difficult child update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Jan 8, 2009.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi everyone! :)

    I've been going thru strange umm withdrawals from not being able to get in here that much. So much is going on with-everyone i'm trying to play catch up while i'm cooking.

    So, difficult child i wanted to update. She has overall in my eyes been awesome. She has melted down about 3 times this week, and refused school pretty badly two times. It made me late.

    Yet each time I made sure to regroup, stay super calm, talk to her, alot of praise ive been using. Now normally I would yet i've been pouring it on bigtime this week, and each time we made it thru an episode she rose up again! Got thru her days with-anxiety she has admitted yet thru self talk I've taught her and different techniques her and I came up with to make her feel safe she got thru! NO NURSE THIS WEEK!

    All homework's been done as well, it takes us up to an hour and a half after i get in from work yet it's done.

    So, all in all she was ready for me to push i think. It's too soon to tell how she will continue to do. I'm transitioning a sitter in next, have a few interviews this weekend. I desperately need back up and also I was searching for one on one with her. I want someone special for her to be with while i'm at work. Someone who will give her their time and not just "watch" her. Polish her nails, draw with her, do hw games together to get it done like i do certain nights.

    I had a few potentials yet the diagnosis's scared them away. Yet I have one who my gut is telling me could work well. She's an aide, children are grown, sounds very nice yet we will see. I will meet this weekend and if i chose her i will transition her next week. Make her go to school with-me to pick up difficult child, come by apt. on another night so difficult child can show her where her toys are, her room, her kitten. than ween her off me picking her up by week 2 i'm figuring and all whomever sitter will be.

    anyway i'm proud of her, bigtime for hanging in there with me this week. I have to be honest i think it has to do with-what i am doing for work. i told her what i'm doing and she feels connected somehow. she asks for info yet i can't show her that stuff.

    sorry so long just wanted to share since i was freaking out last week :)
  2. wow, this is a great update! She sounds like all in all she is handling it well. Way To Go Mom!
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    This sounds pretty good!! Although I bet you are about to drop from exhaustion! I hope you can get a sitter who eventually will be able to help difficult child get her hw done before you get home. It might take a while before difficult child is comfy with that, but it seems like it would take a load off you if you just needed to look over the hw in the evenings. Maybe you could motivate difficult child by telling her this would allow 1/2 hr every night for you to do her nails, play a game with her, etc.

    So, I'm glad the job is going well and that they are working with you on this. Is boyfriend getting adjusted as well as you and difficult child?
  4. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Glad she is doing well with the transition. How is work going by the way???? The sitter sounds promising. Keeping my finger's and toe's crossed!!!!!

    I miss you on the boards during the day. :(

    Keep us posted. :)
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi i'm back LOL. sheesh i dedicate my entire night strictly to her and easy child now i feel like i have to make up lost time from work. i am tired. very actually overtired at this point. Yet it's a good tired if that makes any sense or maybe i'm just dillussional who knows!!

    Butterfly - yes so far so good, keeping fingers crossed. thanks!

    klmno and bran - Hi, i've been thinking about both of you. so, sheesh i soo wanna know what you and difficult child are up to i read the longer post when i got a few min. yesterday. i hope you guys are well. difficult child well she's holding her own, yet as i said meltdowns have occured i was totally expecting them, but hey she's getting to sleep and that's what counts also. her anxiety has def. increased during the day but she's actually listening to the things i taught her the past year and actually starting to utilize them. Yet bedtime is hardest. I'Tourette's Syndrome when it all comes out. She's having friend issues this week with the one friend she made who is ignoring her she is hurt and needed a shoulder and alot of hugs and alot of ideas.

    It's alot for her yet she keeps giving me thumbs up everyday it's her "new" thing when she's made it through another day with-o nurse and controlling her feelings. Amazing. boyfriend well sheesh what can I say he's made it hard on me this week he really has. I'd need to post a whole other thing on watercooler for him lol. his insecurities are popping up bigtime, he's used to what our dynamic was since we have been together which was he was the bread winner and I was here taking care of easy child and mostly difficult child with her varying issues. so now it's changed and boy did he kick up till i finally blew and planted him and said your support is NOT optional here at all!

    part of loving a person is supporting them even when your scared or nervous. I told him that things have to change, effort needs to be made, and i expect him on board 100% by next week. He's been texting during meetings, upset we dont have our "tea time" anymore after work to talk, upset I am sort of having to schedule him in. I told him I have a job it doesn't mean i dont' love you anymore it means i have wings and i'm soo going to use them. I said sheesh this is what i'd probably say to difficult child yet i'm using it on you. SHe's 9 with- about 6 diagnosis's and your umm how old?? Anyhow I made my point and he's beginning to calm.

    Job is scary but good. i'll post on the watercooler for that.

    thanks you guys for caring. i soo appreciate it more than you know.
  6. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am sooooo proud of difficult child! :thumbsup: Her thumbs up activity is so cool also. I think this deserves pink, yellow, blue, and striped bras to go with the black one.
  7. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Andy that's funny lol.

    she had another anxiety attack today at recess. i think i have a handle on what's going on. her insecurities are growing with me going back to work and also she is going to her friends house only to be dropped at school 2 mornings a week so i can get to work on time. she's literally there for like ten minutes before they drive to school.

    yet she's doing the checking thing again asking alot of questions neediness is heightening and her friend is getting turned off by it and starting to back off.

    so not sure how i'm going to handle the talk with her yet. everyday so far i pick her up from school and she is upset and rambilng on endlessly.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad to hear difficult child is doing so well. I hope the sitter you're thinking would be good works out.
  9. lizzie09

    lizzie09 lizzie

    Just to say,Jennifer ,that I am so glad your week and difficult child went well.

    My heartiest congratulations..I know you know I mean that so much

    I have watched for your posts and am delighted and wish you really well in the following weeks....

    I said to my husband today...I might try work again and he said....Hey whats up? Theres a recession on now, people are losing jobs and you want to go back NOW LOL! Its just I was feeling your bit of freedom!!!

    Hope you have a relaxing weekend.
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member

    LOL you are soo funny!! Go, Go, Go I will be your cheerleader!!
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hurray for you! Sending good thoughts that the progress continues ;)
  12. ML

    ML Guest

    How is your cold?
  13. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Hi ML, how are you doing?? Hope Manster is well. My cold is still there, yet not as bad. I just keep going to run away from it! LOL
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi Jennifer, thank you for checking in. Your posts are awesome. I know it's hard but I am so happy for you!
    Your difficult child is really doing well, regardless of the anxiety attack at recess. This is a big transition.
    So sorry about your boyfriend. It's a transition for everyone. :) At least he says he misses you, even if it's not the way you'd like him to react. I will check your thread on the WC.
    Get some sleep!
  15. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Terry thanks for your caring, I appreciate that. I have hardly been on, I knew the first week i'd be overloaded and overwhelmed. I'm trying to figure out how to handle and juggle again. I'Tourette's Syndrome pretty funny. I'Tourette's Syndrome 6 here and I just finished feeding easy child, putting laundry away and cleaning so everythings ready for tmrw. difficult child should be home in a bit, I got no time today at all or this weekend. Its going to take time to find tune it all. Hey I got a sitter!! I should post about that lol.

    i feel bad i havent' ready any posts at all. i have to try and play catch up if i can.
  16. ML

    ML Guest

    ((((((((Jennifer)))))))))) Your energy level rocks. Rest as much as you can. You have every reason to consider this first week back to work a success!