For those of you whose husband/SO come here.....

[mstang67chic]

Do you think it's helped them understand things better? I'm trying to get husband to at least come here and read posts. He's come a long way over the years but I don't think we're both on the same page yet. We have started discussing the future more lately as difficult child is almost 18 and husband makes comments that tell me he's not thinking the way he needs to concerning difficult child. "When he's on his own, he's still going to come here to borrow money" to which I told him, if he needs money for food, I'll buy him food but I'm not giving him money. If he uses it for food, he'd buy ding dongs and ice cream and not real food. That's kind of a simpler comment that he's made but you get the idea.

I think I've got him talked into at least reading posts but I told him I would either give him my password or set him up with his own so if he has questions or comments, he can post without waiting on me to be there. It's not really a matter of wanting to with him but more of a matter of time. He works rotten hours, worries about our family and he's also the guardian for his mentally ill mother. Poor guy has a lot going on but I'm trying to convince him that this will help with our family. (And who knows, maybe some of the things could help him with his mother!)

 

[mrscatinthehat]

My husband made his own name (Mrcatinthehat) and comes once in a while. I think it helped him to see what I was getting from here. Hope your husband finds us helpful.

Beth

 

[Marguerite]

MY husband has lurked since shortly after I joined and it has helped immensely. Never thought we needed that much help, frankly. But he reads my posts (mostly from work) and says it gives him a better idea of what I'm thinking, because when he gets home we're just so busy we don't get time to really share absolutely everything the way we really need to.

Since I found having him lurk using my password was 'fooling' the log of unread posts and making me miss some things I wanted to keep up with, he registered in his own right ("Marg's Man").

I suggest you get your husband to just lurk, you don't have to register to read. Just to reply. If he feels strongly enough about something to want to reply, he can just go ahead, in his own time, when HE chooses.

This helps. And if he chooses to write a thread asking other men, especially other step-dads, how they handle things, then it could only help him, surely?

Marg

 

[mstang67chic]

Thanks to you both. I was trying to explain to husband what I thought we could both get out of him coming here and I think you two put it better than I did. I've printed out this thread and I'll give it to him when he gets home.

And Marg, just to clarify....husband isn't difficult child's step father. We (husband & I) both adopted difficult child out of foster care about 8 1/2 years ago. We got him as a foster child and about 10 months later, adopted him.

 

[Marguerite]

Apologies. So husband has even more reasons to be in an equal partnership with you, in raising difficult child. Serves me right for skimming too fast past your sig!

He won't be alone on this site. There are other men here, some as the main poster, some as the support/lurker. And in general, we are very friendly to our men. Any bloke who cares enough about his family to want to do what he can in support - always a popular bloke around here, for sure!

And as husband has found, there is the occasional opportunity to be a bit cheeky...

Marg

 

[guest3]

errr my S2BX found the site once while I was in the bathroom and did not take kindly to my stats (Husband - alcoholic/potential bi-polar) LOL he typed something nasty under my handle and that was that. he's killed so many brain cells I doubt he even remebers the site's name!

 

[mstang67chic]

husband just came up to me with his Blackberry and had the CD site pulled up. He wanted to know where to go from there so he could look through it. :surprise: I again told him that I would set him up with his own account if he wanted, so keep your eyes peeled for him! LOL I'll be sure to make it obvious it's my husband (like Mrcatinthehat or Marg's man)

 

[busywend]

Well, good for husband! Just do not expect him to get the same thing from it that you do. It could read differently for him. And that is OK.