Do others sabotage your dieting efforts??

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
I have gotten off track and I have no one to blame but myself. This I know and I take full responsibility!

That said, it sure is difficult to remain on task with my diet while still needing to feed a family. I mean, it's just H and difficult child, but still - H is a bread eater...he eats it with every meal. And on top of that, he loves potatos and pastas. And on top of that, he likes to eat out a lot, mostly because I don't cook much during the week. I am beat out by day's end after work and I haven't been very organized lately, so he often wants to run out and grab something.

Because of that situation, I am having a hard time sticking with my diet. It's not that restricting, but it is to a degree and it's hard to eat out and not eat foods that I shouldn't really be eating. On the one hand, H is telling me how great I'm doing and how I look great...he even said I was beginning to look a little thick(!!) but that now I look like better. So, I have to get more organized with making meals. For a while I was making HUGE meals and then freezing them for him. That didn't last as he was (IS) never in the mood for what I make. It doesn't seem to matter, he doesn't want what I cook. So, you might say, stop cooking...but that brings me back to the original issue - eating out too much and going off my diet.

Anyone else feel derailed from their diets by their family's meal needs??

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
It is hard when people sabotage your healthy eating efforts. I don't have that problem with husband because he'll eat whatever I decide to make and is trying to lose some weight too. As for the kids, I know I shouldn't but I often let them choose something else because if I cooked what they liked I would gain a ton of weight. Mostly just difficult child eats different.

Mostly, unfortunately, I sabotage myself.

I agree planning is one of the best things because then we don't tend to grab things on the run but it sounds like even that is difficult at your house. What if you agreed to eating in a few nights a week and eating out 1 or 2 nights?


(the future) MRS. GERE
Jo, the last couple of years I was married, my then-husband always wanted to eat out, too. In order to maintain any kind of diet I did a couple of things...I would drink a glass of nonfat milk before we left the house to fill up so I didn't overeat...or, I would order an appetizer as a dinner instead of a full dinner....or a cup/bowl of soup....or if I did order a dinner I literally cut everything in half (at least) and made sure I only ate one side of the line. And I also ate slowly. That probably made the biggest difference.

The hardest thing for me was the snacks he used to want to have in the house. I stocked up on 60 calorie yogurts to snack on. Not very exciting but it got me through some rough times.

Good luck.



I need to lose about 15 pounds. With my work schedule I really eat very little. Snack a little at work, usually some crackers. Eat just something small when I get home, then to bed and start over. Could not figure out why I was gaining weight. Then someone pointed it out. I drink about 4 - 5 cokes in my waking hours. Regular Coke Classic. Then the "something small" that I usually eat when i get home prior to bed. It is an Hot Fudge Sundae. Didn't seem the harm in these two since I eat nothing else. I really need a whole new approach to this diet thing.

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
My mother is huge. She's always so baffled as to why she's so huge...she describes her daily diet as a couple of peices of toast with her morning coffee, maybe a little jam. Then she might have a small grilled cheese sandwich or a ham sandwich for lunch with more tea. Then mid afternoon, when she gets hungry again, she will 'only have' a little slice of toast with some more tea. And often she doesn't feel like cooking so she'll just have some more toast and tea. Well, duh, mom, can all that white toast and tea be a problem?? She does not eat much but what she does eat is unhealthy. She's currently seeing a nutritionist to help her get her diabetes under control and she called me the other day and was so annoyed that the dietician told her she must eat 5 times a day and gave her a list of foods that were okay. Unfortunately, some of the foods on that list are my mother's favorite foods, like toast, so that's all she's eating!! The list also contained fresh fruits, salads and lean proteins - does mother eat that stuff? No, because she actually has to prepare it and she can't be bothered. Short of either myself or one of my siblings making her every meal, she will continue to eat unhealthily. I don't want to end up like that. She's so unhappy and gets in her own way all the time. But at 84, it will be difficult for her to change her habits.

I am determined to stick with my diet and H will simply accept that if he wants to have a healthier wife, he will have to eat what I make and not eat out so much.

easy child is coming home from college this weekend and since she is enrolled in a baking and pastry arts degree program, she will be bringing home all sorts of goodies!! Yikes!


New Member
I am on EDiets at the moment and so far so good, although I did backpeddle about 1.5 lbs this week. Yes, sometimes my family will say things to me while I am putting food in my mouth such as "Is THAT on your diet?!". Makes me a bit defensive...
KjS, it sounds like your putting your body into "starvation" mode by not eating enough 'good things'. You shouldn't have to go hungry to loose weight. Remember that so called "free foods" are things like raw vegetables (carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, etc) so always have a nice big salad with your meals. Use a couple of tablespoons of low cal dressing. I LOVE that Paul Newman's honey dijon mustard one. Yum! And watch your portions...but don't make anything off limits...just find substitutions: for the hot fudge sundae: try Skinny Cow ice cream bars, they are GREAT!
Check out this site too for ideas: Hungry Girl
Good luck everyone!
I wonder if it would help if you tried to think about it differently? Find a picture in a magazine and tape it to the fridge to help you remember how much better everything is going to be in just a few more months. This is going to sound goofy, but if there is an actress you admire (say, Katherine Hepburn), imagine how she might approach the decision to bring her body back to where she wants it. What would her attitude toward all that good food that is going to derail her program be?

