mstang67chic
Going Green
difficult child turns 18 tomorrow and told me tonight that he will be calling his birth mother now that he's 18. BM lost parental rights to difficult child when he was about 6 or 7, as well as 2 of her other children. She has a total of 5 and only still has one...why I don't know but that's typical DCS in their infinite wisdom. We still have contact with some of his birth family (Grandma in particular) and he plans on calling G'ma to get egg donor's number. We have had difficult child since he was 9 and adopted him when he was 10. (We are not biologically related to him. He was adopted out of foster care) Egg donor hasn't reallly cleaned up her act since losing difficult child. She still parties, still leads a questionable lifestyle and from what G'ma says, lives in near poverty. She has been in and out of jail and prison, is estranged from her sister and is off and on with G'ma (her mother). Apparently she is only nice to G'ma when she needs something...you know, just little things like keeping her daughter when she's in jail.
I told difficult child that I don't have egg donor's number and he said that he will just call G'ma to get it. I said that when he's on the phone with G'ma, he should ask her about what kind of life ED is living and if she's even out of prison. difficult child got a little upset with me and made a comment about how everyone always says that ED is a bad person. (Do you think that if it's coming from so many people that MAYBE it's true???) I replied that I've never said she was a bad person. She just continually makes very bad decisions regarding her life. difficult child then said something about how he's waited 18 years to see her again. When I corrected him on the time line, he adjusted it but said that he hadn't seen her since he was taken from her. I just looked at him and said, "Yes, when you were taken from her for YOUR WELL BEING." and walked away.
This is so NOT a good idea in so many ways. I emailed G'ma to give her a heads up but what can I do. In just under an hour he will be 18 and legally can do this. But to tell him that legal or not, it's simply not a good idea? That would only tick him off and make him want to do it even more. He's stated for a couple of years now that when he's 18, he is going to move back to his real family's area. (They live almost 2 hours away) I will do anything I can to prevent this but honestly there's not a lot I can do if he gets it into his head to do.
I have no idea what to do or how to handle this. I always knew this would be a distinct possibility but now that it's here I'm a bit freaked.
I told difficult child that I don't have egg donor's number and he said that he will just call G'ma to get it. I said that when he's on the phone with G'ma, he should ask her about what kind of life ED is living and if she's even out of prison. difficult child got a little upset with me and made a comment about how everyone always says that ED is a bad person. (Do you think that if it's coming from so many people that MAYBE it's true???) I replied that I've never said she was a bad person. She just continually makes very bad decisions regarding her life. difficult child then said something about how he's waited 18 years to see her again. When I corrected him on the time line, he adjusted it but said that he hadn't seen her since he was taken from her. I just looked at him and said, "Yes, when you were taken from her for YOUR WELL BEING." and walked away.
This is so NOT a good idea in so many ways. I emailed G'ma to give her a heads up but what can I do. In just under an hour he will be 18 and legally can do this. But to tell him that legal or not, it's simply not a good idea? That would only tick him off and make him want to do it even more. He's stated for a couple of years now that when he's 18, he is going to move back to his real family's area. (They live almost 2 hours away) I will do anything I can to prevent this but honestly there's not a lot I can do if he gets it into his head to do.
I have no idea what to do or how to handle this. I always knew this would be a distinct possibility but now that it's here I'm a bit freaked.