Finding Bio Dads

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by ShakespeareMamaX, Jul 14, 2007.

  1. ShakespeareMamaX

    ShakespeareMamaX New Member

    Hello, everyone!

    I'm here to get some advice.

    I don't know my bio dad.

    He has no idea I exist.

    I know his name, he has blue eyes and blonde hair and the town he lived in when I was conceived. :p

    I don't have a bunch of money for things like private detectives, or anything. I'd just like to, at least, know the other half of my medical history.

    Any advice?

    P.S. I'm scared of public speaking, so (as fabulous as he is) the Montel show is out. :thumbsdown:
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    There are a lot of search sites on the internet that help locate/reunite people. You may want to try one of them. But if this is the same person in your signature line that is controlling and a drug abuser do you really want to find him?

  3. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Nancy said the same thing I was thinking....if he is the controlling drug abuser, then more than likely he won't be sharing any medical information with you....just asking for money! Maybe better idea would be to spend your time, efforts, money on a good physical and go with that info....
  4. ctmom05

    ctmom05 Member

    <span style='font-family: Fixedsys'>ShakespeareMamaX,

    Good morning. The point has been well made about the emotional can of worms that may be opened if you look for your bio dad.

    I do understand that underlying "need to know." If you browse thru this forum, you will see that I recently posted about something quite similar.

    In my case, it is the bio dad of my husband who was able to connect with him after 54 long years. Adoption agencies often have post adoption counseling services and the ability to help those who want to look or be found. If you decide to go ahead with this, this is an option to consider.

    By the way, I just noticed that you are also from CT - howdy neighbor!</span>
  5. ShakespeareMamaX

    ShakespeareMamaX New Member

    Uh, oh! Looks like I have to fix my profile a bit. The bio dad I speak of in there, is my difficult child's bio dad. I know nothing about my own. Sorry for the mix up!
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Shakespearemamax- while you're at it, there are other acronyms in your profile that I don't understand.

    What are:




  7. ShakespeareMamaX

    ShakespeareMamaX New Member

    MDD - Major depression disorder.
    PDad - difficult child's paternal grandfather.
    MMom - difficult child's maternal grandmother.

    I'm not very good at abbreviations. :p

    Let me know if you have any understandable abbreviations I could use. I'm at 750 words, so it would have to contain the same or less amount of characters.
  8. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Have you tried googling his name or going to white pages and putting his name in under the town he used to live in? I would tread carefully, since he has no knowledge of your existence....could be a real shock and he may not believe you....So MMom is your mother? Has she ever given you info on your father? Is she bio or adoptive? That would be the first source I would go to.
  9. ShakespeareMamaX

    ShakespeareMamaX New Member

    I have tried googling, whitepages and every resource I can think of. The problem is, he has an odd last name which can have various spellings.

    I've talked to my mom, but she knows as much as I've told you. She is also kinda "hush hush" about it, so it's an uncomfortable conversation. It was a one time fling, if you know what I mean.

    She is my bio mom.

    I've thought about the shock it could put on this man and I would be very careful not to come off as some child support grubbing money hog or anything of the sort. I don't even think I could muster up the gall to ask for a hug, had I met him. I really just want to know info.

    I wish I could throw his name out somewhere, asked if they had met my mother in the year...whatever it was...and wait for some kind of response. I dunno...
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I think it might be helpful for you to talk to a professional about what you want to get out of finding your bio-dad, and if that is a realistic expectation.