i have a grown daughter, that moved out and moved in to where my mother is living with a family friend. She didn't have to pay rent with me and had her own room and freedom but because my father in law smoked cigars in his house, she left and went to my mom and her friend's where now, she has to pay rent. Well, about a year ago, I made her start paying her car note on the car that I was driving and gave to her because she needed a car. Well, now, she is not helping with car insurance and I recently started asking her to and she stated that she can't afford it and it doesn't help that she is spending way too much on her daughter's first Christmas. I don't make a lot of money and I have 3 other kids that are all younger than her. She decided to message me to ask what I got for her daughter for Christmas and I told her that I couldn't afford to buy anyone gifts and then she goes on to call me a liar because, my mom, her nana, that she now lives with, told her so. Well, when I asked about the car insurance, she told me that she couldn't afford it, well neither can I. I pay child support to my ex-husband, which comes out of my check before I even get it. So, my question is, since she was 12 and finally met her deadbeat father and went and moved in with him after false allegations that I abused her(case was later closed) and so while she was with her father, my mom and her father filled her head and now any time I hear from her, its because she wants something. I had to have surgery in February and she told me that before she would come to hospital that I had to apologize to my mom, her nana, because I was in the emergency room all alone and in pain and ended getting admitted and having surgery the next day due to it. My question, is our relationship just dead and should I quit allowing her to control me? I know that she will have all that she needs with her nana, my mother, who bad mouths me to everyone? Any advice or help would be so deeply appreciated? TIA!