Gifted but standoffish

I have a college age daughter that is very gifted. A blessing to be sure. But she treats me like I have the plague and my husband like gold. I do everything for her in school, loans, car, add money to her account, but she doesn't even say goodbye when she hangs up the phone. If she talks to me it is curt, short and snotty. It really hurts. My husband can talk to her and it's just the opposite. I love her deeply and am very proud of her but it really is difficult to understand and deal with. I was the one that has always been there for her as her Dad worked a lot of hours and wouldn't come to school functions or church functions. I know this is minimal compared to most of the stories I have read on here but I just don't know how to deal with her and how to handle the rejection.


Active Member
I would recommend you go to counseling if you can. Ask your primary care physician for a referral. And I don't mean that you yourself need any counseling necessarily, rather mental health professionals are very good at understanding behavior - the behavior of your daughter specifically.

So a counselor might be able to figure out what is going on with your daughter, then offer constructive suggestions for making the situation better. Or if that is not possible, then maybe offer some suggestions to get your mind off of your daughter - do something fun for yourself - take a break, whatever!

Anyway a counselor can help you to resolve this situation one way or another.


100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

Sorry that your daughter is treating you this way.

I think if it were me, I would move past the hurt and be angry. I would give her a taste of her own medicine and be standoffish right back. I would do it until it made her uncomfortable and see how she handles it.