Fickle about her new job.....good grief!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Sue C, Mar 6, 2007.

  1. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Yesterday Melissa came home and said she thought the job was FUN! This morning she got mad because I would not make her lunch. Of course, that set her off so she said that she didn't like the job and that she was going to quit because they did not even have a locker for her (she told us yesterday they did not have enough lockers and that she was supposed to leave her purse at home and just hang her coat on a rack).

    Flick a switch....she's having fun at her new job. Flick a switch....she doesn't like the job because she does not have a locker and mom would not make her lunch. :rofl:

    p.s. She said now she would just have to starve because of me and just eat junk food. Poor baby.

  2. Ally

    Ally New Member

    Well, Im thinking if she is old enough to have a job then she can make her own lunch, or starve if she is not willing. Her choice.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Well how dare you not make her lunch! Sheesh.

    I dont even make husband's lunch much less one of the kids lunches.
  4. Loris

    Loris New Member

    I would think she would realize she has a choice, make lunch or be hungry. I guess that's too much to ask of our difficult children. I feel for you, mine can be the same way too often!
  5. KFld

    KFld New Member

    She'll go hungry for a day and then realize if she had made her own lunch, she wouldn't have been hungry!! What a realization?????
  6. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Way back when Melissa was in elementary school, here is how I "packed" her lunch:

    1) sent along a "Lunchable"
    2) bought hot lunch tickets for the school cafeteria
    3) husband made her lunch -- haha

    Why in the world would she think I'd make her lunch now that she's 21??!! LOL

  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    A 21 year old expects mom to pack her a lunch? That is so ludicrous that it defies logic. -RM
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Oh honestly, Sue. I hope you either laughed at her or walked out.


  9. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    I think my kids have made their lunches since they were, oh, 12 years old or so. And that INCLUDES Saturdays and Sundays, unless we are out somewhere. The only meal that is prepared for them and that we all sit down and eat is supper.
  10. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Suz -- I walked into another room without saying a word. She left minutes later by slamming the front door. It didn't bother me.

    I was just wondering what to make for dinner or if I should ride along with husband to pick up a car hood he has to airbrush a mural on and just grab something on the way home. We wouldn't be back until about an hour after Melissa would get home. She hates being alone in the house. She's going to be very hungry. What to do, what to do. Hmmmm...

  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    I am the chief cook and bottle washer in the house now. Lord I thought that title had passed but since the house is filling up again I have to cook more than I would like to. I even had to go out and actually buy a bottle brush again...something I thought I was long past

    I make probably 4 meals a week and keep food in the house that they can fix for themselves for the rest of the time. husband and I go out to eat a couple of times on the weekends. Sometimes we bring food home, sometimes we take someone with us, sometimes not. Many times the someone we bring with us is the She is pleasant company.

    Cory and Lindsey buy and fix food for themselves quite often. They sometimes eat what we fix. I dont sweat it.

    Tonite I have called and asked husband to pick up dinner simply because I am sick and not feeling well enough to even think about entering the kitchen. Burgers it will be for everyone but me. I will get soup and ginger ale.
  12. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Well, I decided to go along with husband and we ate at A&W Rootbeer on the way home. We don't have one near us so it was a real treat.

    We got home and Melissa was here. She started crying and said her throat hurt a lot (I know she's had a sore throat all week and she sounds hoarse). She said she hit her head on something steel, and she does have a lump/bruise on the side of her forehead. She said she didn't get an order filled fast enough and was upset about that. She said she hates the job; it's too tiring being on her feet all day. She has blisters from the work boots. Her pink eye seems to be back (she did not use the eye drops as she was directed). blah blah blah Poor baby.

    Then...she DEMANDS that husband go pick her up a pizza. husband was willing to give her the money to pick one up, but she said she didn't feel good enough to go out. husband refused. Yea for husband!! She ended up making herself a can of chicken noodle soup.

    Then at 10 pm, she announces she's going to a friend's house (1/2 hour away) to visit and stay overnight. Friend is an old friend from middle school who is NOT a good influence, and she has only recently reconnected with him after not seeing him for five years. However, friend told her the roads are too slippery for her to come out, so she went to bed. She is so stubborn that she won't take any Tylenol or throat lozenges. Oh well, then be sick!

    Earlier she said she is not going in tomorrow and she is quitting. husband told her if she quits, she cannot live here...unless she has another job lined up and starts it immediately. Will husband keep his word???

