glad to find a support group...hi new here

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by hlovell, Jan 18, 2010.

  1. hlovell

    hlovell New Member

    Hello my name is Hillary i am a 32 yr old mother of 4 kids. A 13 yr old daughter a 9 yr old son and a 5 yr old daughter, and a 9 yr old step daughter.Here is a Breif history of my situation or life... My son Scott has been a handfull scence he was little from what i can remember. I dont know as much as a mother should about him when he was a baby cause I had to work all the time cause his father wouldn't and someone needed to provide for the family. So his father raised my oldest and my son till about 6 1/2 yrs ago. Then I decided to leane his father due to well the obvious... he was a loser.. anyways.. as a baby he was slow to reach regular milestones...such as crawling walking and talking...he didnt start talking till he was about 3 1/2 to 4 yrs old.. He has had many problems throughout school as far as listening and behaving.. he was diagnosed with (no supprise to me) ADHD..not a suprise cause i myself am a adult that when i was young had ADHD..and as an adult has learned through the years how to cope and deal with it. anyways .... A long story short we had a point in where i couldnt handle what was going on anymore and needed help to find out what was going on with him.. so i had him placed in an inpatient program. They then diagnosed him with anxiety, ADHD, ODD and PTSD. So everyday is a struggle with him.. he takes 20mg.of Aderal..and that helps a bit and we try to keep thing as routine as possible but....well as you would know life just happpens and well everymorning with him is a battle.and when he comes off his medications its hell in this 5 yr old see him acting this way and is starting to immitate him... he will do good for everyone but me.. why?? I get so frustrated and try to understand why .. maybe cause i wasnt there for him as a baby ...i am now here to try to reach out to other that have been where i am and have any advise to share with me on how i can help him to be the awsome little guy i know he is.. HELP!!!!:faint:
    Lasted edited by : Jan 18, 2010
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi Hillary! I would recommend that you take him for a neuropsyche evaluation. With the delays that you've described, (and I'm not a doctor - nor have I ever played on on TV - lol!) I'd be looking for something as far as a developmental disability. Is there a chance that he could be on the autistic spectrum> ie: Asperger's Syndrome? You could be very surprised to know that there are tons of kids on the spectrum that don't get diagnosed until later on. My oldest was first diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, PTSD and a whole bunch of other letters! Turned out he had Aspergers. Now he's being treated very differently and we're seeing a change (at least in school!).

    Keep checking in - a lot of us have kids and they were off today here - I finally got them to bed!

    Welcome to the crowd!

  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    The developmental delays don't really fit ADHD, they imply something else. The ODD also, is not a terribly helpful label if it's used on its own, because so often there is an underlying condition (ADHD would be enough, but there could be other stuff) which can cause ODD-like symptoms in a kid for whom the usual discipline methods just don't work properly.

    A book that has helped a lot of us, is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Read up on it, see what you think. Get a copy out of the library; if I bought every book recommended to me, I'd be broke plus I would have no room in the house. But I bought this one, after I read the library copy. I've also written summaries of the book for people in my family who "couldn't get into" the book but who still needed a crash course in how it worked.

    It made things a lot easier for us. A lot of books will recommend charts, stickers, contracts - frankly, I was just too tired to tackle one more thing and increase my workload when I already felt stretched to the limit. But this book made my life easier.

    You take from it what feels right and leave the rest. It's as easy as tat. But always stay in touch with the principles of the book because as he gets older and makes progress, you may find things need tweaking or you want to add some more things to the system so you can speed up his progress.

    Read what you can here. There is a lot of stuff that can help. Do a sig for yourself, but please be careful to not use your own personal details here (ie don't use real names or name places in detail). It's is really important for you to be able to come here and vent, knowing that his teachers, your relatives, friends etc won't recognise who you are from your posts. The last thing you need is to vent about a problem at school or with a neighbour, and ten find the person waving your printed post under your nose while they stand there tapping their foot, waiting for an explanation.

    Welcome to this site. There is an accumulation of wisdom here from other parents who have already been where you are now. It really is a soft place to land.

  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome!

    One more vote for the neuropsychologist evaluation and possible autism spectrum disorder. The first diagnosis for these kids is often ADHD or ODD or both. But it sounds like more. He would need interventions for the best outcome. Since it runs in families, the little guy should be checked out too.

    Don't be scared. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids are awesome and can be helped! :tongue: