Going to be a grandma.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Jesllo, Feb 2, 2017.

  1. Jesllo

    Jesllo New Member

    My difficult child, the one that is about to be homeless, called to tell me that she's pregnant.

    This makes me so sad. She's bringing a new life into her disaster.

    I'm trying really hard to not let this effect my decision to cut off her support. She still needs to learn how to be an adult & take care of herself.

    I'm going to have some faux retail therapy. (I shop online, but I don't actually buy.)
     
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry... I wish I had advise but when they are adults, it's hard to get them help.

    Will she get prenatal care? Can you inform her doctor (anonymously) about her issues?

    Ksm
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My first thought is to make sure its true. Have her take a test in front of you. You cant take her word...could be a ploy to get money or housing. Sadly, adults like this can not be trusted with anything. They lie even about big issues. She can always tell you she miscarried if she isnt pregnant. Be sure.

    Secondly, unless you want to legally try to get custody and will fight for it, if its true, you may want to try to talk to her about adoption. We cherish our adopted blessings in our home. They had a stable life. They are great young adults. Your daughter is not able to care for a baby and if she doesnt give you or another custody, she can pull that grandchild from your safe arms at any time. If she drinks or does drugs during a pregnancy, the baby's brain will also have drugs in it as it developes. The baby will have issues. Could be very extreme.

    You dont have to drink a lot to give Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. My auristic son is adopted...birthmother was a hige addict. He was born with crack in him snd syphillis. We are all lucky that high functioning autism is his worst after affect.

    Hugs. This is a nightmare.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2017
  4. Jesllo

    Jesllo New Member

    Planned Parenthood has verified the pregnancy.

    She is still covered on my insurance & she wants prenatal care. I've made her a Dr appointment. I'll go with her to the appointments until she doesn't want me to.

    I have my own health issues & I don't feel up to raising another child. I don't want custody of it.

    I'm going to help her get on WiC. But I think that's about all I want to do for her.

    I woke up too early. I want to go back to sleep, but my brain is stressing out.
     
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Tell her to consider adoption. And then you've done your best.

    Hugs for all the crap...So sorry.
     
  6. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    I'm glad that you had the information confirmed. I agree with SWOT to ask her to consider adoption.

    Your daughter may try and use this pregnancy as a way to manipulate you so it's good that you are firm about your feelings of not wanting to raise this child.

    I'm so very sorry that this what you are dealing with.

    Brilliant!! I'm glad that you have something that you enjoy doing and it doesn't cost anything.

    Continue to be good to yourself.

    ((HUGS))
    :staystrong::notalone: