ex girlfriend filed

[SunnyFlorida]

Well...it was bound to happen sooner or later. exgf filed for child support. She served difficult child 1 on tuesday. 2wks ago she left a message for husband on his cell that she wanted to talk to only him.

I explained to husband my reasons for him not talking with her alone. Manipulation being #1. Speaking to us as a couple #2, and using anything he says against difficult child 1 as #3. husband didn't quite believe me so I had our old counselor call him. husband didn't meet with her and she called him and said anytime we wanted to see the baby we could yada, yada, yada.

I think what she really wanted to do was to tell husband she was planning on filing and husband would say, you do what you have to do, or you probably should have done that or something to that effect and then she would turn it around and tell difficult child 1 "your parents told me to file" etc, etc.

Anyways............we've got legal documents! Yuck.

She wants difficult child to pay her legal fees, child support, etc. She put something in there about..."....requests that either a parent facilitator be appointed in this case or that a custody evaluation be performed to assist in the visitation of the minor child..."

Does that mean she only wants difficult child to have the baby around us and not necessarily by himself?

Since we are already assisting difficult child with housing et al, we'll be talking to a family law person on Monday.

Any thoughts ideas?

 

[DDD]

%$)*&%_)&%&$+_)|+&%# !!!!!!!!!!! DDD

 

[DammitJanet]

This doesnt sound good to me. It sounds like she is going to use his problems against him with the baby and try to limit visitation. Ick!

 

[ScentofCedar]

Well, I think DDD's comment was pretty good!

Barbara

 

[Hound dog]

Sounds like she is trying to get supervised visitation, at least.

I like DDD's expression. And I ditto it.

I have a question for you to ask the lawyer. What valid reason does she have to request difficult child pay her court costs? Is she unable to work to pay her OWN court costs, as difficult child will have to pay his?

Sorry. This sort of thing just irritates the %^%$$^*(( out of me! :grrr:

 

[CAmom]

Sunny, no advice, haven't gotten there yet, but chances are good that I will at some point.

It just never ends, does it????

 

[kris]

<span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #663366"> i'm sorry. i can't remember....has difficult child been paying child support on his own, having visitations???

it's standard practice in situations like this for the person who files the complaint to request the court have the respondant pay thier legal fees.

kris </span> </span> </span>

 

[Suz]

I don't know either, Sunny. I hope it's standard procedure and it doesn't get too complicated.

Suz

 

[SunnyFlorida]

We offerred difficult child a chance to take her to court and file for child support on multiple occassions. He didn't want to do this because "they" wanted to avoid the legal process.

He has paid a "child support" of sort $100/wk when he is working. It becomes difficult when he is not working. She accepted the agreed upon support but then would ask for more. He didn't have more and that just sets him off. Then the two would argue and fight over seeing the child. Never ending battle.

The good thing is the papers don't say anything about him assuming the health insurance part, it does want him to get and keep a life insurance policy. No way will he be able to keep health insurance. It's not even clear if he can maintain a job yet!

He is going to school and it's been 2wks. We'll see. It's been difficult finding good employment due to his record which is available online. Employers are not necessarily entertaining interviews or conversations when they can pick and choose who they want. Temporary employment firms is who he has been employed with. No benefits, no questions.

There's a part of me that just wished she would have left and had the baby and never entered our lives. Yes I know this sounds "unusual" but everything that I predicted about this pregnancy and birth is coming to fruition.

 

[DammitJanet]

I can understand your pain Sunny. This is going to be difficult for all of you. Being the paternal grandparents is a hard place to be. I live in a constant nagging fear that at any time the kids can be snatched out of our lives.

Hope he has kept receipts showing what he has paid her in the past. If he is like Cory, somehow I doubt he has. Thankfully, right now things are moving along well for us. I guess its well...we have them all living with us. At least we know where everyone is and that everyone is ok. And we dont have child support breathing down our necks since the baby is living with both parents...lol.

 

[rejectedmom]

Sunny, This filing might actually work in your difficult child's better intrest. The court (not her) will decide what he can afford to pay in child support. She cannot harrass him for more without taking him to court. With no abuse on record and difficult child clean and not using I doubt that the supervised visits will be something that sticks around indefinately. EX will have to continuously make bogus reports. Then there will be investigations by CPS but eventually they will see that the complaints are unfounded and not take her too seriously after that. I am sorry for the mess.
-RM

 

[ScentofCedar]

This has been such a long, hard road for you, Sunny.

I was thinking about you today. This is probably foolish, but there is no way girlfriend could hit you and husband up for child support, is there?

It seems funny to me that she would call and ask to talk to husband just before filing.

I think you handled everything really well.

Barbara

 

[KFld]

I totally agree with DDD's first remark!!

 

[Loris]

I'm so sorry. It's so sad when this stuff happens.

 

[Stella Johnson]

At least it will set in stone what he has to pay. Then she has no standing for asking for more.

In TX if the father can not provide insurance he must pay the amount the mother pays for ins. My ex has to pay me back for her insurance that I carry on her.

It does sound like she wants supervised visitation. That is not an easy thing to get. Took me years and lots of money to get that for my difficult child. You have to prove them to be a complete loser and have documented proof of such. (In TX anyway)

Honestly, I think a court order will help iron things out. It is expensive though and I would suggest he get his own attorney.

Steph

 

[Coookie]

Aw Sunny... :frown:

I agree with DDD...

Hugs