  13. Loris

    Loris New Member

    I sure hope he sticks to it. I think that may be what it takes to make her wake up. I'm sorry she's being such a pill. It does get bitter to swallow.
  14. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Sounds to me like she is gearing up to blow this job. I hope husband sticks to his word. What he needs to tell her is that she cannot quit, until she has another job to move right into, because she is not allowed to live there if she's not working, period.

    She's a tough one, huh??
  15. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style="color: #993399">i cook sunday dinner & that's it. both my kids work evening shifts for the most part & sunday is the only night we are all home. the rest of the week it's YoYo or You're On Your Own lol. your daughter would starve to death in my home lol.

    sarah's been working at mcD's for about nine months now. every couple of months she comes home frustrate beyond belief saying she wants to quit. rule is find another job then you can quit....but not before & make sure you give proper notice. so far she hasn't put out much effort to find another job & she's scheduled to be in management training this summer.

    hope husband sticks to his proclamation.

  16. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'>Sue, difficult child finished 2 days of work. He complained his feet hurt, his back hurt, he couldn't understand his co workers, his manager yelled about glasses not being out(difficult child reads this to mean he is getting yelled at). I think difficult child just wanted to be acknowledged that he did something. I told him he was starting at the bottom of the totem pole and if he didn't follow through no one would hire him for a better job. He has to show perseverance.
    I told him it was a really hard job and that I'm sure everything will hurt for a while but he got through 2 days,it will get easier. There were a lot of folks that had to do this to feed themselves and families. If they could do it so could difficult child.
    I reminded him he had a better,easier job that he screwed up. He admitted that he was scared that he was going to do the same thing.

    I keep trying to put this whole situation in context so he doesn't over think it and do something stupid. I keep reminding him of his paycheck, his improved self esteem for doing a hard job etc, etc. I'm not sure he is buying it but it seems to calm the natural opposition in him for a bit.

    I know the real world is intimidating to difficult child but you add his own ability to shoot himself in the foot and it will be a miracle if he can complete a month.

    I hear you about fickle difficult child's. They want to work but they don't want to work. :hammer: </span>
  17. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Fran -- thanks for helping me with the kinds of things to say to Melissa. I explained to her this morning that it was hard work and it would take awhile to get used to it. She responded quietly, "whatever."

    However, she was surprisingly in a pretty good mood this morning. Her pink eye looks bad again. She let me put the drops in (she doesn't know how to herself), but she wouldn't take them along. She said she doesn't know how to put them in and besides, her hands would be dirty. I asked if she could ask someone else to help her and she said she didn't know anyone else. Oh well, I guess her eye will never clear up at this rate. (sigh)

    She put band aides on the blisters on her feet and off she went to work. Oh yeah, she said today they were having a free lunch at work so she didn't have to pack her lunch. Lunch problem solved for today. hahahaha I'll bet she packs her own lunch tomorrow. :smile:

  18. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Sue, this would be a very good time to start teaching her life/survival putting drops in her eyes, cooking, continuing to sleep in her own room etc. Hopefully, as Melissa gains more experience and learns how to function independently, her confidence will develop and she won't feel that she has to attack everyone and everything when something new crops up.

  19. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Suz -- That is good advice. She sure needs life/survival skills. I don't know how to teach her to put her eye drops in if she won't even try??

    Sometimes she sleeps in the living room with the TV and light on and sometimes she sleeps in her bedroom with the light on all night (she does not have a TV in her room). One night she was asleep in her room with her light on. husband turned it off when he got up to let the dog out during the night. In the morning, she was on the couch asleep with the TV on. Apparently, she must have woke up to the dark and got scared. But...thank goodness she does not sleep on our floor anymore!!

    p.s. I was thinking today how we didn't teach Melissa survival skills and how we babied her. Yet we never taught Angela these things, and she was very independent from second grade on. It was just something I was thinking today 'cuz I was feeling like maybe I was a bad parent in raising Melissa. But then I smacked myself in the head and realized it's not me. :smile:

  20. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Lo and Behold -- Melissa came home in a GOOD mood today! She said she wasn't as tired as yesterday. The bandaides helped the blisters on her feet. They had a paid one-hour free lunch (otherwise they only get 15 minutes) and she met some of the other people. She found out if they go something like 90 days without missing a day, they get a $75 bonus. She was thrilled about that! Oh............and she now has her own locker. :smile: