When difficult child woke up this morning he started feeling like things would not connect. He was afraid to go to school but did not argue or fight it. He felt weird all morning off and on - just couldn't connect. After a recess was snack time. He ate a little and then threw up a little. He told the teacher and then threw up some more - a lot. The teacher asked him if he wanted to try the Iowa Basic Test. She had reviewed it and told him it was easy. So, he took that test. He stated it was super easy - he is surprised that it was a 6th grade level and during the test he felt clear and could think. Then after the test, he started "disconnecting" again. When he couldn't take it anymore, he went to the teacher in tears (the teacher told me this) and asked to go home. So his teacher called me. He was able to get on the phone and stated that he felt he let me down. He wanted his dad to get him because he knew I was trying to get hours in at work to get caught up. husband couldn't get him (well he could if I insisted) and I figured I would go to evaluate the situation. I took difficult child home. He hugged me and said, "Mom I feel I am letting you down. I can't face up to my fears. I need to go home and think about things. There is just too much." When we got home, I had him write down everything so that we can remember it for the therapist and also the neurologist. difficult child told me that while he was waiting to be picked up, he felt a twinge of suicidal thoughts but brushed them away (He said, "I just thought whatever!") He did his breathing and was thinking about New York. Those things helped. He did a good job writing down how he felt all morning. I think I see clues in it for both therapist and the neurologist to look at. I called to see if I could get a therapist appointment next week (difficult child's next one is two weeks from today). There was no openings but the receptionist said she can have therapist call. husband came home at 11:30 so that I could go supervise the school lunch for him and go into work. therapist called and talked to difficult child. therapist found us an opening on Wed morning. I am thinking the nausea and throwing up may be part of his migraine variant? He does not throw up easily and I know it is not on purpose. We may have to go back on medications for the anxiety but I want to explore those headaches again. The neurologist appointment the day after Easter will help. I received an e-mail from sister in law stating it may be best to postpone the NYC trip to this Summer. She would like to find a time when the total focus on the trip will be sightseeing for difficult child (it is his 6th grade graduation gift). I think this will be a big relief for difficult child. He was anxious about not having his aunt available the entire trip. sister in law states that they are finding the schedule for the trip will include meetings all day Friday and much of Saturday for her and a short meeting for brother in law which difficult child would have to sit in a meeting room getting bored and a formal dinner which I think may get too late for difficult child. I think this news that a new date will be set with the focus on his agenda will take a lot of pressure off of him. I am so nervous about the medication route again. Even though it worked so well last time I am just not feeling right about it. We will see what comes about with the therapist appointment. The psychiatrist accesses the therapist reports so keeps up on what is going on. I also want to see if the change in the trip plans will ease his anxiety.