I finally got my little heart & mind squared away long enough to visit difficult child. It went....okay? I'm entirely sure what I expected, we sat in the same room but were not allowed to touch each other so I wasn't able to hug him goodbye. He did thank me for coming to visit him. Our visit only lasted 25 minutes because it was a first time visit. In the future we'll only get 15 min. He spent most of the time mumbling into his hands (he was biting his nails) and telling me he was going to go live with his dad. Last week my sons court appointed lawyer called to say that difficult child wants him to petition the court so he can go live with his dad. Last time they went to court the lawyer asked for a GAL since difficult child is obviously not capable of deciding what's best for him. The court did appoint a GAL but they've never returned my phone calls. Surely with the history difficult child has with-his dad a judge wouldn't let him go & live there. I'm reminded of all the chastisng the DXH gave me over the years about rescuing him. Now look who's coming to the rescue. Can this really happen? DXH has abused physically sent difficult child to the hospital twice. The last time difficult child ran away to his house it lasted about a week and ended with DXH kicking him out and telling difficult child he was glad they didn't share the same last names. difficult child was beside himself with anger & sadness. Honestly, as bad as it sounds at DXH's home I'd almost rather him go there than to be at this other lockdown facility. Our state doesn't have a minimum security lockdown facility so this is really harsh. He would be in there with kids who've stabbed & killed people. When it comes down to it, I'd choose DXH over this lock down place but I'd choose anything else over DXH.