Finally Updating About All the Stupidity...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Oct 7, 2011.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Sorry it's been so long....

    When we last left off - Idiot Caseworker's Regional Manager basically gave me two options: 1) a Behavior Specialist who would take difficult child out into the community or 2) Nothing.

    Honestly, I've been so darn fed up, I was ready to go with Option #2.

    But after posting here and doing a lot of discussing with husband - we decided to give the Behavior Specialist a try.

    Now, hang on to your hats - here's where it gets really ridiculous:

    Idiot Caseworker could not assign a Behavior Spec until she knew what Ms Ally had worked on.
    Ms Ally never filed any case notes with anyone....although Regional Manager claimed that Ms Ally sent a report to Medicaid indicating that difficult child was just find and no longer in need of services...but without those notes, nothing could happen.

    Idiot Caseworker decided to call a meeting to figure out what should happen next. She said that the purpose of the meeting was to "establish treatment goals". She invited to the meeting our regular therapist, a Behavior Spec, Behavior Spec's Boss and Boss's Asst, her District Supervisor, Regional Manager plus us parents. Then, once she had us all in the room - she seemed to have no idea how to run a meeting.

    So therapist basically confronted Idiot Caseworker by asking what had been done on this case so far. Caseworker said she had no idea what the treatment goals were. husband hollered that the treatment goals are the same as the ones we gave her Sept of last year, January of this year, and April of this year. Why does Caseworker not know the goals?

    At first, caseworker gave us a brush-off answer - but then Regional Manager piped up...wondering what those goals were - since Caseworker had never relayed them? husband read off a list of all of our goals....and hearing how extensive it was...Regional Manager began to argue with Caseworker. Idiot Caseworker looked like she was gonna cry and tried to accuse me of never giving her any goals. therapist rose to my defense...and it was really getting ugly...

    And then - miraculously - there were suddenly more services available! Idiot Caseworker said we qualified not only for the Behavior Specialist - but difficult child should have an Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker, too!

    BUT - there would need to be a new meeting to establish treatment goals for Integrated Listening Systems (ILS).

    A few of us questioned why couldn't we just establish those goals while we were sitting there? But no - we were told it would need to be a whole new meeting. Behavior Spec could start Sept 15....but Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) could not start until October 1st after a new meeting. OK - whatever.

    Meeting over.

    THEN I get a call from Ms Ally's Supervisor. therapist had filed a report that we, the parents, were unhappy with Ms Ally's services. So I filled her in on everything that happened. Supervisor seemed surprised. She said Ms Ally quit without notice - but she wasn't worried about us because Ms Ally had indicated that our case was "Resolved". I told her I was upset that that had been filed with Medicaid. Supervisor said that was impossible - Ms Ally does not have the ability to file reports with Medicaid. She accused Regional Manager of lying to me. OK - whatever.

    THEN I get a call from Idiot Caseworker. There will be a delay in Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) services because it is going to take a while to determine the treatment goals. They won't be able to start for another few weeks because it would take a while to get goals approved.

    What??? Didn't we already have this conversation? Nope. Idiot Caseworker needs to have a few more meetings to figure it out. OK - whatever.

    Then I get a call from the Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) service - are we ready to start? I tell them Idiot Caseworker is still working on goals. Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) Svc is confused - they thought things were supposed to start by October 1st? Nope - Idiot Caseworker needs another meeting. So we have to wait until she figures that out...

    And then....the most ridiculous of all...

    I received an "Offical Notification Letter" yesterday from the state. I was being notified that there would be a change in our services since the last time a report had been filed and they were updating our status:

    Our January 2011 Status : ______________(blank)____________________

    was being changed to

    Sept 15 2011 Status : ______________Beginning Behavior Services_______

    Geesh! It's only been NINE MONTHS to go from nothing to something...

    I wonder how long before we get a letter about Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) ? Ooops! Guess there's got to be a few more meetings....

    AAARRGGGHHH!!! This is so far beyond ridiculous! I don't even know what to think any more!
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    if I was a drinking girl, I would say you and I need a drink. Well, we can have a cyber-drink! It is insanity to the nth degree. Integrated Listening Systems (ILS), let me see...independent living....what could we possibly work on??? so very hard to figure out....(dripping sarcasm of course)
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    I'm so sorry.

    Can you request a different caseworker? She sounds like your typical bureaucratic pencil and paper pusher. She keeps shuffling things around long enough, difficult child will be 18 and the problem will be solved.

