For the first time in a long time, difficult child 1 had TWO parents tonight!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Feb 24, 2009.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Wonders never cease, and husband never ceases to amaze me, despite his inconsistent involvement in this whole parenting adventure.

    Usually he is very out of touch with what's going on with the kids at school. He just doesn't have the bandwidth to take in that type of information, I suspect.

    Tonight, though, he stepped up to the parenting plate and hit a homerun for me in dealing with difficult child 1. I am so emotional about all the problems he's having, and so tired of dealing with his problems, difficult child 2's problems, etc. Because it's always ME who goes to the psychiatrist/therapist/any doctor appointments; ME who keeps track of medications; ME who attends school meetings; ME who communicates with teachers, administrators, etc.; ME, ME, ME! And there is only one of me and lately there is only so much I can take. I've been falling apart in front of husband lately so I think he's clueing in that I could use a little support and participation on his account.

    He calmly had a chat with difficult child 1 about school. Had him explain all his classes, homework procedures, current grades, etc. No judgements. No criticisms. Just an information gathering, friendly chat. It went well.

    He's already seen the email from the Lang Arts teacher today so he knew what was going on there.

    He believes that we need to put the stick away and use carrots from now on with difficult child 1, and I agree. The deal he worked out was this: All homework completed for each day by 8pm and his bedtime gets extended to 10pm AND and he gets one hour of computer/video/TV time (his choice) between 8 and 10. He LOVES House, so that means he'd get watch if he gets the work done.

    If homework is NOT done by 8pm, no hour of game/TV time AND bedtime the next night gets moved up to 9pm.

    If grades are brought up to C- or better at any point during this quarter, he gets his cell phone back.

    If quarter grades are not a C or better, everything gets renegotiated, and it won't be very fun going forward (i.e. tougher penalties).

    I really hope this motivates him to work finishing assignments and getting them in on time. Hopefully it will tie us over until he gets an evaluation...

    And hopefully hearing this from husband instead of evil Mom the Nag Supreme will help it to sink in! :faint:
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Not that you want to parent anyone else, but dish out the praise thick, thick, thick to husband! Woohoo!

    (besides, the praising part of parenting isn't that hard - except when you have to use it on husband's....)

    Kudos to husband. (and a restful hug for you.)
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Good for husband! He really manned up! I think it's helpful for young men to receive guidance from their fathers. Hopefully the plan (which sounds reasonable) will work. :thumbsup:
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    Yeah for husband! The plans sounds really good :)
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member



    I agree with-Shari, dish out the praise, thick. :)
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    ARRGGGGGGGGh Captain Cali came up with a slammin plan.......

    I love HOUSE too - OMG DF HATES him....with passion!

    (passes parental gorilla glue to GCV Mom)