Try that on for yourself.

There is a book called French Women Don't Get Fat. That author believes the secret to be that a taste of something is enough. Refuse yourself nothing ~ but only three mouthfuls and then, into the trash it goes. This author also believes that, however chaotic our lives are, if we relax before we eat ANYTHING, we will eat less and enjoy our meal, more. Her ultimate tip was that taking joy in our meals was the key to bringing us back into control. If we wait until we can enjoy whatever it is, if we have only as much as we really want, if we take the time ~ even if we are the only ones in our family who are doing it ~ to have a glass of wine before dinner (or skim milk, as Suz suggested) we are putting ourselves back in control.

The other thing I believe is that fat free is a bad idea. Fat is what helps us to know we have eaten enough. Especially if we are eating fat free sugary things, we are setting ourselves up to eat and eat and eat and never feel satiated. (The sugar will call for insulin production, the insulin will call for more energy foods ~ and there you are.)

And I think we should all allow ourselves a binge day or two once in a while when we are dieting. Again, it is the issue of who decides what we eat. That way, you don't ever have to give up anything you really love (Snickers bars and peanut M&Ms, for me!)

But you are the one who consciously chooses.

That takes the guilt out of it.

Also, popcorn ~ not microwave ~ prepared without butter (I use parmesan cheese)will get you through the evening.

Straight peanut butter from a spoon is a good thing, too.

Apples and cottage cheese make a satisfying and nutritious lunch.

Wishing you well, Jo ~ and congratulations on your progress so far!



Sue C

Active Member
husband and Melissa will say, "let's go for custard (more fattening than ice cream, I think) or gelato (Italian ice cream--new place just opened up by a nice family that came over from Italy a few years back)" and I cannot resist eating some right along with them! We also eat out too often and that means french fries. If there are no sweets in the house, I'm fine. If they are in the house (and husband and Melissa buy them!), I eat them. Where's my willpower???

Good luck to you, Jo. I need help, too.


hearts and roses

Mind Reader
Since I posted this thread, I've actually been better about not giving in to temptation!

Two nights in a row, I ate my food and fixed H something else. He didn't seem bothered by my having my shake as opposed to having a cheeseburger (which looked awesome).

It is VERY difficult for me to pass up ice cream when H wants to go get some. I try to substitute by having either italian ices or sherbert, but I really love coconut ice cream and it's hard to resist.

Today I am doing a fast. I am determined to lose these last 12 lbs - Argh!

Best of luck to you all.

I know what you mean - It's hard to stick to a diet when you have a family to feed. husband used to be really bad about me being so careful. He would constantly want to go out to an Italian restaurant or bring home a pizza.

I finally really yelled at him a number of years ago. I explained to him that he can eat what he wants but I'm going to watch what goes into my mouth. He used to tell me I was no fun because I wouldn't indulge with him.

After I explained to him how angry it made me when he kept trying to get me to eat what he wanted, he stopped. He finally got the message. Every now and then he'll still slip up though. Usually he is good about it.

I always eat a salad with dinner. If I make a pasta dish, I just serve myself less on a smaller plate. If I make garlic bread to go with it, I just don't eat it.

I am a major chocoholic!!! I buy junk food for my kids that I don't like. Believe it or not, usually I'm a picky junk food eater!!! (I do slip up if I'm eating because of emotional reasons - but that's a whole different thread). I guess I should be glad I'm usually so picky!!!

Anyway, I don't really think there is such a thing as willpower. I think eventually, if there is something lying around that you LOVE, you'll eat it. Or, even worse, eat everything in sight but not what you really want. This is even worse because you still won't be satisfied...

If you love coconut icecream, what about mixing some fruit into it? I do this with frozen yogurt all the time. I feel like I've eaten more than I really have. It works for me.

I like Barbara's idea. I usually keep a swimsuit handy at all times. Putting it on gives me the motivation to stay on track. I also force myself to get on the scale when I don't want to. Every now and then I need a bit of a reality check...

You are determined. You will lose those 12lbs.!!! I know I've said this before, but I really like this saying, so I'll repeat it again - "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels". Someone I used to work with a long time ago taught me this one. I think she got it from Weight Watcher's.

You are determined to lose those last 12lbs. You WILL do it!!! I think you're doing a great job. Losing weight and keeping it off is a lifetime commitment. It is almost as hard as raising difficult children!!! :rofl:

Keep us posted on your progress. WFEN


New Member
JoG, don't fast, you will put your body into "starvation mode". The weight won't come off that way.
You must eat to lose weight....I know it sounds weird but it is the truth.
It is WHAT you eat that matters.
Eating a salad with your noon and evening meals is a great idea.
If not, you just substitute 1/2 cup of cooked vegetables.
Remember fiber (high fiber cereals, apples, etc) will help keep you feeling full and not hungry.
Stock up on yummy substitutions. Some of my favorites at the moment:
Quaker mini rice cakes chocolate flavor
jello no sugar cups
low fat pudding cups (mix chocolate one with a graham cracker...tastes like chocolate pie!)
I think we need to keep this thread going and share ideas. We can support each other.