Fraternity deaths...why??

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SomewhereOutThere, Nov 15, 2017.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I just heard of another frat death is Tx...

    I have never been in a sororiety, nor do I particularly even like the idea behind them...seems elitist and even racist to me.

    Can anyone explain why hazing takes place or drinking to death? Are the young pledges told they have to keep drinking? Is there real abuse?

    Why would anyone want to join so badly that they allow themselves to be treated this way? The deaths of late finds me shaking my head again.

    I guess I dont get it because I am more a loner and would not jump through hoops to join any group, even as a teen. So i dont understand why anyone would. None of my.kids are "follow the crowd" kids either...i do know that frats/sororities differ, but dont they all have a Hell Week?

    If you bothered to answer or comment, thanks!
     
  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    There has been attempts to clamp down on the aggressive alerting that has been commonplace in or out of surrorities. At universities.

    We have only 2 Ivy League Universities in Canada. What shocks me is the lengths to which student will go to have their party time.

    We are talking High level students at the most prestigious universities here. I can’t imagine it is any better in any other schools.

    What struck me most about the news report I have attached is not only the number of drug overdoses that occurred (at an Ivy League University Party); but where they were positioned in the article. It is just a matter of fact report, 7 overdoses, and numerous alcohol poisoning’s. This makes me very sad.

    I know the universities attempt to curtail activities surrounding initiations and pledges to surrorities and binge drinking/drug use on campus. To me it looks like a losing battle.

    More than 60 charges in Western street bash
     
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2017
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    The colleges could shut them down, but they wont and probably good comes to some stdents because of them.

    In the U.S. they are at all colleges. I have never understood the appeal other than possible snobbery. I know it is a status symbol to many students (not to all).
     
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    My childhood best friend was in a sorority. If I had asked, her mother would have gotten me in. I would have been more likely to cut my arm off than I would to join a sorority.

    I worked in a Kinkos Copy store my first year in college. One of the things we copied were the manuals for fraternities and sororities. Fraternities are more about the drinking and a little about brotherhood from what I read. Sororities controlled every aspect of the girls' lives. The clothes they wore, the brands of makeup they were allowed to be seen using, the food they ate in public, their weight, who they could date (fraternity guys only), etc... At least the high prestige sororities controlled things like this.

    I grew up in a college town and have seen true ugliness come from fraternities and sororities. I have also seen them do a lot of good for the community. They are the only group who requires members to do community service. I don't think it is a fair trade off for the harm that they do though.

    The amount of alcohol consumed by fraternities and sororities is astounding. Every weekend is a huge amount of drinking. They keep huge files of papers and tests for every class and teacher so that their members don't flunk out and can get passing grades even with the drinking. Drinking is supposed to be optional but it isn't. The peer pressure is enormous. You are simply not part of the crowd if you are not drinking. Plus if you are not drinking to get drunk, you are more likely to get a drink spiked with something. If you get too drunk, you are going to have something bad happen to you.

    I went to school at a major university in Texas for 3 years. The greek system there was out of control. My second year there were 2 major scandals. An active member of a fraternity was chased off of a cliff by pledges. The active member died. I knew his younger brother. This fraternity was given 500 hours of community service to do. This meant that if each of the members and pledges did community service, they would each have to do about 10 hours of community service in a year. As punishment for killing someone. Then the group had the nerve to come to the younger brother, M, and invite him to join. They told him he could join as an active member, essentially taking his brother's place. M was a youth pastor at his church and the most nonviolent person I knew. He picked up the guy who told him he could "just step into his brother's place in the fraternity" and threw him out of his dorm room. I was quite surprised, both by the offer and by M's response. He was so angry at them. They were so smug as though he should be grateful that they were offering him the position.

    The other scandal took place during homecoming. One fraternity had a car bash. For a fee you could beat on a car with a sledgehammer. When the trunk was beaten until it would not close, there was a message painted on the inside. It was a vile racial slur. The fraternity thought it was hilarious to have it there, and they left it in front of the house overnight. Again, it was one of the high profile fraternities. This was a HUGE deal. They lost the right to have pledges that year. They almost lost their charter, their right to exist on that campus. Their was some other consequence that was a big deal and meant that until the officers graduated, they couldn't have any pledges. It was so that the officers who had the bad judgement to have any part in the whole mess could not influence any future members. The officers could have remained in the fraternity until graduation, but they were pressured to leave by other members. This way the punishment only lasted that one year.

    I saw many girls pressured into sex with fraternity guys by girls in their sororities. If you were pledging a sorority and you gave in to the pressure, you were usually labelled a slvt and dinged out of the group. They made sure as many people as possible knew that you were "easy" just to be mean. One thing that was a big deal was the walk of shame. Walking home from the fraternities on Sat or Sun morning after spending the night. Unless you were an established girlfriend, someone in the fraternity would throw all the girls out (no, I did not experience this firsthand, but it was common knowledge and it was a policy written in the manuals for all the fraternities) at about the same time. They were not given time to wash their faces, so they had smeared makeup unless they had washed it off before they passed out the night before. They had to walk back to the dorms or wherever they lived. People would gather to watch them walk home and yell nasty things to them as they walked home. If there were guys walking home at around the same time, they got praised for "getting some".

