulled myself together. When husband gets home in a bit we're going out to eat to get away from the kids for a bit. This weekend when we head to Michigan for the wedding the kids will stay with husband's parents and we'll stay with his sister. We need the break.

    I did call difficult child's psychiatrist and we are increasing the Loxapine again. He really is a great psychiatrist. The nurse is too. She says not to worry about calling too much that is their job.

    Thanks for listening!
  2. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Aww, Sharon, that stinks. I'm really sorry.

    It's good you have a break coming up. You sure deserve it.

    I don't know anything about the Loxapine, but I hope the increase helps. We are only now starting Dylan REALLY slowly on the Concerta, but we're so careful. I wish I had advice.

    Sending hugs, hon.

  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    Is difficult child going to be stable enough to travel safely this coming weekend?

    It seems the ADHD should take a backseat to stability. I'm not trying to second guess your psychiatrist - just thinking out loud for you.

    I'm sorry that difficult child continues to be so unstable.

    I understand your tears - feel free to cry on our sturdy cybershoulder.
  4. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'>Wiped out those hits just keep coming. difficult child is really struggling isn't he? I hope the change in medications will help.

    As far as easy child, it is so typical to not get that chores are part of their lives. My easy child is 17 and a really good kid. I had to hold car keys hostage until the trash is put out. As he rolled his eyes, I told him he is going to realize how stupid it is to drag his feet about trash,someday. No one seems to remember what they should do unless it has been told to them the 3 rd time with a sharp voice. The only thing that works for easy child is repetition.
    I'm starting to think shame and guilt might not be such a bad thing. It worked for my mom. :smile: </span>
  5. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I am so sorry. My difficult child has been suspended 2 or 3 times, and it was awful. Each time I felt like a total failure. Gentle hugs and positive vibes coming your way.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm really glad you are getting a break. You sure need one right now.

    As for the typical teen stuff, it may be typical but it sure can grate on the nerves at times. :hammer:

  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Sharon -

    I'm sorry this is happening right now. easy child is just being a typical teen. I hope the medication increase is effective.
  8. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I have been away from the board for a few days but you and difficult child have never been far from my thoughts. I include you guys in my prayers every morning.

    Sorry for yet another suspension. I'm thinking it was only two weeks ago the last time. How would taking wrestling away while on suspension work? Would it make him more irratiable or perhpas more contrite?

    I know that you don't want to do anything right now to really set him off. He appears to be so unstable. I hope the medication increase works. I totally understand about the adhd. I believe they increase difficult child's aggitation which in turn makes his, already little fuse, much smaller (almost nonexistant in fact).

    Lots of hugs. I hope he does well with the grandparents. Are they pretty good at handling any situation that may arise during the visit?

    Lots of hugs,
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks everyone-I appreciate your responses very much.

    Janna-Thanks for the hugs.

    Linda-I think difficult child will be o.k. to travel. He'll sleep most of the way on Friday night. He should be o.k. because he really works hard to hold it together at grandmas and grandpa's-plus I think he is a bit scared of them which isn't an all bad thing. The part I'm a little worried about is the drive home on Sunday-he won't sleep for much of that-hopefully we can keep him entertained enough to hold off any blowups.

    Fran-had to laugh at the shame and guilt! As for easy child-you're right repition, repition, repition!

    Crazymama-Thanks for the positive vibes and hugs. I absolutely hate suspensions.

    Lisa-The break will be good. You are so right about typical teen stuff grating on your nerves!

    Heather-Thanks for the good thoughts.

    Sharon-Thanks for the prayers-they are much appreciated! husband and I have talked about taking away wrestling but we don't think he would handle it well (we're fairly certain a huge meltdown would ensue) and tomorrow is his last night other than the banquet. husband's parents are great at handling anything with difficult child-I really do think he is scared of them-he doesn't see them often and husband's dad is great but can come off a bit gruff. Also my brother in law is there and would be able to help out if anything happened.

    My principal was so understanding today when I told her and that really helped. Now for the really hard part-the next two days will be exhausting-he needs so much one on one with school work. husband was pretty wiped out from it today.
  10. thestormyjourney

    thestormyjourney New Member

    Hi, I'm sorry I can't offer much other than comfort, and just to tell you that I am suspension queen!! At the end of last year my difficult child 1 had 2, back -to-back month suspensions right before the 6 weeks christmas holidays, so he was off school for 14 weeks!! At the same time my difficult child 2 also had a month suspension right before the school holidays so he was off for 10 weeks. I tell you what I was at my lowest, and if I hadn't started Anti Depressants I would not be here today. As of right now, my difficult child 1 is on a months long suspesion for upturning desks throwing things and putting other students in danger, all this on his FIRST day back after a 4 day short suspension. He is at home almost all the time. Thank god difficult child 2's behavioural school don't send him home for more than 1 day at a time or my kids would be in foster care right now.

    Soooooooooooo on that note....I know how you feel and the fact that you are getting some time away will help you handle things...


  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sooooo, Sharon - when do you have recess scheduled??????

    I'm truly sorry honey. I'm glad that you feel difficult child is okay to travel. by the way, do you have a travel television to utilize?

    It's done wonders for wm & long trips.
  12. mattsmum

    mattsmum New Member

    I am a newbie...and don't know your whole story...but is your son on a 504 plan or IEP? If so, there may be some procedural safeguards in place to help. I know in NH my son has rights if the conduct was caused by, or had a direct and substantial relationship to the child's disability...or if the conduct in question was the direct result of the school's failure to follow the IEP.

    Has the school done a Functional Behavioral Assessment for him?

    Again, I am a newbie...these are things I am sorting out as well and you may know more than I do.
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Stormyjourney-That is a lot of suspensions. Doesn't seem fair. Here after nine days they have to determine if it is due to his disability and then things can change.

    Linda-We do have a portable dvd which does help some!

    Mattsmum-Good questions and good advice! He does have an IEP and has a BIP-he did have a FBA done back in 1st grade. We do, however, need to update the BIP and get it in his IEP that this is part of his disability-not to excuse it but to have them handle it differently-out of school suspensions can't keep up.
  14. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good Morning Sharon :flower:

    wanted to offer you a flower this morning as you get ready for your toughest teaching assignment yet!!!!!!!!!!

    Hope the day goes well.

  15. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I'm next in line to offer you a flower for your challenging day ahead. :flower:

    Rattling beads that your day goes by quickly & that difficult child is cooperative.
  16. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you and hoping that difficult child behaves for you today and tomorrow while on suspension!!! I'm so sorry I didn't respond sooner... Life has been not only busy but also difficult around here too...

    I'm glad that difficult child can stay with his grandparents when you go to the wedding this weekend. It's nice that husband's parents can handle difficult child!!! I'm glad that you have family that will help and that you ask for it when you're frazzled!!!

    I hope that you and husband get to have some fun at the wedding!!!

    Sending cyber hugs and keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well... :flower: WFEN
  17. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Aww-thanks ladies! That is so nice-as soon as I'm done typing this we're going to get to work. He is calm right now and am hoping it will last!

    WFEN-difficult child is staying with grandparents but coming to the wedding too. The good news is that when they leave, and they are planning on going home early, difficult child will go home with them.
  18. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm glad that husband's parents are leaving the wedding early and taking difficult child with them!!!

    I'm glad difficult child is calm at the moment!!! I'm keeping ALL body parts crossed that it will last!!! WFEN
  19. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I've been thinking about you this afternoon. How are things going??? WFEN
  20. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks WFEN,
    It went o.k. He was no where near as compliant as the last time he was suspended. He made it difficult (a few rough spots) but we did get some work done. This afternoon he fell asleep from about 1-3 so that was a nice break! One down, one more to go.