LittleDudesMom
Well-Known Member
I haven't read the other replies because I'm so tight on time in the am, but I would like to put my 2 cents in.
From personal experience as well as observation, I believe a two-parent stable home is the ideal. Having said that, I believe that a home filled with discourse, anger, and disrespect between the adults is worse than the effects of a divorce handled with maturity. I believe that children are negatively affected by yelling and screaming parents. I believe children learn what a partner is by the examples that are set for them.
I know that bonehead and I split before we got to the bad stage. We didn't yell or treat each other with disrespect in front of our children - ever. We saved our disdain for when the kids were not there. There were some tough years when we first separated, but I always announced with excitement, "Dad's here!" for the kids. I didn't speak ill of him to the kids. I believe our children adjusted well to the change in their lives because we worked (well mostly me) to make sure that there was little other impact in their lives -- same school, same house, same beds, same friends, etc. Their dad came over 5 or 6 times a week at the beginning. They actually saw him more after he moved out then when he lived here! Rather than work, work, work, he would take time to come and see the children and spend time with them.
So, while I do believe that an intact family is the ideal, I feel that a poor quality intact family can do much damage.
Sharon
From personal experience as well as observation, I believe a two-parent stable home is the ideal. Having said that, I believe that a home filled with discourse, anger, and disrespect between the adults is worse than the effects of a divorce handled with maturity. I believe that children are negatively affected by yelling and screaming parents. I believe children learn what a partner is by the examples that are set for them.
I know that bonehead and I split before we got to the bad stage. We didn't yell or treat each other with disrespect in front of our children - ever. We saved our disdain for when the kids were not there. There were some tough years when we first separated, but I always announced with excitement, "Dad's here!" for the kids. I didn't speak ill of him to the kids. I believe our children adjusted well to the change in their lives because we worked (well mostly me) to make sure that there was little other impact in their lives -- same school, same house, same beds, same friends, etc. Their dad came over 5 or 6 times a week at the beginning. They actually saw him more after he moved out then when he lived here! Rather than work, work, work, he would take time to come and see the children and spend time with them.
So, while I do believe that an intact family is the ideal, I feel that a poor quality intact family can do much damage.
Sharon