    Ain't she awesome?
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    What planet have you been on?

    There ARE no options on the caseworker. Its been a problem since long before I came on board.

    You take what you get or you don't get anything.
    DF isn't sure yet whether "taking what you get" results in anything either... but its probably better than the 100% certainty of getting nothing.

    {{hugs}}, DF. Wanna borrow my punching bag?
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DF, you need a lawyer. I bet you get everything you ask for as soon as you lawyer up.

    But, I am sorry that you need that option at all.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I totally agree that you need a lawyer. It may mean a day off work, but pick up the phone and the phone book, get a pad of paper, and call EVERY attorney in your area until you find one to help you pro bono. EVERY atty must do a certain # of hours of pro bono work per year. It is a standard bar assoc regulation. While many go through various groups, you can just call their offices. Also google the state bar assoc and call them to ask how to get a pro bono family law atty.

    Or make appts with the lawyers that do a free consultation. Get a lawyer and you will have all sorts of services. Also, if you got the top bosses info, give them a call on Mon or Tues and tell them that now everything is pushed back because ICW wants more meetings and as you have given her this info many times you feel she is just wasting time hoping you will either get tired and go away or difficult child will be 18 before she has to do something or difficult child will get into legal trouble and be the juvenile justice system's problem and not hers. Ask that boss if you are going to have to get an atty to get ICW to actually DO anything. Sometimes even threatening to get a lawyer works, but I would not bet on that. If the top boss from this meeting does not help, figure out who is the top dog in the state dept of human svcs or whatever agency this person is from. Find the very TOP person and ask why this has happened. I have found that the top person is often terribly embarrassed to have things like this pointed out, esp if you hint that if you get no help from them in say 2 weeks time then you are going to the media.

    Why not start a blog on this? Or post about it in an ad on Craigslist? Name names. They do NOT want publicity about this to get out. It would mess up funding and embarrass a LOT of people. Wait until you talk to the top dog from the meeting, then start putting names somewhere and link it to fb if you can. Heck, see if the state Dept of whatever has a fb page - if not, start one in their name. List all the **** you have gone through, and all the lies and half-truths like "I didnt' get the list". People now seem to check fb for various agencies, and fb listings come up on google too. It might take a few mos but I bet you would end up with others posting similar things. ANd if you direct a reporter to a fb page, well, that looks REALLY bad for the agency.

    If they won't act because it is their job, maybe a bit of public shame would do the job?
  7. zba189

    zba189 Guest

    I don't know if this will be helpful or not to you, but regarding a lawyer you can contact NAMI. We are currently working with a lawyer regarding our health insurance and we found him through NAMI. I called their national number and told them that I needed a lawyer who was well versed in mental health and services denied and granted. They transfered me to one of their lawyers who listened to me and then gave me the name of two different firms in my area. The lawyer from NAMI told me that if I didn't get the help I needed to call her back and she would be more than happy to help me find someone who could help. Our lawyers fee has been so small and he is doing a great job. He was very knowledgeable with mental health issues. I know that our cases are different but NAMI was so willing to help me and listen to me and gave me great advice. It was one of those things that I did that made me feel like I was doing something constructive. HTH.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I agree with-the lawyer idea. Idiot Caseworker thinks she can keep her tax-paid job by holding useless mtngs.
    She needs to go away. To Antarctica. So she can study polar bears.
    Not sure if I'd go for a drink. I think I'd go for a gun.
  9. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DF, how incredibly frustrating!!!!

    I agree with the lawyer idea - zba had a good suggestion in starting with NAMI.

  10. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I agree with contacting the lawyer. You might be able to find one st a reduced rate through nami.....the have a website snd you could find your local chapter there. Good luck and i am thinking of you.
  11. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I really, truly am beginning to think that *I* am the one who is crazy!

    Perhaps if I had a few drinks before these meetings, everything would make a lot more sense?

    After witnessing the squabbling between Idiot Caseworker and her Supervisors - it was readily apparant that the three of them are cut from the same cloth. Each of them more concerned about CYA and "Well, that's not MY responsibility..." So no help there...

    And then Ms Ally's Supervisor? Same thing. CYA all the way.

    difficult child's psychiatrist retired over the summer. County MH hired a "temporary" psychiatrist - who refuses to commit to difficult child because he is 'just a temp'. Therefore difficult child has no supervising doctor - and NO follow-up appts scheduled to see a doctor. I keep calling...and keep getting blown off. So no help there...

