Enough is enough....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Apr 3, 2012.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    The last 5 years have been hell on wells....let's face it ladies, a brain injury & my husband dying have taken me to my knees. The tweedles have kept me down on my knees.

    After kt's "antics" a couple of weeks ago & the ensuing chaos (i.e. commitment proceedings, appeals, & discharge home) have made me rethink my life. Along with my therapist's blessing I'm putting up brick walls to protect myself from kt & wm's nonsense.

    Observe & report ~ that is my role now. Observe & report.

    I can no longer live in terror over kt & wm's poor choices. Choices that resulted in kt being beaten & burnt by cigarettes & then left way & hell & gone.

    I'm in the process of taking tests to go back to school. I'm hoping to have a job in the next year or so. I may put my home on the market; not sure about that yet as I want to enjoy my home after all the work I've put into it. husband & I created a home here, a sanctuary if you will, before the tweedles arrived.

    I've another staff mtg this afternoon to discuss kt's choices for the future. She wants to go to an assisted living apartment situation. No where near close to that ~ she'll have to accept the help to achieve that goal. kt will be welcome to live here if she honors the rules here.

    However, I'm moving ahead. I will no longer be held hostage by kt or wm.

  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I've been wondering about you, Linda, It's good to hear from you and I'm so glad for these choices you are making for you! You have a life to live and you're choosing to live it according to YOU - that's wonderful! Taking care of you doesn't mean you don't care about wm or kt, it just means you're choosing what's healthy for you and you won't allow anyone to kick you in the teeth again and again.

    Sending warm, gentle hugs! Congrats on the decision to return to school - good luck! I love going to school as an adult, it's so much better!
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Good for you, Linda---

    It's time. I am glad you are putting up walls, and making arrangements for YOU.
  4. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I've been thinking about you too Linda. And I think that is a very wise and healthy choice for you to make.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Like the rest of the family I want the very best for you and your future. "Observe and report" sounds like a method to assure detachment but if in reality you would have Kt living in your home....I don't see how that provides you freedom to choose your future. I "get" you wouldn't be pursuing her if she skipped out at night but on the other hand she could easily "again" manage to bring someone undesirable into the sanctity of your home and put you both in danger.

    Obviously I am no expert on your complex predicament but I really hope that you can have the next years to completely focus on you and your future. Hugs DDD
  6. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    I'm glad that you are taking care of you! It sounds like you are setting up appropriate walls to protect yourself. ((hugs))
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Good for you Linda!!! It's about time your world does not revolve around them. You have gone above and beyond, in my humble opinion. Now, it is LINDA time!!! You go girl!
  8. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    I'm glad that you are focusing on your life for a change. You are very much on the road to detachment. Keep it up!
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    As always, Linda, you are in my prayers. I think it is very good that you are going to be taking care of you. (((hugs)))
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Having only been through the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and losing my husband part, I couldn't imagine trying to cope with wm and katie type issues right now. I have marveled at how you've managed while worrying what toll it was taking on your well being.

    I think it a wise decision. At 17 your world should no longer revolve around them, whether they're sick or well, they have to learn to find their own way and learn to accept the help that is offered and that they need to be successful functioning adults.

    I'm glad you're shifting your focus to taking care of you.

  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    You are always in my thoughts. We need to talk!

    Good for you for grabbing your future by the horns!

  12. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    One can only do so much, 10 can only do so much. They will be who they will be now. You have provided a fabulous foundation for them to refer back to, besides the awful one they started life with. That is the best anyone could do for these two children. You have given them things to look back upon and think about. I just hope they do, but that is all anyone can do at this point is hope.

    I am sorry for Kt that she was abused once again.

    I am very glad you are working on you now!! You have been ignored for too long!! Way To Go!
  13. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    thank you ladies.

    DDD, I have the same concerns about kt living here. Suffice it to say, the team is doubling efforts to keep kt on track. Her Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) hours have been increased & we're working on skills that will get her into transitional living within the next 6-9 months. kt knows that if she lands in the phospital again an automatic commitment proceeding will follow & she will likely be committed. With our court system it's supposed a 3 times you're out kind of deal ~ we'll see.

    I have appts for further tests & such to attend school. As kt will likely be home for a while more her adoption subsidy will continue until she moves out permanently. That will help me financially to do the school thing. My ultimate goal is to go back to work as full time as I am able.

    I'm researching a golf league or two for this summer. I also plan to attend a few art courses & start my piano lessons again.

  14. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Good for you Linda. I still admire your stamina, despite the events you've endured. You are such a wonderful lady and deserve time to take care of YOU now. I am very proud of you!!