difficult child's car

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by AmericanGirl, Apr 19, 2013.

  1. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member

    Started cleaning difficult child's car (legally mine).

    Found this little angel (see picture) under the driver's seat. I have no clue where it came from. I threw out tons of junk but will likely keep this forever. I wish I knew where he got it and why he kept it.

    going to take several passes and a carpet cleaner to make that car acceptable again. I came in showered and washed my hair. Just felt filthy, sad and angry. There are ashes everywhere which I assume are pot. difficult child doesn't care about anything anymore.

    he's supposed to start training for his new job in the morning. He mentioned it was at the store in a nearby town and he may need a ride. Haven't heard from him since Tuesday. Since I have his SS card, I figure he won't work until he gets that.

    *just grieving. Making progress. Moving through it.

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  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Cleaning up after difficult child backslides and binges is the worst. You can always tell their level of relapse by the state of their car and their room. I've found that once I've cleaned and reclaimed the car/room, I've felt a little better. It still hurts, and it's sad, esp. when they've improved for so long.
    That angel was there for something - for solace, for hope, for comfort. Hold tight! ((((Hugs))))
  3. Karenvm

    Karenvm Member

    Things like that (finding the angel) break my heart. I will sometimes find evidence that there is a wonderful person inside my difficult child (like finding the angel-it must have meant something to him), and it makes me want to cry.
    Hang in there. You are not alone in this, we are all on your team.
  4. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member

    Well typical difficult child. I drive him to training for his new job. He tells me his wallet was stolen a week ago. No license, no SS card (he didn't tell me to bring it)...no training. He can try again next week.

    he was horrible most of the drive. Told me he had two options...move out West where there's a barter system (huh?!?) or get engaged. He hasn't got a girlfriend. Likely threats to try to get me to cave.

    ran into him later. Has a new tattoo. it says 'don't panic.'. Ironic. Plus a spray tan. But he didn't have money for food last night.

    difficult child asked about the local place I suggested he go. Kind of a halfway house. He used my phone to call. Soon as he heard no smoking or TV, he was done. Fool had stopped smoking and rarely watches TV. That's like me rejecting a new diet cause it says no brussel spouts.

    of course, I'm scared difficult child will do something stupid, like hitchhike out West. Yet I know I have zero control.
  5. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Here was my mantra..."You're a smart boy, I'm sure you'll figure something out." He would call me with all his woes of the world (usually lies), he wanted me to feel so bad that it would be my idea to give him money (or whatever). Stay strong, it's heartbreaking I know, but he needs to do this himself, whatever "this" is.

    on the other hand, sometimes when things are so totally off the wall messed up, you have to laugh, there's nothing else you can do. I laughed at the spray tan and new tattoo. You couldn't even make this kind of thing up if you tried.
  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Tattoo? Spray tan? Barter system? What planet is he on? Sigh....hang in there!