timer lady
Queen of Hearts
I'm going to visit wm this morning after not visiting for a couple of weeks per therapist's suggestion.
wm has become more & more demanding that if we don't bring a gift he doesn't want to see us. Makes the entire visit miserable. :frown: While I want to spend time with wm, play a game, go out to the playground, you know, normal mom/son stuff; he wants the cash.
wm is attempting to triangulate all the adults/caregivers in his life with the "poor orphan" story. It's no longer working for him & he's escalating. In the past, especially in foster care, people would look into his beautiful brown eyes & feel sorry for him.
The entire team is working on teaching wm that he isn't the only person in the world. Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker, specifically, is frustrated with wm because it's no fun to work with a child who feels the world owes him because of life in bio home & here at our home.
Foster mum points out to wm that he HAS a family who are very involved in his life (grandparents, aunts & uncles send letters), parents who love him & want to see him thrive.
He's made choices (seemingly deliberate - though we may never know) that have pushed all the caregivers to the point of taking no prisoners.
There isn't enough stuff in the world for wm to prove that he's loved & liked.
The entire team is working the same plan - guided by attachment therapist. So, today, if wm asks for one thing or dismisses me because I show up with nothing, I'm to turn around & leave.
As wm's mom this seems harsh. As we've tried about everything under the sun, we're hoping this helps.
Hard sell for both wm & myself.
wm has become more & more demanding that if we don't bring a gift he doesn't want to see us. Makes the entire visit miserable. :frown: While I want to spend time with wm, play a game, go out to the playground, you know, normal mom/son stuff; he wants the cash.
wm is attempting to triangulate all the adults/caregivers in his life with the "poor orphan" story. It's no longer working for him & he's escalating. In the past, especially in foster care, people would look into his beautiful brown eyes & feel sorry for him.
The entire team is working on teaching wm that he isn't the only person in the world. Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker, specifically, is frustrated with wm because it's no fun to work with a child who feels the world owes him because of life in bio home & here at our home.
Foster mum points out to wm that he HAS a family who are very involved in his life (grandparents, aunts & uncles send letters), parents who love him & want to see him thrive.
He's made choices (seemingly deliberate - though we may never know) that have pushed all the caregivers to the point of taking no prisoners.
There isn't enough stuff in the world for wm to prove that he's loved & liked.
The entire team is working the same plan - guided by attachment therapist. So, today, if wm asks for one thing or dismisses me because I show up with nothing, I'm to turn around & leave.
As wm's mom this seems harsh. As we've tried about everything under the sun, we're hoping this helps.
Hard sell for both wm & myself.
