For those of you who have lost a child….

ANewLife4Me

Active Member
My sincere condolences to you first of all. 💔💐 Because of my daughter attempting suicide in the past, combined with her numerous mental health issues, she is very high risk for a completed attempt. Reading about this subject has mentioned an invaluable source of help, even with specific groups on Facebook you can join. God bless you, your in my prayers. 🙏

 

lovemysons

Well-Known Member
Thank you.
One thing is for sure. I am a changed person since my son’s death. I grew a backbone and no longer allow people to get away with crap in my life without a fight!

by the way I did look through some of your old posts and see that your daughter was given a bipolar diagnosis at one time.
She needs to be sure to never go on an antidepressant without being on a mood stabilizer like Zyprexa, Depakote, or Lithium first lest she become manic and take extreme risks possibly leading to suicide. I know this from my own experience.

Also if your daughter ever does cry suicide, call her bluff. I used to call the police and they would ping my son’s phone and find out his location and take him to the hospital if they thought the threat should be taken seriously. Eventually my son quit threatening suicide. Especially once he became a Christian.

I belong to TCF - Loss of an Adult Child on Facebook and love their site. No one quite understands what we are going through like a fellow parent who has also lost their child.

Thanks again
Love,
LMS
 

ANewLife4Me

Active Member
Thank you.
One thing is for sure. I am a changed person since my son’s death. I grew a backbone and no longer allow people to get away with crap in my life without a fight!

by the way I did look through some of your old posts and see that your daughter was given a bipolar diagnosis at one time.
She needs to be sure to never go on an antidepressant without being on a mood stabilizer like Zyprexa, Depakote, or Lithium first lest she become manic and take extreme risks possibly leading to suicide. I know this from my own experience.

Also if your daughter ever does cry suicide, call her bluff. I used to call the police and they would ping my son’s phone and find out his location and take him to the hospital if they thought the threat should be taken seriously. Eventually my son quit threatening suicide. Especially once he became a Christian.

I belong to TCF - Loss of an Adult Child on Facebook and love their site. No one quite understands what we are going through like a fellow parent who has also lost their child.

Thanks again
Love,
LMS
I cannot even imagine lovemysons, my heart aches for you. 💔 My daughter started at the very young age of cutting herself, everywhere including wrists with anything she could find. I followed her everywhere the first time it happened, was scared to death. As she reached adulthood it continued, I knew because she would never wear shorts or short sleeves. She said the pain of cutting helped her mental, eased her until it built up again.

You mentioned medicine, she has been on lithium and a mood stabilizer with it. This was the most “normal” I had seen her but, did not last long. She took herself off because of the side affects, said she could handle it and take only as needed. The need for medication became less and less, the mental has taken control….she LIKES acting the way she does. She loves the voices, she told me they are her friends. The voices one time told her to kill us. She said they are very scary and touch her as well.

She called the suicide hotline many times she last lived with us. Yet another failed relationship had her on the brink, no matter how I tried to help….leave me alone is all I received in reply. Listening to her loud wailing, arguing with herself, punching walls. 😔

The alcohol and street drugs make things a million times more violent. She took one drug that she told me she could not breathe, did not know she was on planet earth, laid there wondering if she would live, could not move. Anyone at anytime could of done something to her. And when asked if she would do it again? Yes was her answer.

Thank you for your suggestions and care.

Big hugs! ❤️
 

lovemysons

Well-Known Member
Your daughter definitely sounds like she has severe psychiatric problems and should always be on medication. What were the side effects that lead her to believe she could go without it? Gaining weight? Twitches?

I’m sorry your daughter is so tormented inside. How sad for both you and she.

Hugs,
LMS
 

ANewLife4Me

Active Member
Your daughter definitely sounds like she has severe psychiatric problems and should always be on medication. What were the side effects that lead her to believe she could go without it? Gaining weight? Twitches?

I’m sorry your daughter is so tormented inside. How sad for both you and she.

Hugs,
LMS
Yes ma’am, while on the lithium she had what she called head twitches/zaps. Other medications have made her sick which is normal until you get used to them but, she was throwing up all the time. She was always fearful of gaining weight and looked up all the side affects of any medication. She is one of those who binge eats and then will eat green beans for a week, then buy a bunch of junk and eat it all in one day. I have heard that people with schizophrenia need medication for life, without it….prognosis is not good. She refuses both medications and therapy. 😢

I put off her treating me as she has due to these mental issues but, the last year she was with us saw how capable she really is. If you did not know her you would not even know how bad off she is.

Big hugs! ❤️
 
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newstart

Well-Known Member
sincere condolences to you first of all. 💔💐 Because of my daughter attempting suicide in the past, combined with her numerous mental health issues, she is very high risk for a completed attempt. Reading about this subject has mentioned an invaluable source of help, even with specific groups on Facebook you can join. God bless you, your in my prayers. 🙏

Thank you ANewLife4Me for your post and compassion. I lost a son to death. Not one day goes by that I do not think of him. Even though his death was the worst thing I have ever experienced, I must admit that when my daughter was at her worst it was almost more painful than my son's death. My daughter was given the gift of life and was doing such dangerous and crazy things. The pain of having a dead child and another child that is disrespectful to life was so much for my health that I developed a heart condition, it actually broke my heart into a million pieces. I am working at gathering the pieces. I miss my son terribly. He was mentally ill, he was kind and compassionate. When I was sick with the flu or anything else he was always the first to take care of me, running to the grocery store to make sure I had fresh fruit and chicken soup. He knew I love avocados and would hand pick me the best ones. I live with one foot on this earth and one in the afterlife. It's been a rough journey. I try to find gratitude in each day. My heart has since healed itself and I am mostly healthy. When around my husband's bipolar family I get the worst case of Acid Reflux. I try to avoid them at all cost. Wishing all of you much peace, love and smooth days filled with Zen activities and Zen people.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
When around my husband's bipolar family I get the worst case of Acid Reflux.
This is what happened to me around my son (actually, and my Mother). I remember rolling on the ground when she came to visit. It was horrible. Imagine, newstart, that we would let that happen to us. Thank goodness, that's in the rearview mirror. I hope. I know what it is to have a broken heart, and to feel you've lost your life. I am so, so sorry.
 

ANewLife4Me

Active Member
Thank you ANewLife4Me for your post and compassion. I lost a son to death. Not one day goes by that I do not think of him. Even though his death was the worst thing I have ever experienced, I must admit that when my daughter was at her worst it was almost more painful than my son's death. My daughter was given the gift of life and was doing such dangerous and crazy things. The pain of having a dead child and another child that is disrespectful to life was so much for my health that I developed a heart condition, it actually broke my heart into a million pieces. I am working at gathering the pieces. I miss my son terribly. He was mentally ill, he was kind and compassionate. When I was sick with the flu or anything else he was always the first to take care of me, running to the grocery store to make sure I had fresh fruit and chicken soup. He knew I love avocados and would hand pick me the best ones. I live with one foot on this earth and one in the afterlife. It's been a rough journey. I try to find gratitude in each day. My heart has since healed itself and I am mostly healthy. When around my husband's bipolar family I get the worst case of Acid Reflux. I try to avoid them at all cost. Wishing all of you much peace, love and smooth days filled with Zen activities and Zen people.
It breaks my heart reading this, cannot image what any of you have gone through loosing a child. 💔 So thankful you have such wonderful memories of him that hopefully puts a smile on your face to think on. I pray that your daughter is doing well and can help to ease a bit of the burden from your heart.

Big hugs! ❤️
 

newstart

Well-Known Member
This is what happened to me around my son (actually, and my Mother). I remember rolling on the ground when she came to visit. It was horrible. Imagine, newstart, that we would let that happen to us. Thank goodness, that's in the rearview mirror. I hope. I know what it is to have a broken heart, and to feel you've lost your life. I am so, so sorry.
Thank you Copa, I re read my post, I meant to say my son did NOT have a mental illness, somehow I left out NOT. He was an even tempered, very kind and well adjusted young man. He tried not to lie or steal and was grounded in his faith. He did try out 'lying' in Jr high one time and failed ! He was so innocent that it actually made me laugh. He forged my signature on a paper one time and wrote my nick name instead of my proper name and the teachers caught it. I know his classmates were teaching him how to do stuff like that. Jr high! Thank you for your compassion. Yes how could we let that toxicity of others cause us acid reflux... Only if I could get away from it and now husband is dragging it into our home. What an A.H. Relative will be here on the 27th. Ugh.
 

lovemysons

Well-Known Member
Hi newstart…I know exactly what you mean when you say you live with one foot on this earth and one in the afterlife.

Your son sounds like he was such a sweetheart. Loved his mama. My son was the same way to me. Even the last week when he was homeless and dying with Meth he thanked me for bringing him into this world. He told me I was awesome. He even predicted a nice future for his dad and I.
I miss his good heart everyday as I know you do with your son too.

by the way newstart…speaking of afterlife. Do things ever mysteriously fall that you haven’t made move? This has been randomly happening ever since my son died 2 1/2 years ago. I almost feel like it’s my son trying desperately to get my attention. Which wouldn’t surprise me lol he and I were/are so bonded.

Did you read my post in Substance Abuse forum? It is from my son’s daughter…granddaughter….a conversation between us about when she temporarily died and went to Heaven when she was 2 years old. Gives me such comfort to know what is waiting for us in the afterlife and what my son now experiences. No more pain and suffering for him. No more cold lonely days and nights addicted to Meth out on the streets.

LMS
 

newstart

Well-Known Member
Lovemysons, Just read your beautiful story about your granddaughter. Such a beautiful spiritually mature girl. Her words can offer peace to the hurting.
Many times my son's spirit has made contact. It is what keeps me going. I was invited to see John Edwards twice, did not really want to go but my friend bought me an $80 ticket so I went and my son came through. Another friend took me again and again my son came through. I am talking about a crowd of over 2000 people each time. I was not sure about John Edwards but after what he told me I believe he was authentic. He also told everyone that my son was the strongest spirit in the place. I am sure my son's job is to make other spirits make their transition into the afterlife. I miss so much about my son but especially the smell of his hair. His scent was always nice even after playing basketball. March is his death month and I am always a mess so I have no idea why my husband invited a member of his family to come at this particular time. What an A.H. This member has a weird way of talking down to a person and I have always felt I did all the heavy lifting in any communication with him. It is a lot of work and as I get older the relationships have to be shared or I just don't want them at all. My husband told me that I am always the one that does all the heavy lifting and I told him I am not doing all the work anymore, his relatives are just not worth that kind of work. They are work for my daughter too.

My daughter is still off/ on and the lying is still happening. I get weary and tired. Now husband has balanced out a bit but still, I can't believe what he has done. I have lived with dread and I am too old to live with dread. I visited a friend the other day a woman with 4 off track children, we get along good most of the time but she talked non stop about her kids and I could not get a word in edgewise. I know she needed to do that but it was not a conversation it was a brain dump. I love her so I will work with it but damn. I hope we can have a regular conversation next time and she is worth the heavy lifting. I really need to be around someone very Zen like my grandmother. My grandmother had a life with much suffering, she lost her fiance, in the war and many other very sad things but she was very Zen, most spirit filled person I have ever met. I miss her terribly. And her spirit does visit often, we made a promise to each other that we will always stay connected. Sending all of you a huge hug.
 

lovemysons

Well-Known Member
Hi newstart,

When you say your son’s spirit “came through” what do you mean?
Did you see him? Hear him?

I assume John Edward’s is a Medium. I am skeptical of mediums. Not sure which side of the spirit world one would be connecting to if you know what I mean. Especially since it’s for profit. But anyway…I am interested in your experience.

I’m sorry your husband has so little regard for your feelings in regard to his overbearing relative coming to visit. And definitely not this month as it will be hard anyway considering your son’s death.

I know what you mean though about not putting up with others treatment now. Since my son’s death I no longer put up with it. I used to just go along to get along. But not anymore! I found my voice. I stand up for myself now. lol some people around me think my medication is no longer working since I also have a Bipolar diagnosis.

Anyway…I hope you find some Zen soon. Some balance. No more heavy lifting on your part. Relationships take two people working together…sharing the load…not just one doing everything.

Hang in there.
Love
LMS
 

newstart

Well-Known Member
Hi newstart,

When you say your son’s spirit “came through” what do you mean?
Did you see him? Hear him?

I assume John Edward’s is a Medium. I am skeptical of mediums. Not sure which side of the spirit world one would be connecting to if you know what I mean. Especially since it’s for profit. But anyway…I am interested in your experience.

I’m sorry your husband has so little regard for your feelings in regard to his overbearing relative coming to visit. And definitely not this month as it will be hard anyway considering your son’s death.

I know what you mean though about not putting up with others treatment now. Since my son’s death I no longer put up with it. I used to just go along to get along. But not anymore! I found my voice. I stand up for myself now. lol some people around me think my medication is no longer working since I also have a Bipolar diagnosis.

Anyway…I hope you find some Zen soon. Some balance. No more heavy lifting on your part. Relationships take two people working together…sharing the load…not just one doing everything.

Hang in there.
Love
LMS
Hi lovemysons, I too was very skeptical of mediums, I just did not want to mess with them esp. since odd things happen to me anyway. My son comes through in dreams, noises, birds all kinds of stuff. I know it is him because I feel him. My friends insisted I go and they said they bought the tickets as a gift for me. One friend came from out of town and the other lived in town. No way would I pay $80 to sit with thousands of other people to watch a medium but glad I did.
I too found my voice after my son died. I changed completely. I was not a door mat anymore. I was still kind but assertive.
Thank you for your kind words and support LMS. We all need balance. Love, NS.
 
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