Evaluation for inpatient placement

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MommaK, Oct 11, 2016.

  1. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    Tomorrow my daughter goes for evaluating for inpatient placement. At this point even if placed I don't expect much improvement. My child has everyone but my snowed into believing the mess she says. I have seen her operate. She will comply as a means to an end. If the end is not what she wants she will go off the deep end again. I'm over the roller coaster of crazy chaos. My in laws and husband don't want my input at this point. I may have raised her, but apparently I don't matter. OVER IT ALL!!! Now repeating "Not my circus. Not my monkeys." constantly to remind myself that that is the place I have been put in and how I need to react at this point.
  2. TargetPractice

    TargetPractice Fakin' it 'til I make it!

    I'm sorry you're going through this with your daughter, my oldest son is the same age, and has performed a similar snowjob. It's a truly frustrating situation, especially the lack of support from family. Hugs and strengthening thoughts your way!
  3. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    My stepson does this too. He has shut us out. Meanwhile he is failing and his hapless father will do nothing. I suspect his father is afraid of my stepson who can become violent if he is held accountable. Best of luck to you.
  4. Sister's Keeper

    Sister's Keeper Active Member


    That's horrible. I feel so bad for you. Being a step-parent can be so hard, and you have done so much for your daughter to now, suddenly, be told that your opinion doesn't matter is so wrong.

    I agree with you. If that is the way they want it, "Not your monkeys, not your circus."

    I would also make it very clear that if you opinion means so little then you, obviously, shouldn't have any responsibility. either.

    I would let dad and the grandparents be the ones that have to run around to doctors, lawyers, therapists, hospitals, and police stations.
  5. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    She was admitted inpatient for at least the next 7-10 days. She just finished 14 weeks of partial inpatient treatment. All this place is doing different is changing her medication. They will try to teach her coping skills. How she can learn in 7-10 days what she already learned and refuses to put into action from partial inpatient, I don't know. Obviously she is in a lock down unit. Had they not shut me out I could have told them what to expect. Instead the fact that she can't have anything with a cord, shoe laces, the unit is locked down, etc... came as a surprise to them. It kills me that I am having to watch my 14 year old that I have raised for the last 13 years suffer mental illness and the people that love her but don't understand what she is dealing with. I have not seen her since Sunday and I can't speak to her until Saturday and then only see her with them for an hour Sunday.
  6. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    Once again I know firsthand the frustration you're experiencing. My stepson is doomed to a life of failure because of his stubbornness and mental illness. We can do nothing. Once his enabling father dies, he will be homeless. He's just 16 so I guess I should give him a chance but he's been this way all of his life. He won't magically change and anyone who tries to (even gently) explain to him the realities of life, his situation....he shuts them out, and if he can't do that he acts out violently. Even his best case scenario is not good. In a worst case, he will kill - either himself, or someone else. We get it, keep posting, it helps. Best of luck.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    When my son got older we found short term inpatient stays to be useless. Esp after he confessed that 2 of them were set up to meet girls and have private time with them. The hospital for teens in our area had mixed gender wards so girls and boys had the same therapy time and would sneak away from the adults who supposedly were in charge. And for that we got to pay huge fees. A hotel would have been a LOT cheaper. Sigh. That ended and the entire inpatient leadership changed after a number of girls got pregnant and their parents proved it happened on the hospital ward. This was 2 years after my son's last stay there.

    You might look into something like Boys Town for her. We had a placement lined up for my son that would have been from age 14 to age 18 or high school graduation, but chose instead to let my parents try first. We got lucky and it worked, but had he EVER gotten violent with them he would have gone to a placement like Boys town. Period. I will say that my mother did apologize to me after he was there for a month. She had NO idea how bad he was or what he would do/say to get his own way until then. She thought I was exaggerating everything, lolololol!!! I did appreciate the apology. And all she did for my son. She did the disappointment thing and the manners and my dad did the wearing down and relentless monitoring for the first year until he accepted that rules were going to happen and so were consequences.
  8. Tylersmom1979

    Tylersmom1979 Member

    My son was in residential for nine months. It helped. He will never be perfect but he is a lot better now than when he went in
  9. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    They took her off of all medication but her birth control. She may only be 14 but this day in age and with certain mental illness sexual promiscuity has a tendency to increase. I'd rather her be on it than her get pregnant. I talk to her repeatedly about safe sex. They did put her on Abilify. I'm hoping this will help, but I also know to expect more ups and downs on this roller coaster. School is good for her right now. The boy that helped her run away has dropped out all together. Guess when she wasn't there for almost 2 weeks he figured there was no point in going. She is still living with her grandparents. It's frustrating, but it is how it is and all we can do is keep showing her we are in her life and want to be in her life.
  10. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    Oh the psychiatrist at the inpatient programtold us he has seen 100s of kids but she is probably the best he has seen at manipulating people. He said she watches people and figures out who and how to manipulate and then she does. It's scary to think that your 14 year old treats people like her puppets.