Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.


New Member
Wow - I'm pretty floored by the insight and wisdom of these posts. They virtually all carry the same message of letting our kids' problems become their own and theirs alone as the key for gaining any kind of peace for us. I just returned from my first Al-Anon meeting and was also struck by how life-changing many find the 12 steps. To me, they're a bit out there but because of the serenity so many there possessed with equally challenging situations, and some worse, I'm going to give it a try (but at another group with more give and take/feedback - this group had none). I MADE my son go to a meeting tonight, his first in probably 6 months, and I know that's not part of the 12 steps or detaching or any of the work we're supposed to be doing, but I'm just not at that point yet. The fact is that I'm on a roller coaster and at times I give up with this kid and others I think I can fix him. I see glimmers of hope, like my conversation with him tonight, and it changes my anger and hopelessness to a possibility that things might some day be okay, and that I fiercely love him but recall many times I even question that. Messed-up and all over the map, but at least a glimmer tonight after a very bad stretch in recent months (but maybe fleeting...).