Or hopefully decision we do not need to make. But right now it is a possibility. It is about our respite kids. We have had them few days a month some years now. 11-year-old neurotypical girl with her own challenges and 8-year-old high functioning aspie boy. They and their siblings were taken into the care little over a week ago because of domestic disturbance. Mother's boyfriend was violent towards her and has been before, and mother has failed to take necessary steps to get rid off him. CPS has ruled that she can't have children back, before that guy is out of their life. Youngest two are with their dads, our respite kids are temporarily in our care and the sibling with severe special needs is at the institutional placement. The mother has three months before there needs to be a court ruling for more permanent arrangement and will get kids back, if she can prove the guy is out by then. We very much hope that is what will happen. She is a good mom, though his taste in men is bad. Father of our respite kids and high special needs kid only used her and the kids for permanent residence visa. With younger kids other father was married (and still is) and other is a decent bloke she dumped because he was boring. After that there has been a drunk boyfriend and this violent guy. We very much hope, she is able to get rid of this violent guy and have her kids back, but if not, we have tough decisions to make. We are attached to these two kids and because their age, it would be likely they would end up into the professional group home in foster care, if we are not willing (and accepted) into fostering them. We however are quite comfortable being at emeritus status in parenting. We are not too old nor too tired, only mid forties, but we have both taken more challenging offers at work and currently work long hours, though now that kids are here, we try to keep office hours short and take work home. Girlie will very possibly have quite the teen years in front of her. She has been very parentified child and can be challenging already. And the Boyo is double minority (like also Girlie) and aspie on the top of that. He is rule orientated in the way that makes him easier to manage now, but I assume that he will also struggle mightily in his teens. In other words, these will not be easy kids to parent. While we very much hope it doesn't come to it, I know there are many in these boards, who have ended up parenting their grandkids etc. I would appreciate your viewpoints greatly.