Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterbee, Sep 15, 2008.
Like the lawmaker said, I hope it opens legislators' minds to the issues facing families and children with mental health issues, among other things.
That's just what is was going to say. OOhhhhhh Great Minds!!
I hope so too, but unfortunately, I think this will open the forum to make a change in the law, instead of doing what WE'D like.
You can BET once they "revisit' the law it will NOT allow children over the age of 14 -
I have visions of that woman taking her 15 year old nephew in - I bet she burned rubber all the way out of the parking lot. That way they can't come back and FORCE her to take him and I bet she's begged for help too....just like the rest of us.
This is what it comes down to anymore - sad.......I'm disheartened by this entire country's law makers.
Poor kid that 11 year old - HOW awful for both him and his mother. It's a sad, sad day people when a woman has to make a choice to either leave her child with strangers so he can eat or both be on the streets.
JUST FRICKIN SAD
That was truely horrible. And now they'll reword the law so it won't happen again. I'm with Star......what a decision for a mother to have to make.
I have mixed emotions on this. I've been there. I would have dropped off J's in a heartbeat many times to anyone who would take him...but no one would. My thought was he couldn't get any worse than where he is now...let someone else give him a chance. But, no...no place for him.
Hence all the legal crud to turn him over to the state in order to get services.
I envision some parent/guardian at their rope's end rolling...no, racing up to a hospital and saying, "I'm sorry, but I can't help him anymore. Here's my number, do the best you can." At least you know he/she MIGHT get the care and evaluations that haven't happened for years. Now it's on THEIR plate. You try to raise this child. He'll be sweet as pie for a honeymoon period, then put your armor on.
I think that once we turned over custody of J to the state it was the validation of what we went through raising him. After numerous failed placements because he was such a jerk, running away, stealing, etc., they realized what we had faced daily trying to parent him. Every one of them exited him home because they couldn't handle him.
In the end, would I have loved to roll into a hospital and drop him off rather than go through the legal bull cr@ap to get it done? Yep. It doesn't mean I don't care for him...it's...let's get the ball rolling NOW.
We discussed this topic with some friends last night -
And the overwhelming thought was that States who have this law for older children had BETTER FIND FUNDING to house these orphans because once the word is out you could drop off an incorrigible 16 year old and never have to deal with the problems? WOW -
And then too - it creates ANOTHER set of problems in the fact that you have a damaged child and he/she is so out of control you feel you have no other recourse than to give up custody. What does this do to the child that you drop off at the hospital? Maybe not so much in the older ones (at some point you have to admit, yes I was just badly behaved and accept your fate) but for the younger children? It adds to their problems because they may be too young to understand that this was done for their own good....and NOT because they were not loved.
I laugh because our state is in a freeze with funding for any "new" services. So armed with this information yesterday I told our caseworker that at the next Family of EDC's meeting? I would be telling them ALL that they now can DROP OFF THEIR CHILDREN AT ANY HOSPITAL until age 18 without the wrath of the government and law.....and since BUDGETS were SO tight with OUR STATE.....? This move should eleviate their burden in THAT particular office - maybe to the point of NOT being needed as a caseworker and ......WHERE OH WHERE could this lead? They'll probably be working for the state but not as a cushy job being a caseworker, driving around to homes, seeing children, in a state car, with a state cell phone and state funded office.....nope - This keeps up ALL THEIR CHILDREN (clients) are going to BE in the hospitals - so they can go work there.....
yeah - this could work to our advantage to get more services....
hmmmmmmmmmmm I also have mixed emotions. Mainly because the system does fail both the kids and parents! But in the end it's still the kid not being helped. Let's face it, being bounced from shelter to foster home is not going to fix the problem.
I hope that both those boys will get whatever help they need, but I suspect it will end up with them bouncing from foster home to foster home. How sad though that the younger one's mom felt she couldn't care for him anymore.
It is very sad- the whole thing. I know I've not been on here all the years that so many other people have, but given my short time here, right now my impression is that no matter how little we have left to give or do for our kids because we've already exhausted every dime, every idea, ervery resource, and every ounce of energy, reaching for help isn't the answer because there is still no one there willing to do what we do for our kids. And it's sad because we don't have any left that we can do and I for one, had thought "help" existed for those who needed it- I thought that's where part of my taxes went. I thought a lot of things I was wrong about. It's just a shame that a family has to be torn apart as a last resort and even that won't get the help that's needed.
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