Disturbing call

[Helpless29]

My son had been on a drug binge , calls me either because he needs help or to just lie about what’s going on in his life. . He called me today saying a friend helped him get into a apartment, that he gave his friend his whole check , not sure if he still has his job but he says he does , anyway he called me video chat ,he looked so intoxicated or high on something , he wanted to show me his place , at first I thought he just didn’t have a shirt on , but as he’s talking to me , the video goes to his private part, I screamed but he continues with it on private part ,he was butt naked , I’m so disgusted!!! I hung up ! His dad called me saying he also called him video chat a few minutes prior to me but was fully clothed!! Did he intentionally call me naked & put the camera on his private part , I’m so disgusted, I can’t even explain what I’m feeling . I feel violated & feel he hit a all time low!! I can’t do this no more !! I am cutting ties ! What I’m feeling right now is unexplainable.

 

[Helpless29]

I needed to add ,woke up to a text message from my sister this morning that he did the same thing to her but more graphic , I’m horrified! I didn’t tell anyone what he did to me . I’m ashamed & sickened by all of this .

 

[ksm]

I am so sorry. I wish however had a hug emoji instead of a thumbs up or heart or rainbow... just wanted you to know I read your post and sorry you had to go thru that. I assume he was high on something and lost any inhibitions he msy normally have.

I so wish he was in jail where less chance to continue using. Ksm

 

[RN0441]

I am beyond sorry to hear this news. That must have been beyond weird for you and these are things he will never forgive himself for when he is sober.

I agree that I wish he was in jail so he could straighten himself out.

I pray that this all ends soon in a good way and he can get himself back on track. It can happen; trust me. I've seen it with my own two eyes with our son!!

 

[Csmom]

I am so sorry to hear about what you have been thru and seeing your son that way. Just remember that is not him. That is the drugs. He may not even remember doing it later. It is so hard to see our sons high or intoxicated. Hopefully the law will catch up to him sooner rather than later. It is out of your control. Protect yourself and your family. We can only hope that one day our sons choose to do better and choose recovery.

 

[Copabanana]

Dear helpless.

I am horrified along with you. I am so very sorry.

He is degrading himself. Not you. Maybe this is a wake-up call to all of us, to not allow ourselves to be touched by the aberrant conduct of these grown men. He is 18 now. There are no excuses. I just can't fathom how he feels pride and boastful about himself and how he is living. Showing off an apartment? When he's not in compliance with his legal requirements?

On some level, the video and his conduct showed the exact truth of who he is now. He is an emperor with no clothes. He feels prideful and entitled when he is actually walking around displaying how inadequate and immature he is right now, and how deluded and false is his sense of self, and values. Indeed, he is out of control.

This has nothing to do with you. Even if he had intended to display himself. I find it odd too that he exposed himself only to you and your sister. Again. This is his transgression, not yours.

You are NOT responsible. But the ball here is in your court.

 

[RN0441]

Any more news on this Helpless? Thinking of you!

 

[Helpless29]

Any more news on this Helpless? Thinking of you!

One of his friends came to my house to pick up his clothes, the boy who came is a very good boy always been there for son, they known each other since 3rd grade , he’s always tried helping my son . He told me his family got my son into a a apartment, he’s working construction with him, he pick & drops off my son since they work together. He told me he’s really trying hard to get my son on the right track . All this sounds good but I know my son all to well , I hope he does not ruin this like everything else, I can rest knowing he has his own place & there are good people helping him . My mind is still super disturbed by his video chat to me & him exposing himself , he has not tried contacting me which lets me know he knows what he did . I still do not want any contact with him and have blocked him from my FB messenger . Giving his friend the rest of his clothes away , let me let go a little bit more .

 

[Copabanana]

Hi Helpless

I'm glad you get to relax a bit. Your son is quite self-reliant and he seems to gather to him, people who want to help. We'll all of us pray with you that these gifts will carry him while his brain matures and he learns that he is not such a hot shot.

 

[Nandina]

Helpless, what a caring and kind friend your son has. It looks like your son was telling the truth when he told you he had a friend who helped him get into an apartment which you posted about earlier. It does sound a little too good to be true, and it’s no wonder you were skeptical, but how fortunate he is that he has a friend of that caliber. People like that are rare.

My son, too, has a couple of friends who have tried to keep him on the right path through all his mistakes and missteps. I am grateful for them both, and when my son calls one of his druggie friends or dealers a “friend,” I tell him the only true friends he has are those two kids. I am grateful he has them in his life.

I hope this will help relieve some of the stress that he has caused in your life and you can breathe a little easier. We are thinking of you, praying and hoping for the very best. Sending a great big virtual hug your way.

 

[Waitingforamiracle]

Helpless, I never think my son is telling the truth and then find out that what he said was true after all. So why do I think he lies? Perhaps it is because he retells the past (regarding how we brought him up) in such a way that I cannot believe it is anything else but lies... I don't know... he seems to get on OK when he is away from us. It is we that are the problem sometimes, even though we don't realise it...sorry not making much sense but this stuck a chord with me. ..hugs, W

 

[RN0441]

Also great to hear your son has a friend that is a good guy. My son also had a friend from when he was 4 years old but messed up that relationship when he was using. Now they are actually friends again (he lives in Chicago and we are on the Gulf Coast) but at least when we relocate I know he'll have at least one friend that I know he can trust.

This really is up to your son. No one can do it for him, not even his friend. But it is good to have people in his life that are good examples. I do pray that he finds his footing and changes his life soon for all of your sakes.