    I saw really ugly things from sororities toward guys too. One sorority targeted a guy I knew. He was really shy and sweet and socially awkward. These girls were popular and pretty and socially sophisticated. They spent about a month building up his confidence. They told him they liked him. They convinced him that they wanted to date him. 1 of them slept with him and then another tried to. He wouldn't sleep with her because he was afraid it would hurt the other girl's feelings. Then they turned on him and told him he was ugly and a loser. The one who slept with said he was awful in bed and she couldn't stand to have him touch her, that she only did it because she was told to. The other one laughed and said she was so lucky because he wouldn't sleep with her, but what kind of loser was he to turn down sex with her? Those of us who were his real friends had been afraid they were going to do something like this, so we were checking up on him even though he never had time for us while these girls were all over him. We noticed when he didn't come out of his room for a day and a half. We got his roommate to let us in, and we got the story out of him. He ended up on suicide watch in the health center and then having to see a counselor for a while.

    Those awful witches really messed with his head. They actually sent him a note saying that he should kill himself because no woman would ever let him touch her unless she had to. He was just a disgusting human being and so gross that he would never have a girlfriend, yada yada yada. They were dumb enough to sign it and put their sorority name on it. From growing up in a university town, I knew that would get them in big trouble. So several of us took it to the university. It was a real problem for the sorority. Especially given all the notes they sent him that he was messy enough to keep. When he went into the health center, several of us went through his room and kept all the notes those girls sent him.

    Given that I could probably list a bunch more awful things I have seen these groups do to people, I am totally not surprised by the deaths. The amount of alcohol flowing through the greek system is astounding. Much of the system is about making connections to help you in business for the rest of your life. As a professor, my mother kept wanting me to date guys from a particular fraternity. She knew a couple of members who were very smart and kept the uglier side of their activities away from their academic life. That fraternity is known for the ugliest sexual things on campus. They get away with most of it because they have the most money and power.

    My husband has an old friend with a reputation for being very very wild. He walked away from this fraternity because their sexual games were to ugly for him. I cannot even imagine what would be too ugly for him. I do know that this fraternity does not really care if you are willing. If you are at their house, you are willing. They actually printed tshirts that said that a few years ago. Those didn't go over very well. While they could not be banned from campus, many professors found ways to not accept work or deduct extra points or otherwise be extra tough on students who wore those shirts.

    I saw many fraternity parties over the years. I think I was 16 when I went to the first one. I worked near the university and was invited by a guy I knew. It was the craziest, dumbest party I had seen to that point. You couldn't talk to anyone, and you couldn't dance. All you could do was drink or find a room to go have sex. I lasted about 20 or 25 minutes. Even then I didn't drink beer, and the only other option was trashcan punch. It smelled revolting and I was NOT going to drink that. I went to a few more with friends. They were about the same. Some had themes like togas or Hawaiian or whatever. Mostly it was so you had less clothing on from what I could figure out.

    Then I went to college and saw their frat parties. Those were on a bigger scale and grossed me out. 500-700+ people packed shoulder to shoulder, all shouting. Maybe 4 toilets for all of them, 2 of which will be stopped up and overflowing onto the floor by an hour into the party. Three hours into the party and people will be having sex in any semi private place (meaning any place not outside). Mostly beer to drink, very cheap beer that is served fairly warm. People passed out in random places, being drawn on with sharpies, walked on, all sorts of ugly things happening to them. Cops can do almost nothing about the parties because of the size. They cannot get to the music to shut it off because of the people jammed around it. Eventually the cops get to the music or the power source and everything goes off. Then we leave. Or else I get bored and leave early knowing my roommate is with her boyfriend and has forgotten me. I would rather be home reading a book than be stuck in this crush.
     
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  5. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    And silly me here I was thinking if I could just get my kid to graduate and get him off to school. I just am slowing losing faith in humanity.
     
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    At least in high school there is some degree of parental supervision in most cases. In college you have young adults mixing with over 21 adults in party atmospheres. There is no real supervision. If you add in peer pressure and the greek system, you can get some real tragedies. I was always flabbergasted at my mother's view of the greek system, but she only saw greek students as the higher performing students in many clubs and classes. She didn't know that they had test banks and even project banks where members were REQUIRED to get copies of tests if at all possible, even if they had to hand copy the test questions if a teacher didn't let them keep copies of the tests, just to add to the banks. This was so that future pledges and members could work on homecoming floats all night for the week before the parade and still get good grades. It was so they looked good on paper, not so they learned anything.

    Given the way the people in the greek system stick together once they are out of college, these are people running corporations and politics. They hire each other and recommend each other. They had no morals in college and kept each others' secrets. They also blackmailed those who might have had morals or thought about turning them in for things that were awful. Then they had to keep turning a blind eye and playing the game once they were out of college in the real world. Now they keep doing those things. This is part of why our world and our system is so messed up today. At least that is my opinion.
     
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