    Our local Nami group has a legal assistant who acts as kind of a coordinator - and she is the go-to for legal advice in that group. The problem is that this woman thinks she really has all the answers about MH in this area - but I have found her info to be out of date. Everything she tells me is no longer true. So she is telling me things with an attitude of "Oh, you're just not doing it right..." and OK - that may be true....but then how do I do it to make it work the way she tells me it used to? (Meanwhile, her own adult son lives at home, plays video games all night long, drains their bank accounts to pay for online stuff(not kidding), and then sleeps all day - but it's OK because he can't help it...he's Bi-Polar. Arrgghh!!! Don't even get me started on that one...) So no help there...

    So if I wanted to get a lawyer, I'd have to find someone NOT associated with this NAMI group (so that I can avoid this legal assistant) - and yet familiar enough with Mental Health....who'd be willing to fight the governor's bono...for what is going to amount to just a few months of services for difficult child before she turns 18....and of course, one of the reasons that there are so few services available is that so much stuff has been cut and/or closed due to the state budget.

    So it looks like drinking is my best option at this point.

  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    no way you are the one who is going crazy. but this kind of system is crazy-making. I dont really get it. How the heck do they not see this themselves? I think they do but you are right...just full of CYA behavior.
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    THAT part is easy... they are probably all difficult children themselves and think this is normal.
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Yep- I was told by attny I saw a few weeks ago that I shoul;d have hired an attny to represent me when difficult child was in trouble and GAL was brought on board- never mind that I wasn't charged with anything and had been told that it makes a parent look guilty of something when they do that. Now I'm sorry I didn't. I should have spent the money on me having an attny instead of difficult child and I wouldn't have been lied to and difficult child could have gotten more services and GAL/PO wouldn't have gotten by with blaming me for so much. Oh well. It won't happen again.

    As far as all these meetings and establishing goals, one thing I noticed from people in these agencies is that they want the goals to be established by them- it has to all be their idea. They "will take the parents' goals into consideration", but they like to feel like they came up with them. Use that to your favor- just say what would make any idiot come up with the goals you feel your difficult child needs and then brag on them when they mention the possibility of getting that service. Remember, these aren't the sharpest and most experienced tools in the shed.
  15. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Ugh! K - our caseworker isn't just any idiot - she's THE Idiot. After months of playing this stupid game...difficult child and I together told her to please write down on her little pad of paper that when difficult child gets out of control she becomes a "danger to herself and others".

    To which Idiot Caseworker responded..."What? You mean like she uses bad language?"

    (Yes, she really and truly said that! She honestly seemed to believe that the worst possible outburst was one that involved cuss words)

    So difficult child explained that when she gets angry she wants to hurt people. She throws things, kicks walls, and would attack anyone who got close enough.

    And caseworker asked "And you swear?"


    So the goal the caseworker wrote up is difficult child not having tantrums that involve screaming, yelling and swearing 13 out of 14 days. She wrote NOTHING about difficult child being dangerous.
  16. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    You win the prize, DF. In my book, hands down, you have the most idiotic "team" that I have ever heard of. I'm not sure what the prize is, but I am sure that you win it...
  17. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    difficult child's old PO was like that and the reason is because they don't believe it's really that bad- you're exaggerating. They think if it really was that bad, you'd have the kid in Department of Juvenile Justice or a psychiatric hospital. They don't get that the kid can't live in a psychiatric hospital, in most cases, and you're trying to prevent Department of Juvenile Justice. Once PO saw that I wasn't exagerating, instead of difficult child getting more services, he got Department of Juvenile Justice. I was told it was because they don't have anything else. They really don't, except Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and even that is questionable. It sickens me because the money and resources they have available to them are spent on hiring idiots and buying into MST and so forth and none of these people or programs that they are all using these days have a success rate worth a darn. So now there's no money left.
  18. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I don't know...I think your school team is pretty close...

    Too bad we can't lock them all up in a room somewhere!
  19. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    The idiotic team will provide you a BRAND NEW desk to bang your head on :congrats:
  20. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    This latest plan was pretty dang stupid, but I gotta give her a break on two counts - 1) she's new (exactly why she should stay the ____ out of it, but hey, she's supposed to be the boss) and 2) when I said no go, she's not pushing the issue of how great her plan is and why we should use it...she conceeded. I will never dog them for not knowing what to do and admitting it. I will dog them all day long for pretending to be experts on something they are not or refusing to use the knowledge we already have. I think we're getting there.