easy child turning.....

[tracy551]

into difficult child???? Well tonight I confronted easy child 1. I have suspected he's been smoking pot. (just little things give it away--mom's not stupid) I asked him if he's been doing this and what a surprise--he's suddenly stopped. When???? When I faced him with it??? I told him your going to be 19 you get caught your going to go to jail. Well he blew up and all of the sudden I'm now "such a wonderful mother" What the h*ll??? He's mad at me because I confronted him!!! :grrr: And then he brings up difficult child(whose in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) by the way) he has nothing to do with this. Could it be the guilt that made him blow up???? :hammer: I can't imagine.
You know if he doesn't like it here, living rent free, clean clothes ,food, all utilities paid he can go someplace else to ruin his life. He thinks I'm going to apoligize for confronting him. I think NOT. :nonono:
He has yet to visit difficult child maybe because all those times when difficult child said easy child 1 was smoking dope he was telling the truth. I thought difficult child was just trying to push the blame off himself, but he wasn't and I owe difficult child an apology for not believing him. Maybe easy child feels guilty for sharing his "stash" difficult child at times and can't face him now. I don't know.
One thing I do know I've done all I can for my boys and I get sh*t on and I'M TIRED OF IT!!!!!!!!
Sorry for venting all just at the end of my rope with this. difficult child for years and now "easy child 1" I can't take this. :smile:

 

[everywoman]

Often the pressures of living with a difficult child gets to our others. I know that my other two have a lot of issues surround difficult child. They love him, but realize that he took a lot of time away from them and the family. Because of his actions, our family life suffered for years. Maybe instead of confronting him you can find some literature on drug counseling, drug laws, and leave them lying around. The difference between a easy child and a difficult child is that a easy child will make mistakes, but will learn from them---it seems to me that a difficult child will make the same mistake over and over again without thought to consequences.

 

[DammitJanet]

Ok ok...calm down. I know you are upset and this has to be a huge blow but your easy child is still your easy child. He is a 18 almost 19 year old teen boy who is doing what most kids that age do. They experiment.

If he is responsible and hard working in all other aspects of his life then I wouldnt have a cow just yet. He knows the consequences to his actions. Thats why he is a easy child.

He will find his way.

 

[tracy551]

Thanks Janet. I just got so angry that he would try to blame me for all this. I did not yell at him I wanted to talk, but he stormed off. If he felt he needed to talk about this I was willing to listen without judging. I still am. Maybe he'll calm down and want to talk. I don't know. He's at work right now (works 3rd shift) Maybe he'll want to talk in the morning maybe not.

 

[DammitJanet]

Of course he is gonna want to blame you! He is still a kid in a mans skin...lol.

I heard a something about just this sort of thing on Dr Phil today. This Dr was on who had written a book called The Mindful Brain I think and he was talking about how teens brains dont fully develop the prefrontal lobes completely until the mid 20s I think he said and then he went on to say how when you angry and upset you talk with emotions from the midbrain area. This is animalistic behavior and fight or flight activity.

It went on to discuss how to calm down and speak nicely and yada yada. But it was basically saying that you have to stop using that knee jerk reaction because all you will get is another knee jerk reaction back.

 

[branbran]

Janet,

You always sound so together. You always have calming advice and wise words for all of us. I hope to get to where you are one day. :smile:

Tracy,

I know how you feel, being a parent (even to easy child children) is often times a thankless job!! You give and you give and you give and don't get much in return. :frown:
That being said, I agree with Janet, if he is on the right track and smoking a little pot, well it ain't the end of the world.
I'm sure he will be just fine. Hang in there.